


A Dissidence In Gray

by EnemyOfInnocence



Category: Star Wars - All Media Types, Star Wars Original Trilogy, Star Wars Prequel Trilogy, Star Wars Sequel Trilogy
Genre: Angst and Hurt/Comfort, Ben Solo Lives, Ben Solo is a Mess, Bendemption, Canon Compliant, Dark Rey (Star Wars), Dark Side Rey, Devoted Rey/Ben Solo | Kylo Ren, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Enemies to Friends to Lovers, Enemies to Lovers, Episode IX, Episode X, Eventual Smut, Explicit Sexual Content, F/M, Force Bond (Star Wars), Force Dyad (Star Wars), Hurt/Comfort, Kylo Ren Redemption, Light Side Ben Solo, Past Abuse, Past Sexual Abuse, Past Torture, Post-Canon, Post-Canon Fix-It, Protective Ben Solo, Redemption, Reylo - Freeform, Romance, Sexual Tension, Slow Burn, Star Wars: The Rise of Skywalker Spoilers, Virgin Rey (Star Wars), past dubious consent
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-12-20
Updated: 2020-01-12
Packaged: 2021-02-26 07:14:37
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 16
Words: 65,836
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21869635
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/EnemyOfInnocence/pseuds/EnemyOfInnocence
Summary: What if love was a force stronger than the Force itself? What if Rey and Ben's story didn't end? What if death could be a strange, twisted new beginning? Sometimes you have to write the story you want to read. Especially if a finale leaves you feeling unsatisfied. [SMUT & SPOILERS INSIDE!]Episode XA DISSIDENCE IN GRAYHaving decimated Emperor Palpatine’s last attempt to power three years ago, General Leia Organa's legacy, the RESISTANCE, leads the efforts to restore peace to the galaxy in her honor.Few know of Rey, the scavenger from Jakku who hides a secret that threatens to dismantle the fate of the NEW REPUBLIC. Tensions rise from within the war-torn galaxy. Generals Poe Dameron and Finn are certain Rey will return and rebuild the JEDI ORDER.But the scavenger stands alone, a singularity in the Force Dyad that helped exterminate the Emperor. The Force is crippled, and old faces, friend and foe, rise and march toward the same goal: finding Rey...
Relationships: Kylo Ren & Rey, Kylo Ren/Rey, Padmé Amidala & Anakin Skywalker, Padmé Amidala/Anakin Skywalker, Rey & Ben Solo | Kylo Ren, Rey/Ben Solo, Rey/Ben Solo | Kylo Ren
Comments: 106
Kudos: 463





	1. Echoes Of The Past

**Author's Note:** So...I have a few thoughts and feelings I need to exercise after seeing The Rise of Skywalker... _Spoilers abound in this fic_. Read this only after seeing the last movie, please. I can't live with that ending. I needed more, so here we are!

This is REYLO with an ending that's compliant with Episode IX...but this is a what-if "epilogue" or sorts. Romance, angst, and fluff will be heavily featured. Because I love the gooey gushy stuff more than I care to admit.

Enjoy!

* * *

**CHAPTER 1**

Three years later — Tatooine

REY

* * *

The exhaustive, expansive heat clinging to Tatooine echoed the only comfort Rey knew since the defeat of the First and Final Orders. The sound was more like a frequency to which she needed to acutely tune in order to feel the slippery, smooth texture of the brief respite from the daily distractions that only stacked higher over her head as each day passed. Working around Luke Skywalker's abandoned home had revitalized a much appreciated purpose in her life.

Still, the whispers of familiar echos of her past sang in her heart like a somber lullaby she almost remembered from her childhood. They were both beautiful and haunting, a precious reminder that she was a part of some greater unknown.

Connected, but annexed.

Nothing had changed from before she'd left Jakku—except now she was responsible for a boy she'd saved over a year ago after being sold with his sister into the old system of slavery by his parents. Without the rule of an overbearing empire or order, life on outlier planets like Tatooine had been taken hostage by dangerous groups set out to lay claim on vulnerable people.

Though she did what she could here, the Resistance was splintered for now. Poe enjoyed a life leading the remaining compatriots on the exceedingly hostile systems to establish some order without as much bloodshed that naturally gravitates people craving any slice of power they could pluck from unassuming natives. Finn searched the galaxy for other Force sensitive people—mostly seeking out children without a family to care for them. The plan was to eventually cultivate the Jedi order with him, but Rey couldn't muster up the desire to leave the only place where she could feel Luke's life pulse around her as she completed her chores.

Although she was home, she still lacked the family she feared she'd always crave. At the very least, the boy eagerly fulfilled her desire for companionship. Desren was no more than eight years old. The kid was small for his age, but he was rather bright for someone so clumsy. His bold green eyes reminded her of a forest where, for the first time, she'd felt the first caress of humidity against her skin. His hair was platinum, the shade almost disappearing in the sand when the suns first cut the night away.

"Des?" Rey shouted, slapping her hands against each other as she gathered the proper ingredients for their bland breakfast. She wasn't the best cook, but there was no waking the boy up before the suns' first whispers. "You better be up and at it before I pry you from your bed!"

Rey slipped past the corner of the kitchen and halted at an aged, dusty wall scraped and nicked—precisely one for each day since extinguishing the uprising of the Final Order. Soft prickles teased her dry lips, and Rey instinctively brushed her fingers against them to replicate the warmth she'd felt that same day.

Brief, but unyielding.

With her spare hand, Rey flattened her palm against the scarred wall, fanning her fingers against the cool structure. Tears burned her eyes, and she swallowed the thick ball tangled in her throat as she stepped toward the wall and bowed her forehead against it. Her name in his voice trickled across her mind like a ripple that eventually grew to a colossal tidal wave, threatening to knock her knees out. Its power matched the raw fierceness Ben had before he faded from her.

"Rey!"

Desren's high pitched voice made her gasp, and she turned around, her back facing a past that contained a future she'd never have. Clearing her throat, Rey shook her head and stumbled forward, toward the outside of the home. Looking around, Rey shouted, "Des!" Her voice was weak, so she sighed and repeated his name with better control.

"Look!" Desren hollered from behind her. Rey spun around and sucked in a breath, instantly pacifying the storm brewing within her heart. The boy dragged a small, but older woman toward their home. "I met a new friend!"

Rey rushed toward the woman. Though light cut through the night and hung low on the horizon, it was still too dark to make out the specific details of her cloaked figure. "General Leia?" Rey whispered. The woman glanced up at her, and Rey gasped, taking Des' hand and pulling him behind her. "Sorry, you remind me of an old friend." The stranger looked so much like Leia, but Rey wouldn't take a chance.

The woman didn't look more than ten years older than Rey, and she latched on her arm and frantically searched Rey's brown, guarded hues. "We have to find my husband!"

Rey shook her head and furrowed her brows. Swallowing, Rey examined the woman's grip on her, and tentatively gazed down at the older woman. "You're not from here."

"There's no time to waste! They're coming after me, and I don't know what's going on. I need to find my husband!"

"What's your name?" Rey asked, head shaking as she touched the stranger's shoulder. "Who's after you?"

"I'm Padme! Anakin's my husband! He grew up here!" The woman glanced over her shoulder, and rushed past Rey. "Please! We need to get out before they get here!" Padme glanced to the side, noticing Rey's small ship. "Please!"

"A-Anakin Skywalker?" Rey whispered, chest deflating as she stumbled back to catch up to Padme's pace. She clutched Desren to make sure he stayed with her, though he had to run to accommodate her haste. "That's not possible. He died decades ago."

Though faint, pressure gathered in her mind, reverberating distant sounds of pods and speeders incoming closer and closer. Looking over her shoulder, dozens of headlights emerged in the distance. Rey's mind sharpened, eyes darting to Desren. "Stay by my side," she told him. Checking over to the woman, she pointed at the small cargo ship. "Get to the ship and stay there!"

"Where are you going? We have to leave now!"

"Just go!"

Rey sprinted down into her home and rushed to her room, reaching for her duffel bag and shouting, "BB-8! Time to move!"

Beeping noises sprang to life, indicating to Rey the droid understood her. The droid rolled around her and rushed toward the ship. Rey paused, eyes committing the home to memory for a brief second before Desren pulled on her arm.

"Come on, Rey!"

"Right…" she murmured, inhaling as she rushed out of her room and clung onto her bag, stopping only once she reached the scarred wall. Rey's chest swelled, mourning something she didn't understand for the moment. Shivering more the further she ran away from the wall, Rey's eyes didn't leave the structure until she ascended the entryway.

Rushing to the spot where she buried the two lightsabers, Rey felt tears streaming down her face. The woman named Padme yelled out her name after Desren, but their voices faded for a moment. As the sabers jostled back to the surface, Rey wiped her eyes and swallowed. Grabbing the parcel, she rushed to the ship and started jamming her fingers into buttons, breathing life into the hunk of space junk. The ship took off just as the speeders closed in. Lasers fired from all directions, but most missed the ship due to her expert maneuvering. Rey watched as the group obliterated Luke's home, crying out as her broken, monotonous routine fed a healthy fire.

Circling the homestead one last time, Rey reached for a device and brought it to her mouth. "Finn! Poe! Are you there?" Rey's voice strained, and her throat scratched as she inhaled. "I've been attacked! Please tell me you're both alright!"

Silence underscored seconds than spanned minutes. Rey steered the ship away from Tatooine and set course for the only place she could think of on the fly. Padme and Desren spoke, but she didn't hear the words. Swallowing, she shook her head and fanned her fingers to adjust to the moisture beading across her skin.

"Finn! Poe?" Rey screamed as her hand holding the receiver shook violently. "Ros! Answer me!"

"Rey!" Finn hollered through the static. "You were attacked, too?"

"Please tell me you're okay."

"Rey, we're good! No casualties, but we were forced to evacuate. They used the Force, and they caught us unaware!" He quieted for a moment, but continued a few seconds later. "Poe ordered us to get out before they slaughtered us."

"Thank the stars!" Rey wiped her tears. "Finn, they destroyed it! Luke's home is gone…"

"Where are you heading?"

Checking on Desren, Rey shook her head. "For now, Ahch-To. At least until I can figure out a plan...meet me there and send for a quiet supply run in Canto Bight. We use the same contact, so it's the least risky option for the moment."

"Can you get there okay?" Finn asked. After a while, he added, "Did you manage to grab everything before you evacuated?"

"We can talk more when you all get there. I have enough fuel to make it there, but I haven't stocked this ship in a while, so my supplies are low."

"I'll let Poe know everything. There's so much to talk about."

Rey narrowed her eyes. "Just get to Ahch-To safely, and we'll sort it all out."

**\- - - - - - - - - - - - -**

Rey threw herself on the small couch opposite Padme's. A thin table separated them. Rey tapped her nails against the metal surface. "Talk."

Sparing a short glance to Desren, she leaned back and slid down in her seat, relaxing only when she saw the boy at peace and sleeping. "Our home was destroyed today because of you."

The strange, elegant woman rubbed her neck and joined her hands in her lap, posture proper and straight. "I didn't mean to cause this much trouble, but I already told you everything...I woke up in a room full of strange people and snuck away. When I stepped outside, I recognized immediately that I was on Tatooine, so I stole a speeder and made my way to Ani's house." Padme's features softened. "I can't remember anything except the life I lived. Any events leading up prior to me waking up are a blur."

Rey hesitated, narrowing her eyes as she studied the woman. "Are you really Luke and Leia's mother?"

"I died just minutes after they were born, but yes."

Shaking her head, Rey rubbed her hand over her face. "How is this possible? Why are you here?"

Padme shrugged. "I don't know anything. All I know is that I need to find Ani."

The air around Rey squeezed, jolting her up from her seat. Sound drained until distorted sounds from a different ship sang around her as the Millenium Falcon shaped around her. Breathless, she turned around, but the images snapped away. Eyes scanning the ancient vessel, Rey's chest expanded as she panted as if she was out of breath.

Tears stung her eyes as they sagged down to her feet. Hope was what allowed the Resistance to win the war, but anytime she captured it, only pain seeped in to fill the deep void buried at her chest.

"Are you alright?"

Exhaling, Rey touched her lips, feeling the warmth of her breath kindling her cool fingertips. Dropping her hand at her side, she swallowed. "I'm fine," she murmured, the lie easily sliding up her throat and past her mouth. Whether the response satisfied her new companion or not mattered very little at the moment. "I'm going to check on the autopilot."

* * *

**Consider leaving your thoughts in the form of a review before you leave. :)**


	2. Whispers Of The Future

**Author's Note:** Just to ebb any confusion, this is a "fix-it" fic, one where I respect the creative choices of the canon film, but I also make the changes I wanted to personally see (maybe minus a few faces coming back to life that accidentally happened when I wrote the first chapter). I should probably note that while I love the movies, I'm not really versed on the books/EU...so apologies in advance if I slightly get stuff wrong. Research is my BFF right now to make this story possible.

Ben will be in this story next chapter. I needed to set up a few things before our beloved returns for good! Steady on!

* * *

**CHAPTER 2**

_ Ahch-To _

_ REY _

* * *

Not one thing about the Mirror Cave under the island had changed. A stab of cold iron tormented her bloodstream, making her limbs feel like steel had been injected inside of her body and was slowly hardening at a relentless pace. The last time she’d visited, answers had been the only thing she’d required.

Exposure to extreme isolation was nothing new for her, but since the Force had revealed her powers to her, being alone was almost not possible. When she’d first made Luke’s home hers, BB-8 had been enough. The droid carried conversations with her and sat beside her when she tried desperately not to cry too much.

Kylo Ren had died. Ben Solo had finally come to her. Nothing had turned out how it ought to. Palpatine had repeated that she and Ben were two of a kind. A pair. Somehow, they had always existed in the same orbit. Whether the sun had shone over their connection or not, he had always been a part of her. No matter how much noise she made or to whom she spoke with, nothing detracted from the fact that she was, forevermore, alone.

Ben died saving her life, and she couldn’t shake the need away long enough to honor that sacrifice. One of the last decisions he’d committed had been abandoning the dark side, yet here she was about to bang on the front door for a chance to even just hear his voice one more time. If she was a Jedi, then Rey wouldn’t be here.

She  _ shouldn’t _ be here. Yet she was.

Swallowing, Rey gently placed her hand on the mirror, waiting for the Force to respond in any way. The longer she stood there, staring into the vacant expanse of her own hues, Rey began to break, her resolve meaningless in this moment of misery.

“I want to see him.”

The command was proven powerless. Wiping a stray tear off her face, she leaned against the mirror, feeling a tight pressure respond in kind. Something was here, but it, too, remained unresponsive to her existence. 

Desperation was the final frontier into which Rey could never trespass. It only led to further smudging the defined edges of the clear boundaries set in place by the light side. At least for her. Another thing she wouldn’t do for the dark?

Beg.

That was a boundary all her own, since she possessed so little these days. Begging a mirror also seemed a bit weird, too. It certainly wouldn’t bring him back to her.

“I won’t be back,” Rey said, establishing another boundary between her and the dark side. “Kylo Ren never won me over. I certainly won’t let an inanimate object best me…”

Getting out of the cave proved easier than the last time she’d visited, but when the warmth radiating through the thick clouds swarming the island struck her face, Rey froze. Closing her eyes, she silenced each of her senses one at a time until all that surrounded her was a channel connecting her to the Force.

_ Ben? _

Sometimes, when she needed guidance, Rey opened her mind to the Jedi preceding her. On rare occasions, Luke would phase as a Force ghost, revealing himself to her as she did when she fled here after finding out who she was, though in the last three years, she’d only held a total of five conversations with him.

It was always only him. 

No Leia. No Ben. No one.

Opening her eyes, she sighed. Silence, as always.

Trekking across the island back to the huts took only a bit longer due to her slowed, lagging pace. With the First and Final Orders gone, what purpose was she still yet alive to fulfill? Half of her was one with the Force, while the other half of her was much like Kylo Ren’s last helmet: cracked but in one piece.

**\- - - - - - - - - - - - -**

“How long before you’re here?” Rey asked the receiver, eyes watching the crashing waves strike the island. Three days had passed, and, while not in immediate danger, Finn hadn’t explained what took him so long to get to her on Ahch-To. “Our food store is out, but I’m able to hunt and scavenge in the meantime.”

“Didn’t you say your cargo ship had enough food to last half a week?” Finn asked, the static distorting some of the words.

“Half a week for one person, yes.”

Finn immediately replied, “So what’s the issue? You’re alone.”

Rey sighed. “I thought we’d talk about this in person, but...no. I’m not alone.”

“What do you mean not alone?” 

Her friend’s pause pronounced the fierce jolt piercing her gut. Swallowing, Rey parted her lips and leaned back down onto the ground behind her, eyes feasting on the gray, cloudy sky. “I’m traveling with a woman and a boy.”

“What? Why haven’t you said anything sooner?”

Rey rolled her eyes. “Don’t, please. I’ve wanted to tell you about the boy for a while, but I’ve just never gotten around to it.”

“How long have you been lying?” Finn chuckled, though the sound was clipped and tense. “What else are you hiding?”

Rey shook her head. Finn was the only one who knew about Ben Solo...what happened down in the cave with Palpatine. They’d agreed to settle on a common story where Kylo Ren stripped himself of the dark side because of his mother’s passing. How that Ben had come to help her, but perished while they fought Palpatine. It wasn’t the truth, but both of them knew the galaxy would never accept the truth.

If her origins were made public, widespread panic would inevitably bottleneck any progress made for the Resistance, who sought to reinstate the democracy of Leia’s legacy. Slowly and carefully. For the good of the galaxy, Rey was once again in hiding. It was easier to be alone than to have to look Poe and her comrades in the eye and spoon feed them a great and terrible lie.

Besides, Rey hardly knew how to lead. That was part of the reason why she had little interest in starting up another Jedi order. Rey hardly had control of her own self. Before she led anyone into the Force, she wanted to know without doubt she could trust herself. Luke, a Jedi master, had failed. The Knights before him failed. 

What made her any better than them?

“We can talk later, Finn. I need you here.” Rey needed her friend. Movement in the background mangled her ability to make out everything being said, but after a few moments, Rey heard Poe’s voice.

“Get to Ahch-To. We need all hands on deck now that we’re against Sith wannabes.”

Rey’s brows flattened and her mouth trembled. “Finn?” What was going on? “Where are you?”

“We’ve hit a few...small bumps on our way to Ahch-To. We’re on Naboo now. We’ve been working to secure it as our base of operations. It’s the center of the future and one of the last remaining planets from the Old and New Republic where a large portion of the population supports us.”

Rey swallowed. “Finn!”

“We’ll get to you soon. Give me one more day, and we’ll all be together again.”

**\- - - - - - - - - - - - -**

“Rey?” Desren whispered as he joined her on the rock she sat on around the fire she’d stoked to life. When she looked at him, he continued, “Do you think Asa’s alright?”

Rey’s throat clenched, but she managed to swallow down any hesitation. Neutralizing her features, she gave the boy a warm smile and reached around him, hand cupping his opposite shoulder to bring him closer to her. “She’s a very resourceful girl. I’m sure she’s fine.”

“Would I know if she’s died?”

Rey’s smile faltered. “It depends on your talents in the Force, I suppose.”

“When will I begin training, Rey?” He nibbled on his small portion of food and stared at the fire. “I want to help protect the galaxy with you! We could go around and help people forever.”

“That’s a pretty picture, Des.” Rey laughed and took a bite of the poorly cooked food. “Before you become the next Jedi master, you have to learn how to survive on your own. The Force is only a tool you use to help achieve whatever means you wish, but if you can’t hunt or survive without it, it’s no more than a fancy party trick.”

Padme joined them by the fire, the black of night framing the world beyond the fire’s glow. Though she wore ragged slave’s garb, the woman had all the elegance and poise fit for a queen. Rey had purposely avoided speaking with her about anything too meaningful. Mostly because everything about the woman reminded her of everything she’d lost.

“Is that all the Force is now?” Padme joked, her smile wide yet gentle. She sipped the water from a cup taken from the cargo ship they’d used to get here and stared at Rey. “Where I come from, the Force is the foundation of the Jedi Order, fierce and powerful guardians of peace and order.”

“Really?” Des handed Rey the rest of his food and leaned in toward Padme. 

In the last three days, the two of them had spent loads of time together as Rey brushed up on her lightsaber training routine. With each passing hour, Des grew far more interested in hearing stories of a world that would never again be. He’d not been finishing chores, which was highly unusual for the clingy boy who always hung onto Rey’s every word. The better part of the last two years had been them on their own. After a few weeks, the boy had realized his sixteen-year-old sister was not coming back. That was when Rey had been able to sow seeds of their strong bond, which had been born from their mutual lack of a real family.

Before Padme could speak, Rey shoved his food back at him. “Eat, Des.”

“I want to hear the story!”

Rey didn’t acknowledge the other woman; instead, she sighed. “Come on, I don’t know when we’ll eat again. We need to keep up our strength.”

Des looked at the food, grumbling as he swiped it from her hand. “Fine,” he said.

“Go finish your chores.” Rey checked back at the old ship, adding, “Then off to bed.”

The boy’s features sagged with the same drama as his shoulders and chest deflated. Saying nothing, he obeyed her and said good night to Padme after she bid him good night. BB-8 rolled on after Desren.

Rey waited until he was on the ship before meeting the other woman’s eyes. “I barely know much about the Old Republic or the New, but what I do know is that the Jedi Order in addition to several key choices made by you and those close to you allowed the Empire to take control of the galaxy.”

Padme’s mouth hung open, but she didn’t defend herself. “He’s only a child. I was only trying to help keep his spirits up.”

“I don’t want him getting the wrong idea about what I’m teaching him. I hardly know  _ what _ to teach him. He’s a good boy, and I’m doing my best...even though it’s likely not enough.”

“I’m sorry, Rey,” Padme replied, her voice no louder than a hushed whisper. Shaking her head, they shared a look that quietly solidified into an understanding. “I hardly recognize anything. Until I’m with Ani, I’m just taking one thing at a time. I’m sure he’ll know more about how I’m alive again.”

Rey narrowed her eyes. “How do you know he’s even alive?”

“Because I heard him telling me to wake up seconds before I woke up,” Padme explained, gracefully biting the fish meat on the skewer.

“And that’s all you need to know for certain?”

“I felt him,” Padme added, brushing her hair back from her face when the wind picked up. “I don’t know where he is, but I know he’s alive.”

Rey examined her food and lowered her eyes to the snapping fire. “Do you think he’d know if it’s possible to bring others back?” she whispered.

Padme straightened and fidgeted where she sat. “I-I’m not sure you know what you’re asking.”

“I know exactly what I’m asking…” Rey stood up and threw her empty skewer into the fire. Turning her back to the woman, she turned her head toward her shoulder, saying, “My friends should be here before tonight ends, so stay close to the ship.”

“Do you know where they’re taking us once we leave here?”

Rey stared down at her, hesitant to reveal much for some reason. “They’re on Naboo for now. I think they found a bit of trouble either on the way there or once they landed.”

Padme’s eyes dropped to the fire, a small smile mustering up one corner of her mouth. “That’s my home…” Rather quickly, the woman sprang up and rushed toward Rey, spinning her around and reaching for her shoulders. “This isn’t a coincidence! Ani’s there! He  _ has _ to be…”

“I wouldn’t get your hopes too high,” Rey replied, attention shifting down at one of Padme’s hands. Though smaller than Leia’s, her palm was as gentle and impossibly firm all at once. Tears stung her eyes, and she moved away from Padme. “I’m going to start organizing everything and try to see if they’re getting close.”

Though she heard the woman call after her, Rey stepped toward the ship without sparing another glance behind her.

* * *

**Consider leaving your thoughts in the form of a review before you leave. :)**


	3. A Flash of Fury

**Author's Note:** So...this chapter is way too long. I tried to tackle all of the drama before we get too far into this story because I wanted Ben to show up as soon as possible. I'm writing the scene now. He's in the next chapter! EEK! Expect the next chapter tonight! Keep an eye out in your inboxes, as it might not show up if I update twice in the same day (like I did yesterday)... LOL.

Enjoy!

* * *

**CHAPTER 3**

_Naboo_

_REY_

* * *

The transport ship arranged to come to Ahch-To hadn't had any of her friends on it. Instead, they'd sent mediocre pilots on a ship only large enough for lugging no more than seven people. The lack of cargo Rey'd hauled onto the craft had surprised them. She had only one bag, her splintered staff, and the boy and Padme.

The ride to Naboo had been quiet, but at least Desren had seen the galaxy like he always craved to explore. The sadness she sensed in him, while still buried in his heart, had waned; that gave Rey a sliver of comfort. The boy worried so desperately for his sister, who'd abandon him in the middle of the night. No matter how much Rey had tried, there had been no stopping Asa.

The boy had only known life in a desert. Much of the ride, Rey'd been studying the boy's features shift from various shades of excitement, happiness, and wonder with the passing of the galaxy's various features and planets. He, like she had, experienced much for the first time. Even with all she'd been through, Rey still had much to experience. And while he thought differently, there was no one to share any of it with.

Arriving on the planet, Rey had been taking inventory of what few things she possessed, despite Padme encouraging her to view the wondrous texture of her home's landscape. Instead, Rey glanced over to her. Life manifested in her eyes, which took root of her expression, breathing a fierce vitality and glow across them as she quietly sobbed.

Rey looked down at her shaking hands when she whispered, "He's here...He has to be here!"

A tight ball caught in Rey's throat, and she looked back at Padme's expressive eyes. "Are you Force sensitive, too?" She didn't know why she hadn't asked before. They'd spent the better part of the last four days together, albeit mostly in shock and silence. The woman, in less than five minutes, had uprooted Rey's entire life. There was much Rey should have known by now, but if, at the end of this small journey together, she found the arms of whom she loved, Rey needed not to get too close to her. The pain would hurt more if they were close. Someone else would, yet again, have another thing Rey could never touch.

Padme checked Rey by sliding her eyes to the side. Turning her chin, a steady smile bloomed on the woman's lips. "No, but a woman in love always knows."

Although there was much Rey did not know about the years between Padme's death and now, She'd heard the dark rumors of what life had been like under Darth Vader's rule under the direct leadership of the Emperor: her grandfather. Did she know of all her husband had murdered? What would she say when she ultimately found out? Although Luke had saved his father, you couldn't wipe away history and deeds done.

The scavenger had been prepared to start a life with Ben Solo, but it wasn't meant to be. The Force had taken him before they had even a chance to talk. Much would always be left unsaid between them. Rey gripped the seat until her fingers were white and swallowed. The silence of their connection was nearly enough to drive her mad.

Padme covered her shaky hand in her small palm. Rey gasped, checking her once over. "You grieve someone. If you ever wish to speak about them, please know that I am here."

Ben.

The Force pulsed around her, and the world around her blurred as the silence fell away like it had on Ahch-To. Something said her name, but the whisper had no distinguishing clues she could interpret. It could have been Luke. Maybe even Master Kenobi, who'd revealed himself to her once just after she'd found the boy.

It was never the man she loved, the man she mourned.

Snatching her hand from Padme, she clutched the big bag in her lap, closing it before anyone had the opportunity to see inside. Not even Desren knew. This bag was the sole thing that was wholly hers.

Rey flashed her eyes at Desren. "Des, stay with Padme when we land. I'll need to speak with the Generals."

Desren looked at her, his nod brief and almost nonexistent. "Okay…"

"Des, I will find you as soon as I am able. You will stay with Padme and disregard anything anyone else tells you. You're not to use the...that...until we know more."

"I know…"

**\- - - - - - - - - - - - -**

Rey rushed out of the small freighter, and her eyes immediately locked onto Finn. Tears pooled in her eyes as she smiled. "Finn!"

"REY!" Finn shoved a few Resistance comrades in order to match the speed at which she rushed toward him.

Despite their problems, he would always be her best friend. When his arms locked her against him, he lifted her off the ground and spun her around once, while she held her eyes closed, leaning her head against his. She knew she smelled less than ideal. Living on a desert planet, that was honestly just a standard. At least on Ahch-To, she could bathe in the sea.

"I'm so glad to see you, Rey!" Finn said, pulling away and brushing hair from her face. His smile was so infectious that her own grew twofold. "How has it been almost two years?"

Rey swallowed. "It doesn't matter!" she said. For a brief second, she was home, though the warm feeling didn't reach for her as long as she wished. Opening her eyes, Rey saw burns and holes gaping all along the Falcon. She shoved Finn away from her and rushed toward it, giving no regard to anything else. Tears burned her eyes, and she did little to stop them from falling down her face.

Chewie growled behind her, saying, "It's salvageable!"

There was no time to return Chewie's hug because Rey dropped her bag by the Wookie's feet. Rey stepped away from her tall, furry friend and shook her head, chuckling and hanging her mouth open.

"It's in worse condition from when Poe lightspeed skipped it!" Though she could not see him, Poe sighed. She was acutely familiar with his sigh, even after two years of not hearing it. Rey darted to him, but he expertly backed up until he walked up the ramp into the Falcon as Rey chased after him.

Holding up his hands, Poe stared down at her. "Now hold on...it's not as bad as it looks!"

"Not as bad as it looks?" Rey followed him further into the ship, stopping once the vessel squealed under the weight of her feet. Throwing up her hands around her, she pointed to various places where the hanger around them could be seen from within the ship. "You said you'd take care of the Falcon!"

Poe maneuvered around her, but she targeted his every move and followed after him, her pace slow enough to give him the distance he felt he needed from her. He checked over his shoulder, seeing Finn. Grabbing their friend, Poe dragged the other man between them and pushed him at Rey, who expertly slid away.

"Rey, it'll get repaired!" Finn said, reaching for her hand.

Why was everyone touching her hand? She plucked it away from Finn and growled. "Don't touch me!" Stalking toward Poe, she twitched her fingers as energy in her heart pulsed across her body, the Force alive within her. "You promised!"

"You're acting like the ship's yours!" Poe fought, finally standing his ground when she almost came nose to nose with him. "It belonged to Leia, who left the Resistance under my leadership."

"It belongs to Chewie and..it was Han's!"

Finn pushed Poe backward and put himself between their battlefield, but it was Rey he looked at. "What's gotten into you?"

Rey actually laughed. "Me?" Her hands started shaking. Her chest expanded and contracted at a speed that nearly made her head go light.

Snapping her eyes back on Poe, she opened her mouth to speak, but a sharp prick in the Force nipped at her ear, and she turned around, seeing a boy about Desren's age shuffling through her bag. In his hands was Kylo Ren's lightsaber. Its condition was poor. Being at the bottom of a moon's ocean for a few months had done nearly irreparable damage, but, in her downtime, Rey had gone to extreme lengths to repair it for no other reason than to have something to do on Tatooine.

Swallowing, she held out her hand and swiped it from the child's with ease. Her other hand called her bag toward her. Catching the saber first, Rey threw the strap of her large bag over her head and stepped around Finn, so that he and Poe were side by side.

Their eyes locked onto the lightsaber she tightly held onto. Finn's face paled, while Poe's chin trembled. Both men stood frozen, until their hands rose over their heads. After a moment, Poe glared at Rey, while her best friend stared at her in horror.

"R-Rey, put down the lightsaber."

Rey's tears singed her skin like pools of lava. Her lashes tangled as she blinked wildly, stepping back. While she knew in her bones that something wasn't right with either just Poe or possibly both of them, she was bound to where she stood with the recognition that the men who'd become the closest thing to family as she'd ever get thought she was capable of hurting them.

Lightning zapped at her palm, and she gasped, dropping the saber to the ground and letting it spin at her feet between them. Coiling her fist into a tight ball, Rey stepped back, her attention hard and heavy. Fixed on Finn.

"You told him…"

Poe stepped forward, suddenly her hunter. Rey stepped back. Her gut clenched, but the warning went ignored, the cold reality settling around her. Before he got too close to her, Rey called the lightsaber back into her palm and walked to her left, keeping her distance, but matching the shape of a circle that Poe set.

"I know what you are, Rey," Poe said, his voice rough like gravel was rumbling in his throat. "Finn told me everything. Leia should never have trained you…"

Rey closed her eyes, listening as the Force rattled and jolted her skin with equal ferocity as her mind burned. "You know nothing, Poe!"

"I know that you loved that monster…" Poe chuckled, pushing Finn away with an unnatural strength. Rey kept her focus on Poe as he stepped closer. Smirking, Poe laughed, the noise venomous. "And good riddance, too."

Rey's features trembled, breaking one piece at a time. The tears stopped pouring down her face. The Force ripped through her, settling in her belly and shooting up her spine until she spiraled out of her control's tight grasp. She screamed as she ignited Ren's saber.

"Yes…" Poe seethed. "Don't hold back!"

The words were hardly audible, but they were the only solid thing she could catch in the energy pulsing around her. Narrowing her eyes, she sheathed the saber and slid it on her waistband. Reaching out to Poe, she captured him the same way Kylo Ren had held her captive in the forests of Takodana. Poe only smiled maniacally.

She held both hands at his head, fingers jostling as she entered his mind. At the borders between reality and his mind, she heard him crying out. The further inside she slipped, the sounds echoed into inaudible whispers.

"Rey!" a man's voice called from somewhere distant. It was a voice she'd heard once or twice before.

Pushing further into Poe's mind, she slipped beyond the reach of whoever's voice it was and found the epicenter of the chaos swarming Poe's mind. A figure emerged from darkness, doing very little to conceal its presence from her.

"At last we meet, Rey."

"Get out of my friend's mind!"

"The child born of love and darkness." From the darkness formed a shadow that eventually shaped into a man drenched in red and black where skin should be. "I wanted to officially meet you."

Rey stayed back, but somehow, the scenery changed from flashes of Poe's past and private memories to a planet made of flowing lava.

"Behind you," the sinister voice sang.

Rey spun around, igniting her yellow saber to life and shielding herself from a stray red beam of light reigning down on her. Her saber hissed against the man's red one.

"Let's test out your abilities while you're here!" the man chuckled, his voice echoing between the tall valley they stood between. She swung her blade around, blocking his attempts at attacking her, but where she quickly felt her energy deplete, the monstrous man almost seemed to gain more. "You may have inherited the darkness, but power is nothing without the skill to defend yourself."

Rey's feet kissed the edge of the black ground before the flowing river of lava and ducked to dodge another swing of his. He pulled it back, and she sprang into the air with every spec of energy she could muster and flipped over across to the opposite side of the valley's molten river.

The man smirked, backing up, and Rey shot looks in either direction, seeing no break in the steep slopes framing the river. Running to her left, she ran with as much speed as she could summon, but eventually she came face-to-face with Ben, who held out his hand toward her.

Rey sank to her knees. "Stop this…"

The hiss of his lightsaber hovering over her shoulder wasn't enough to break her focus locked onto Ben. Tears stung her eyes. There wasn't a scar on his face, and his hair was too short to be her Ben.

A swell of anger ignited within her that harnessed more power than any Starkiller could steal from all the suns in the galaxy. Her whole body shook, and she shoved her lightsaber through Ben's chest, instantly fading away the same way he did three years ago. She shoved her hand behind her, sending this strange looking man back far enough for her to focus and rush toward him with the same control Leia had taught her to harness when using her weapon. Closing her eyes and stopping halfway to him, she opened them when he was close enough to strike at her. She slid down and sliced his hip: not deep, but a hit nonetheless.

Rey smirked and waved her saber behind her. The man recovered, standing up tall and rose his saber at her eye level, his sick smile broadening when the other side of his saber ignited in a second blade.

Footsteps raced around her, and she rushed to stand up just as a familiar blue lightsaber cracked with life. A man with shoulder-length blond hair stood between her and the man she'd heard more than she'd seen.

"Anakin?" she shouted.

He didn't look back at her. Instead, he surveyed his prey and slowly walked toward the other man. "This is only a distraction, Rey! Focus on mending Poe's mind. I'll deal with Maul."

The hot, black world slipped away from her, and she was alone in a void of blackness. She was cold, and she could hardly breathe. Sharpening her own mind, she listened until she attuned to a memory deep within Poe's memory. At its core, a sharp storm of darkness fed. Rey opened her eyes, seeing veins bulge from Poe's face as he convulsed, shaking between her hands. Looking to her right, she saw Anakin's hand on one of hers, eyes closed but he winced.

Flashing her attention back on Poe, Rey closed her eyes again and latched back inside his mind, fishing for the core again and feeling the prickles of the dark side spinning all around her. Holding her hands out, Rey screamed and held out her hand. A shockwave splashed a tidal wave of energy at her, but she held her place. A bright white light swelled from her palm, clashing and sparring with the cloud of blackness until a thick grey mist swelled, swallowing her whole.

Rey shot through the air away from Poe and roughly landed on the Falcon's roof, rolling further away until she stopped herself with the Force. Heaving her chest a few times, she struggled up to her feet, ignoring the small gash oozing a slow, but steady stream of blood down her clothes as she hobbled toward the edge of the battered ship. Hopping down, she eased her landing with a bit of help from the Force.

Crew members balked as she looked around, only reading fear in their eyes. These were many of the same people she'd celebrated with just hours after Ben had faded. Now, she was the stuff of their nightmares.

Did all of them know who she was?

Grasping onto her side, she groaned when she inspected her bloody hand. Chewie whined, but immediately came to her aid. Desren was close behind him, grabbing her bag. Rey reached for it and shoved it over her head, accepting Chewie's arm before she stumbled down onto the ground.

Finn knelt down at Poe's still body, propping him up on his knees. "Rey…"

"When were you planning on telling me he ran into a sith?"

"Rey, I didn't know!"

Chuckled incredulously, Rey shifted her weight to her other leg and tightened her grip on Chewie. She stared down at Poe's body, barely pulsing with life. "He'll be fine if he's given treatment right away." With that, she started to turn, and Chewie followed her lead, supporting her when she nearly toppled over. Her back to the last two friends she had in the galaxy, Rey stared straight ahead as Chewie guided her toward the hangar lift.

"Rey?" Finn shouted. "I'm sorry, okay?" When she didn't respond, she heard him bark passive orders at a few people about getting Poe to their medics. Finn stomped his way toward her and Chewie, sliding in front and stopped them. "What can I do?"

Rey stared at him, and rolled her eyes when Anakin and Padme surrounded her. Everyone looked to her for directions, and she wanted nothing more than to throw up. "You're the co-general," Rey said, voice monotonous. Raising her brows, she pried herself away from Chewie and limped around everyone, accepting Des' hand when he slipped it in hers. Turning back to Finn, she sighed. "I suggest you lead until Poe wakes up."

"We have to talk! I can't do this alone."

Rey scoffed, an anguished laugh leaving her throat. "You're not the one who's alone!" Desren moved closer to her, and Rey tightened her hand, clinging onto him for dear life. "We'll speak later."

**\- - - - - - - - - - - - -**

"You can't leave me behind, Rey!" Desren pleaded, tugging on the long sleeve of the oversized black shirt swallowing her body.

Rey gathered the fabric at her back and tied it, so that it fit her form better. The old mended seam holding the fraying hole in the thick shirt barely resisted the boy's strength. She knelt down, better now that she'd received minimal medical care, and stroked Desren's face with a soft smile. "Get my clothes washed, and when you're done, Chewie will keep you company."

Chewie grumbled, but Rey chose to ignore the Wookie.

Desren folded his arms over his chest and looked down at his shoes. "I want to go with you! I don't understand him…"

Rey's features dipped. "I'll be back before it's dark, Des." Standing up, she took his chin in her palm and brushed his face tenderly. "If not Chewie, you're familiar with Padme. Stay with either of them, and do not leave their sights."

Pulling her damp hair into her three tight signature stacked buns, Rey adjusted the belt at her hips. The dark brown pants were looser than she preferred, but she only owned one full outfit and a shirt now that Luke's home was destroyed. A sliver of her stomach was exposed, the feel of air hitting the area with an unfamiliar caress that only added to her anxiety.

She'd never worn this shirt before. Rey honestly didn't know why she even kept it beyond the fact that it was the only thing in the whole galaxy that proved to her the Ben Solo ever existed. Kylo Ren's lightsaber pronounced the darkest part of his life, but it was with him she'd spent the most time with.

Clearing her throat, Rey looked to Chewie and reached for his arm. "When the Falcon is operational, what say we head off and find ourselves an adventure?"

Chewie bowed his head, looking between her and Desren, grumbling, "What about the Resistance? Finn and Poe are hardly going to like you taking off again."

"The Resistance...anyone I get close with, really, is in danger when I'm around. It'll only get worse." Rey shook her head and ruffled with Desren's hair.

"That," Maz Kanata said, interrupting the rest of Rey's thoughts, "is about the worst thing you could do right now." Maz walked into the medbay. Behind her were Padme and Anakin. The two of them were holding hands. Rey dropped her eyes back to Maz. "Running away never helped Luke Skywalker. It certainly would be a great tragedy for you, too, to be isolated from those who need you the most."

Rey dropped Desren's hands and turned her back to Maz, shuffling around in her bag and pretending to be busy. "They all want things I cannot give."

Maz stepped closer toward her, but stayed back a bit. "So don't teach the next generation of Jedi. Don't follow in Leia's steps and take leadership of the Resistance," she said, noticing when Rey tensed at the mention of their fallen general. "Just don't run."

"You know what I am, Maz…"

"Child, I know what you are not. Only you know who you are."

Rey looked up at the ceiling. Crying was all she'd done the last several days as the final pieces of a life she'd tasted slipped away from her. She wouldn't do it anymore today.

Desren moved between her and Maz. "You're upsetting her!"

"Chewie, take Des and keep him away from Finn." Rey fisted her hands on the table she leaned on.

When Chewie growled, Padme moved to Desren and knelt down. "Come with me. I'll take you to my favorite places and show you around Theed."

"No, he must stay hidden when I'm not around." Rey looked to Chewie. "Just go." With one last whine, Chewie threw Desren over his shoulder. The boy shouted for Rey, but she did little in response, waiting for his cries to die down. Turning around, Rey sat back on the table behind her, clutching the sleeves of Ben's shirt. Shaking her head, she met Maz's watchful stare. "I don't know who I am.."

Maz closed the distance between them, reaching for Rey's hands. "But you do, Rey. You only need to listen."

"Listen?" Rey scrunched her brows together. "To what? Another dead Jedi?"

Maz sighed. "So who's the boy? You're awfully protective of him."

"I found him while chasing a lead from Luke."

"Chasing a lead?" Anakin asked, arms crossing as he stepped forward. "What lead?"

Rey shook her head. "Not him," she retorted. "A Kyber crystal on Tatooine. Des heard the call, too, and he went to the cave Luke sent me to inspect. He followed me in, and pleaded for me to give it to him, so he could buy his and his sister's freedom. I haven't heard from Luke since."

"What happened after?" Padme brushed her hair back and looked to Anakin.

"I traded the ship I claimed before I left the Resistance for him and Asa, his older sister. I thought that the boy was somehow linked to me in some way. Why else would a Force sensitive child be at the exact place Luke Skywalker had guided me to? His sister isn't Force sensitive. She's just stubborn. She ran back to the slavers. Apparently she was in love with one of them. She left Desren in my care, and I haven't heard from her since, either."

"Why would Luke have you chase kyber crystals if you had no intention on rebuilding the Jedi Order?" Maz asked. "How many do you have?"

Rey looked at the exit, sighing. "I want to be alone for now."

"Answer my question, child."

Rey withdrew her hands from Maz's and packed the bag up. "I have three with me, but I know the general location of another two. I was supposed to go after them, but I traded my only means of transport." Rey looked down to Maz. "Des carries the one from Tatooine."

"Rey, you must tell Finn and Poe about all this. Finn has yet to understand what the full weight of the Force means."

Swallowing, Rey dropped her eyes and bit her bottom lip. "I will talk to them, but I won't teach anyone. Especially now that I know what I am."

"Rey," Maz murmured. Sighing, she shook her head and looked back at Anakin and Padme before returning to glance at Rey. "I'm not sure I understand what happened, but Ben died to save your life."

Rey's eyes heated up, pooling with liquid fire. "Don't say his name."

"He was there when Maul fought you when you were tangled in Poe's mind," Anakin said. "You didn't take his bait, though. You put your saber through him."

The bag weighed too much to carry right now if she wanted to have the advantage of speed. With haste, Rey zig zagged past them and rushed out into the hall, fleeing back toward the hangar where she could claim a speeder or single man ship and put as much distance between her and the rest of the galaxy, if that were possible.

Once she got to the hangar, Rey's eyes targeted the first ship she could find, a small transport ship. Closing the door behind her, she easily guided the craft out of the base and for the first time, she marveled in the splendors of Naboo. Looking to her right at the co-pilot's chair, she inhaled and sped off away from the city.

* * *

**Consider leaving your thoughts in the form of a review before you leave. :)**


	4. Concealed Passion

**Author's Note:** I cried writing this. Please enjoy. I'm not sure when the next update will be. Maybe tomorrow. Possibly after Christmas. We'll see what happens next soon in either case!

Enjoy!

* * *

**CHAPTER 4**

_Naboo_

_REY_

* * *

By the time she realized her fuel had barely enough to return back to Theed, Rey reached a lake bordered by a large pastured, vibrant green field and waterfalls spanning along the opposite side where she'd landed. Stretching higher than the curtain of falling water were mountains: blue in color and hidden by low clouds and cloaked behind a thin layer of mist. Although the splendor was not lost on Rey, the vivacity and tones still lacked a depth she knew they had.

The galaxy was coated in a thick hood of grays and dull browns. Tatooine had very little beyond the distorted color palette, but witnessing a beauty she'd never again see in all her life made her heart drop to her toes. It had been almost two years since she last addressed Ben aloud. Of course, it had always been quite fruitless when the only Force ghost she desired to hear or see wasn't ever there.

"Did you ever see this place, Ben?" Rey whispered, tucking a stray piece of hair around her ear. She closed in toward the water's edge and examined the glorious horizon, holding her hand to shield stray mist from her eyes. Stepping on a stone large enough for her to land on, Rey hopped along to a small plot of land, hardly an island for its lack of size.

Mist gently stuck to her skin. The cool kisses eased the pain in her chest. Her life on Jakku had predominantly centered around her family coming back for her. One day. The more that time had passed, the less she'd remembered her family. With each year, she could pretend her straight nose had been passed down by her mother, who was always a kind, gentle woman who wanted nothing more than to hold Rey.

While her grandfather had demanded all the power in the galaxy, Rey had only begged for one thing in her whole life. Family. The Force had granted her grandfather's desires. And more. Now that she knew her roots, Rey knew that the Force would never give her a family. She was the heir of a legacy of death, pain, and violence. If she never reproduced, the Palpatine line would die with her.

Maybe that's why she'd been fated to grow up alone. At least she was equipped to live on alone, though for how long was still a mystery. Eventually those who needed her would settle down and find their own chapter's end.

And now some preceding the Empire were alive. Generations of mistakes fell on her shoulders, and Rey didn't know what to do first, if anything. They'd been allowed to live their lives. It seemed she never had that luxury. Everyone was gone, and now that at least a sith was after her, she knew others would die.

Inevitably.

Might this have been how Ben Solo felt about his family's legacy? When they first met, he'd seemed proud of it. But now? Maybe he'd fooled her then. The pressure amounted to the weight of several dozens of planets resting on her shoulders. Rey wasn't sure how she'd live under it all.

Clearing her throat, she smiled. "If this wasn't the most exquisite sight you saw, then what was?" She tried to will the pesky tears away, but the Force wouldn't grant her this small mercy, either. Maybe one day, she could use the Force to retrace his every step, to walk where he once did. Perhaps he stood where she was years ago, and, somewhere across two different spaces and times, they were together.

Rey closed her eyes, lifting her chin. The words almost didn't form over her tongue when she whispered, "Be with me." Repeating the words, the bassy roar of the waterfalls blended into a canvas of sounds that painted the scenery in her mind. Searching the memory of the place, Rey kept up her quiet chant. Echoey laughter etched another layer in the colors of the past. There was once a moment of great and terrible love here. Although she couldn't see it, the feelings lifted from the memory and eroded the pain guarding her heart.

Leaning her head back, she stood on the small island and succumbed to the elements around her, feeling small fibers of mist drenching her skin. The lump in her throat eased, and she relaxed her shoulders. All tension drained from her like it evaporated up with the rain. Someday, it would pour down over her, but, for now, she was at peace. Exposing her palms upward, Rey brought her hands up, closing around the moisture that landed delicately on them. The contact was more intimate and vulnerable than it should have been. The invisible drops of water in her grasp cooled her skin, sending a shockwave of bumps across her body.

In some way, Ben was here.

This was the Force she loved. Tranquility invigorated her tired, broken heart, settling over like a thick blanket around her. The Force spliced out a space where she felt safe and complete. Wind gusted from her right until it swirled around her, and she gasped. It was a frenzied barrier cocooning her from the rest of the galaxy.

Three years. Three hard, long, and agonizing years later, Rey felt Ben again. She didn't need to hear him, nor did she need to see him, to know it. His energy radiated love, warmth, and protection. Everything a family was supposed to be.

"Be with me," she said, the words barely audible.

The wind swirled around one last time before moving around the large rock at the island's center. Rey opened her eyes and chased it, unwilling to part from him so soon. Rounding the boulder, she placed her hand on the mossy surface and stretched her neck. Looking down, she stepped over a protruding rock on the ground in front of her and rushed around until she paused.

Ben stood at the edge of another small island in the lake's center. He wasn't translucent; instead, he was solid. He wore differing shades of brown and gray, his outfit matching the style of those whom she'd seen back in Theed: what very little she'd seen. The wind shot directly at him, dancing around him a few times before it left them. The noises of reality slipped past what traces of the memory she'd found in the Force were left in an instant. Chest heaving, Ben stepped toward the water, but Rey held out her hand.

"Are you real?" Rey said, her voice only loud enough to carry over to the other side. If this was a vision or a dream, she knew he'd leave before she reached him. There was so much to say, and she didn't know how much time they had.

Ben's features twitched with a raw intensity she'd seen before. Typically it had been reserved for when they fought. The difference was that his eyes were too glassy to think he meant her harm. Biting his lip, he hopped into the water, which was only hip-deep for him, and ran toward her.

Rey never stopped looking at him, fearing if she did, he'd fade away. Dropping into the lake, she yelped as the fierce sting of cold water shocked her body. The water hit her waist, but she used the Force to match his own approach toward her. Ben got to her first, pulling her toward him and lowering his mouth to hers.

The texture of his mouth, paired with the intense heat of his palm on her neck and jaw, tickled a pleasurable moan from her throat, circumstance she'd never before experienced. Before she could speak, he drowned out her thoughts when he growled against her mouth.

Tears trickled down both their faces, but she was transfixed on how his arms molded around her back. His body was so hot, Rey didn't know why her own body was shivering so much. When she needed to breathe, she opened her mouth, but he instinctively slid his tongue in her mouth, taking every advantage of her open mouth while he could. Straightening her spine, she grabbed his hair and tangled her fingers in his wild mane to keep him right where he was. He used his strength to push against her, and she leaned back to accommodate the pinching where their mouths were joined. Leaning over her, she tentatively mirrored his frenzied tongue sliding in, around, and out of her mouth.

A network of mines exploded all at once across her skin, making her tremble as she accommodated him, wanting everything he hungered to give her. Eclipsing anything she'd ever needed to survive, Rey recognized that he devoured her like he wanted to stitch her soul to his with invisible, unyielding thread. While he invaded her senses, Rey pulled back when her head went light.

Shaky fingers followed the length of his hair at the back of his head until the ends, which she pulled a few times gently. Sliding her electrified fingers over his jaw, she stroked his bottom lip with her thumb, not bothering with the tears that slid down her temples and into her hair.

Ben smiled, which warmed her chest until the years of frigid pain thawed. Seeing him smile was infectious, because she mirrored his expansive grin on her own mouth. She pulled herself up against him until their foreheads rested against each other. While she caught her breath, he kissed her jaw, her eyes, her chin, and her nose, busying himself with any stretch of skin he could heat with his mouth. Taking her mouth once more for a brief, chaste kiss, Ben said, "You."

Rey dipped her brows together, head shaking as she searched his eyes. "What?"

Pressing his mouth against hers once more, he leisurely explored her again until he pulled away. "You asked what the most exquisite sight I ever saw." He lowered his head against hers and they stood there, in the middle of a strange, beautiful planet, shivering against each other.

Water all around her pushed them closer together as the wind continued to pick up pace. They stared at each other as mist dampened their skin. Ben seemed at peace to just hold her, touch her anywhere and everywhere he could reach. Rey was more under a spell. Bewitched by him. Swallowing, he lifted her up, and she surrendered to his command, sliding her arms around his shoulders and fitting her face in the crook of his hot neck.

_Don't leave me._

Three years ago, their connection had gone dead. Silent.

_I'm with you._

Wrapping her legs around his hips, Rey sobbed against him as he carried her toward the shore. When the small of her back hit the edge of the lake, He hoisted her up out of the water, leaning over her until she leaned too far back. Rey arched her back, and he slid his palm under her, fingers jittery against her bare skin. Ben hunched over her and placed a slow kiss on the thin strip of her bare stomach.

"Ben…"

Reaching around one of her thighs, he kissed down the rest of her abdomen and up her thigh all the way to her bent knee. Withdrawing his arm from under her, he left her breathless as he stared at her while he guided her legs apart, pulling himself out of the water. He climbed over her until he picked her up with one arm and slid her body back to give him enough room to plant his knees on the mossy, wet ground.

Rey searched his eyes, biting her lip she shivered under him. His drenched shirt dripped more water over her body, making her squirm against him. The only warmth her body generated was at her cheeks and between her thighs. He ground his hips against hers as he took her mouth again. Gasping, Rey threw her head back, her moan louder than she thought she'd be capable of.

"Rey…"

When he murmured her name, his chest touched hers, vibrating between them. Against their soaked shirts, his heartbeat matched hers. Kissing her once more, he climbed from between her legs and around her until he positioned his body to lay in the opposite direction. Turning his head to her, Ben reached for both of her hands, his thumbs warming her shaking fingers. She flattened her thighs against the muddy ground, her legs swallowed by the leg up to the knee. From where he lay upside down from her perspective, he closed his eyes and reached her mouth like he was addicted to her taste.

When he pulled back, his chest heaved, but he kept close to her, his breath tickling her cheek as he said, "I'm with you, Rey."

Tugging her hand from his, Rey played with his hair, and Ben closed his eyes as they rested together in silence for a few moments. She bent her head touch his mouth. Even at their awkward angle, Rey could think of nothing else. All she saw was him. Eventually, she stilled her fingers threaded in his hair, asking, "How did you get here?"

Ben opened his eyes, swallowing. Rey sat up, and Ben followed her lead. She scooted back until she leaned her cheeks against his bent knee. Reaching for her hand, he brought her palm to his mouth. They both readjusted until they recreated how they sat when they shared their first kiss three years ago. This time, though, Rey held onto him like the wind plotted to take him away.

"I woke up in Theed. At first, I couldn't remember what happened last, but I saw my mother's ghost smiling down at me. When she faded away, I tried reaching you through our connection, but I couldn't. I snuck into the Resistance base, thinking you'd be there, but you weren't. I heard you were on your way by eavesdropping on FN…"

"Finn," Rey supplied, brushing hair out of his eyes.

Ben looked away, but she caught his jaw, waiting until he looked at her again. "Sorry…"

Rey shook her head. "We have time to figure it all out, Ben." Placing a kiss on his warm mouth, she gave him a sad smile. "We can take things slow. Work this one day at a time."

Nodding, Ben let his mouth hang open as he searched for something to say. "Anyway, when you landed, too many people were around. I wanted to catch you alone before I'm sentenced to die."

"I won't let anything happen to you." Rey reached around his neck and pulled him toward her. "Not after I just got you back."

Ben grabbed the back of her neck, his mouth shaking and expression vulnerable. "I deserve it, Rey. I should die."

Rey placed the edges of her fingertips on his lips. "Please don't say that."

"You know it's true."

Shaking her head, Rey held him close when he tried to move away. "No! You helped me with Snoke, with Palpatine, and gave your life for me."

Ben tugged her until she straddled his lap. Kissing her again, he cupped her jaw in both his hands, which violently shook. "I'd do it all again. A thousand times, Rey."

"You can't leave me, Ben!" Sobbing, Rey clutched the fabric of his shirt, hands shaking against his chest. "I spent three years without you and almost lost my mind. I love you and need you more than I understand!"

Although tears poured down his face, Ben smiled up at her like he had before he faded. Rey moved her hands to hold his back. She wouldn't let him go again. His mouth hung open, occasionally looking away until his gravity centered on her. "All that I am is yours, Rey."

"Together?"

Ben bent his head until his mouth captured her bare neck, gently sucking on her flesh until she squirmed in his lap. Bowing his head, he positioned them so his forehead rested against her rushing heartbeat. "Always."

After a few moments, he straightened, standing upright and taking her with him. Carrying her toward the ship she'd stolen at her knees and back. He was so gentle with her, and she nearly forgot about the toxic blend of rage and violence that used to poison his dark eyes.

Clasping her hands together around his neck, she stared at him, her fingers playing with the ends of his hair. "Have you met Anakin?"

Ben looked to her, but continued his pace back to the ship. "He's the one who kept me hidden for a few days. He saved them on whatever planet they were overrun on."

"Was that family reunion at least happier than mine?"

Stopping for a second, Ben flattened his mouth in a poor attempt to conceal a soft chuckle. Eventually, he continued his trek. "That shouldn't be funny."

"I've mostly seen your serious look. It's nice to see something else," Rey replied. Looking at the ground, her eyes twitched. "Why are you carrying me?"

"Because I can." Ben's brows dipped, suddenly looking as though he'd made some sort of mistake. "Is this okay?"

Searching his face, Rey leaned into him. He looked at her with a hesitation she'd never seen in him before, even as their mouths touched. However, his eyes sagged closed the longer they explored each other. When she pulled away, Ben's eyes stayed closed, and he swallowed. "I don't know the first thing about...really any sort of relationship. I've never been close with anyone until a droid carrying a map barged into my life."

Ben set her back on the ground, grasping her hands in his strong ones. "I've done too much to perfectly know when I've gone too far," he said. Biting his lip, he shook his head and dropped his hues from hers. "The things I've done or let happen…"

Stepping closer to him, Rey brought the top of his hand to her lips. "Ben, whatever happens, I'm right here. I can't promise things will ever be okay, but if you suffer, I suffer. I won't ever let you go again."

"How can you stomach what I've done to you...let alone my father and everything else you know?"

"Because it's not too late to make things right."

"Rey, I don't know if I'll ever atone for what I've done…"

"It's been three years since I lost you, Ben." Rey flattened her palm over his heart, clutching the fabric there. "When you saved me in place of Snoke, you said one of the only things that still makes sense to me." Her other hand moved over the area where she would have killed him with his own lightsaber. Swallowing, she smiled, a broad extension of the peace and happiness swelling in her chest, accompanying apprehension and anxiety. They stood at the perfect precipice of a future they'd both seen in different parts. Extending her hand to him, she caught his gaze. "Ben, it's time to let old things die. The Sith, the Jedi...All of it."

Ben laughed softly, his breath tickling her skin. "You want me to join you?"

"I want to be with you, Ben."

"What could such an alliance give you?" He smiled, but she sensed conflict beneath his easy expression.

The sound of the falling water spilling over the cliffs caught her attention, though she felt the weight of his heavy stare while she looked away. "For starters, you have skills I do not."

"Skills? Is that it?" Ben reached for her face, and she glanced back up at him. "What kind of skills could you possibly lack?"

"Well, despite apparently being born to be so, I'm a terrible leader. I don't want it. I'm not any good at it."

"You're using me for my leadership skills?" Ben's smile widened, and the conflict eased a bit within his features. "Don't you know how all that turned out?"

"I suppose that will be a story for another time." Rey checked over her shoulder. "We have to go."

When she whipped back around to face him, he slid his palm into hers. "What are we going to do, Rey?"

"I haven't the slightest idea," Rey murmured. "I usually either follow orders or wing it. I have pretty good instincts, I think."

"For the most part…"

Rey drew her head back, trying to claim her hand back, but he wouldn't let her go. "What do you mean for the most part?"

Ben's brow ticked up as he shrugged, walking past her and whirling her around until they walked side by side, hands joined. "I have some notes."

Rey's smile grew. When they reached the ship, she stopped him. "Correct me if I'm wrong, but are we flirting? We're really having a normal conversation?"

Ben tucked a stray lock of her hair around her ear, dipping his mouth to hers one last time. His look was tender, more vulnerable than she'd ever witnessed. "Oh, no. There's really notes." He had the audacity to walk away from her into the ship.

When she scurried after him, she found him in the pilot's seat. "What are you doing?"

"You're not the only one who can pilot a ship."

Rey shook her head. "If you think I'm going to let you fly this ship, you're mad."

Ben stood up, showing her his full height and pulled her close. "You're not flying. Not after I spent all that time in the cargo bin."

"I'm sorry, what?"

"Right, I never finished how I got here." Ben stroked her face and sat back down, hitting all the buttons that made the ship purr with life. "I figured you'd take off after what happened, so while you and Maz talked, I snuck onto this ship. I had plans to follow you here, but you saved me the trouble by choosing the same ship I planned on stealing."

"You were here the whole time? How could I not sense you?" Rey sat down, forgetting about their battle of who-gets-to-pilot-this-craft.

"I'm honestly not sure."

"Why didn't you just come out?"

Ben sighed, steering the ship back toward Theed. Eventually, he stared back at her. "I occasionally like making big entrances…"

The further away they flew from the lake, the less confident Rey felt about their next steps. She spent a lot of time looking at Naboo's scenic wonder. It was a world of bold beauty, and she almost resented the galaxy for keeping its splendor a secret from her for so long. She sank into the co-pilot seat and studied the landscape, hoping a plan would manifest in her mind along the way.

_What are you thinking about?_

Swallowing, she closed her eyes, enjoying the hum lulling across her mind. The feel of him in her mind was unlike anything she'd ever experienced. It took three years for her to almost forget what it felt like.

Rey didn't look at him. Instead, she thought, _What are we going to do when you show your face at a Resistance base?_

_Whatever happens, you know I'm with you, right?_

Rey sighed, finally looking toward him. "I know."

* * *

**Consider leaving your thoughts in the form of a review before you leave. :)**


	5. The Last Bloom

**Author's Note:** A lot of tension this chapter....it came out rather quick. I usually don't write this fast. Expect the next updates after Christmas. There's a small chance I will write tomorrow. I want to see this story through, too! I need it all now! Writing as fast as I can! Thanks. :)

Enjoy!

* * *

**CHAPTER 5**

_Naboo_

_REY_

* * *

“Finn?” Rey said over their private channel via the receiver she still held onto. “Please tell me you can hear me…”

“Rey!” Static cut through, distorting a few of his words until he was clear again. “...have you been?”

Leaning into the receiver, Rey waved back at Ben, who hit his foot while trying to get back into the cargo bin. Widening her eyes and flaring her nostrils, she felt her lip twitch when he just shrugged.

“I’m not as compact as you,” Ben hissed, his compromise between whispering and shouting.

Rey held a finger to her mouth and turned around as he fell back into the bin. She pressed the button to seal the doors before she could make out what else he said. They were following his plan, and yet he was the one not staying quiet! “Impossible…” she grumbled, tinkering with a few more buttons to make their landing smoothe. 

“Rey? You there?”

Sighing, the scavenger calmed her heart rate by taking a few deep breaths. There were a thousand ways this plan could fail. Only few existed where keeping Ben alive and free to walk around was remotely possible. Bringing the receiver to her mouth, Rey nodded once. She could do this. “I’m approaching the hangar.

“We got you on our scans. You’re cleared for landing. I’m sending Anakin to get you. We’re having an emergency meeting about what we’re going to do.” Rey heard voices busied in the background and shuffling feet. “Rey, I need you here. Tell me we’ll set aside what differences we have. Without Poe, I feel like the galaxy is shrinking.”

Swallowing, Rey dipped her head as she descended into the hangar. “Is Desren alright?”

“He’s here with Padme. Chewie almost had a meltdown. Who knew he wasn’t so good with kids.”

The corner of her mouth ticked as a small chuckle vibrated around her throat. “He’s a handful.” 

Landing with ease, Rey turned the ship off and ignored Ben in the cargo bin, exactly as he instructed. _Please be careful_.

_The plan will work._

The exhausts for the ship’s ramp hissed and whined as it descended. Rey walked out of the craft, immediately seeing Anakin at the far end of the hangar, his hands joined in front of him. The man’s body was drenched in a thick, dark brown cloak that made Rey’s shoulder tense. Why would any Jedi want to restrict themselves the way they did? Kylo Ren’s garb included a rather dramatic black cloak among other heavy articles that pieced together his look. Traveling light had always been the only way that had worked for her. Tugging at Ben’s shirt collar, the scavenger felt around her waist for her lightsaber, sighing and relaxing when she felt it clipped at her side.

The walk toward the redeemed sith felt longer than it was. The further away from Ben she tread, Rey’s nerves invaded each cell in her body, carried like cargo around her bloodstream until she had to bite down to keep her jaw from trembling.

“Ease up.” Anakin moved his arms until his hands joined at his back as he turned to match her quick pace. Two Resistance guards trailed behind them. Without turning toward them, he casually said, “You will go check on the progress of the Falcon and leave us.”

Unanimously, Rey heard the two guards say, “I will go check on the progress of the Falcon and leave you.” 

Stopping, Rey turned around and quirked her brow as she studied him. Anakin’s mouth tugged. A mischievous smirk spread up all the way up to his ocean-colored eyes. “We need to talk privately,” he said, eyes looking back at the ship she left. 

“You shouldn’t do that on people on the same side.” Anakin’s pace was slow. Rey’s body felt like it would burst in response to the frenzy and adrenaline. Biting her thumbnail, Rey stopped when she paced too far in front of him. “How can you walk so slow at a time like this?”

“You lack patience.”

His voice was monotonous, nowhere near as inflicting as Ben’s. This man wasn’t his father, but even though a generation separated them, Rey couldn’t help trying to draw comparisons. This was the man Kylo Ren had once idolized in a way. She’d seen it when he invaded her head.

“Thanks for proving me right.”

Anakin’s smirk widened. “What?”

“All Skywalker men are infuriating.”

Anakin picked up his pace only by a little. Rey sighed and did her best to match his compromise until they reached a lift, passing the medbay where she’d rushed out of hours ago. The lift whirred to life as he indicated where they needed to go.

“Padme and I have our own plan,” he said, checking down and moving a piece of his cloak out of the way to reveal Luke and Leia’s sabers on his belt.

Rey’s body shook. “Do they have the books?”

“Maz and I took what we could before guards came for you. They weren’t happy to find you missing so soon after arriving.”

“That bag is all I own in the entire galaxy,” Rey mused, eyes narrowing. Swallowing, she shook her head. “The three of us used to be so close. It’s hard to imagine the rift that’s grown between us.”

“You did leave the fate of the galaxy in the hands of a defected Stormtrooper and spice runner.”

“The Force chose to throw the fate of the galaxy in a scavenger’s hands.” Rey shook her head and inhaled as the lift rocked to a stop. The doors opened, and she waited for Anakin to lead them out. Walking by his side, Rey flexed her hands. “The Force always leads me away from the Resistance in one way or another. First by setting off to find Luke Skywalker, then by training to be something I’d never actually be. Until five days ago, my life was mostly filled with chasing ghosts.”

“They’ve lost sight of what the Resistance or the Rebels should be,” Anakin said after a while. They made their final approach to a door at the end of a long hallway. “It doesn’t take a skilled Jedi to feel the disorder and unbalance in the Force.”

The door opened before she could reply. Rey stepped in after Anakin, who returned to Padme’s side at once. The two of them shared a look that felt too intimate for Rey to witness, so she looked down to find Desren. When he saw her, his features lit up, and he raced to her at once. The scavenger knelt down and wrapped her arms around the boy, closing her eyes. A part of the Force buzzed the longer they hugged, and she swore she felt Luke’s presence in this boy.

“You returned before night!” Desren’s hand busied as he moved the Kyber crystal between his fingers. He was a quiet boy, so he surprised her when he shouted.

“I told you I would.” Rey chuckled, stroking his light hair and meeting his hues. “Of course I returned.”

“Rey!” Finn rushed around the circular table in the room’s center, arms extended. Rey stood up, reluctantly returning the tight hug. He pulled back and pointed to a holographic scan of the galaxy. A few planets were colored in orange against the blue glow. “We’ve identified a few planets where Maul could be hiding.”

Rey disentangled her eyes from him and focused on the map until she noticed a few people she didn’t recognize also in the room with them. “We should speak alone, Finn.”

“Every person in this room is either the highest-ranking members of the Resistance or people who are key to helping cut down Maul,” Finn explained, reaching for her hand. Folding his hand in hers, he nodded. “We’re good, Rey.”

Slipping her hand from his, Rey stepped back. “Then I want to speak with you around people I know and trust. That’s you, Padme, Anakin, and Des.”

An older, finely dressed woman joined her hands together, stepping toward them. “General, I don’t think it’s wise to keep the rest of us out of the conversation. If we’re to strike, we should do so sooner than later to keep our favorable advantage.”

“Favorable advantage?” Rey repeated, glaring at Finn. “Are you planning a war?”

Finn’s eyes were glassy, full of consuming emotion she could not fully identify in the short time between him staring down at her and saying, “Leave us.”

“Sir, I implore you…”

Finn turned around and raised his voice. “I said leave us.”

The others complied, though reluctantly. They each took their time moving toward the automatic door, giving Finn time to change his mind if he so wished. Rey had little time for politics. It was only a game of manipulation, power, and personal gain. People across the galaxy starved, were forced into slavery, and tried to repair all they lost between two galactic wars. Both sides of the war had devastated life across all systems. People had lost a myriad of precious life: a son, a father, a mother, a sister. Not a Stormtrooper or an officer in the Resistance. Bile rose in Rey’s throat, but she quickly shifted her attention back on Finn, who’d asked her something she’d missed in her reverie.

“What?” she asked.

Finn shook his head, crossing his arms over his chest. “They’re gone. So talk.”

“How’s Poe?”

“Stable,” Finn said, eyes narrowing. “He seemed so normal the last few days. I don’t know when anyone had the time to catch him alone and mess with his head like that. He’s usually surrounded by at least a few people. We’ve had no casualties the last few weeks, too.”

Rey placed her palm on the edge of his shoulder. “I’ll show you the Force, Finn...if only to help protect others.”

Finn searched her eyes, reaching for her hand. “Rey, we’re together now. We can start a new Jedi Order and restore order in the galaxy. I’ve found seven Force sensitive kids. They’re here! You have the books...it’s all coming together like it’s meant to be!”

Rey’s eyes sharpened, brimming with hot tears she managed to keep at bay. Bringing him in her arms, she pulled him close and leaned her head against his, eyes searching the holographic map. “The Jedi Order is dead, Finn.”

Finn tensed, pushing her away, so he could meet her eyes. He moved his hand to her face. When he got too close, she drew her head back but stayed close to him. His brows wobbled up and down as his features moved through an array of emotions. “Rey, there are more Force users out there who are just as confused as you were...and as I still am,” Finn whispered. “There are several out there who mean to kill us. They use the dark side of the Force! We only have a revived, redeemed sith, you, and me. I don’t know the first thing about using it! We’re running out of time!”

Rey stepped back. “We have nothing but time, Finn! The Empire and the First Order have been successfully taken down. We’re left with the pieces and fallout, but we have time!”

“Rey, if we don’t go after Maul, who knows what he’ll do if we continue sitting and doing nothing to keep him away from moving supporters to his side.”

Rey curled her fists and moved them onto her temples. “If we go into another war, there won’t be another chance to stop another group from taking power!”

“What do you know of war, Rey?”

“Nothing.” Dropping her fists by her sides, Rey shrugged. “I’m just a scavenger from Jakku.”

“Look, I’ve learned a lot in the three years co-leading this Resistance. I’m not as good with all of this as Poe, but I know that I was there for all of Leia’s plans and you weren’t.”

Rey snapped her head back as if he’d struck her. Inhaling, she hung her mouth open. “I was training with Leia! I was hardly on vacation…”

“We needed you, Rey! And at every turn, you ignored us and went off on your own to go against Ren.”

“His name is Ben!” Rey stepped toward Finn, who stepped back. “I’m so tired of apologizing for things that have always been out of my control.” Finn’s lips parted to speak, but she narrowed her eyes and continued her pursuit until his legs hit a control station. “I told you everything, Finn. You said we’d keep it a secret because others wouldn’t understand! We lied because you said it was easier than the truth.”

“It is easier than trying to convince the entire galaxy that the Supreme Leader Kylo Ren had turned back to the Light.” Finn reached for her, but she evaded his touch. He balled his hands and groaned. “Rey, it’s always been us! Whether we’re on the run from the First Order or fighting against a madman from the past, we’ve always been on the same side!”

Rey’s lip trembled, her thoughts unlocking the words always left unspoken between them. Eyes twitching, she looked down at her boots and grabbed her elbow with her opposite hand. “That’s not the whole truth, is it?” Bringing her gaze back to him, she sighed. “He didn’t just turn back to the Light, did he?”

Finn’s features faltered, but he regained his composure rather quickly, head shaking and swallowing to shove forbidden words back down his throat. “H-He saved your life.”

“The lies end here, Finn.” Rey reached for his hand, resting it at the side of her head. She nodded once, her eyes searching his. Covering the back of his hand in hers, she slowly closed her eyes, pulling the final moments when she’d fought alongside Ben, how Palpatine stole their life away from them as he fed on their entangled power, and how Rey stood, alone, with all the generations of the Jedi in her soul and ended Palpatine’s life once and for all. The last time she showed him what happened, her mind tangled with his, and she felt the stirrings of private memories and the feelings attached. 

Feelings she would never reciprocate. 

Rey had spared him then. He was her friend, and she’d barely lost the love of her life in an instant. She wasn’t ready to bear any other emotional turmoil. The other half of her was barely cold and gone. Finn saw as Ben healed her, but this time, she didn’t make an attempt to botch the memory. 

Ben stared at her, hesitation and conflict twisting and braiding until Rey silenced the galaxy out. For a moment, it was just them left in a world of their own. The Force danced and sang around them as he returned her affection, allowing himself to break as she had before he offered her the world as Kylo Ren. He was Ben, and he was hers. 

Rey was his. Completely, and finally whole.

When she pulled away, Ben’s smile broke down any final barrier guarding her heart. They would figure this mess out, and she would stand beside him with whatever happens. Flashes of the life their connection had shown to her when they’d first touched their bare hands together tangled with her thoughts. Rey needed only Ben. Her life belonged to the Force. It had granted her her only desire.

The Force buzzed in response to the overwhelming Light surrounding them. Until the dream faded away, slipping through her hands. Where color once highlighted the galaxy, Rey’s eyes adjusted to a world darker than she’d ever recognized. A world with only shadows.

Rey had stayed on her knees, begging the Force to bring him back, but any attempt to bargain had been useless. All that was left for her in this incomplete life was a dirty, frayed black shirt and pants. She was alone until Finn and Poe found her: the image of falsified peace. 

Ben had given his life for hers. The Force had failed her, but Rey couldn’t lose control. She wouldn’t fail Ben’s sacrifice. So, she vowed to live on as best she could. There was no life without Ben, only an empty existence. Lying about what really happened felt like a betrayal, so when all the lies crushed her, she asked the Light for guidance. Luke answered, and she learned to live half a life. 

Because her other half was dead. Silent.

“No!” Finn shoved her away from him, keeping his hands between them. His dark eyes went wild, tears spilling, though he wiped them away as soon as they fell. Like she wasn’t worthy enough to see them. “He’s a monster!” Lip trembling, Finn shook his head. The way he looked at her made her feel unclean, so she grabbed her wrist and stepped back. “How?” Rushing to her, he grabbed her by the hair, and she stood there, complying with the violence charging his eyes. His chest expanded and deflated rapidly. Finally, he shouted, “Why?”

“We were tethered. We have a connection that bridged our mind together.”

Finn let her go, shoving her away and turning around. He joined his hands behind his hand as he willed himself to calm down, easing in a few deep breaths in between his quiet sobs.

Rey lowered her head and slowly walked to stand beside him. The view from the window along the wall of terminals stole her breath away. Swallowing, she shook her head. “Please don’t start a new war. You don’t know what it’s like out there. Not while you stand floors above the rest of the world with a view like this.”

“Rey, what choice do we have?” Finn replied, choosing to follow her change in subject. Neither of them could afford to have such a heavy distraction right now. They needed to deal with it, but there was a time and place for all that. “Poe and I have spent the last three years securing the right alliances. Most of the First Order sympathizers have decided to comply with us for now, but you know they’ll turn on us at the first sign of dissent.”

“I hate politics.” Rey checked on Finn. “Finn, it wasn’t just the Resistance who lost people. Both sides have continued to suffer catastrophic losses. We have to mend the galaxy without leaving anyone behind. Leave Maul to me, and focus on healing the future. We’ll both have help.”

“What if we just end up in another galactic war? What if this doesn’t work?”

“War hasn’t worked up till now,” Rey argued. “If we go into battle now, then losing Han, Luke, and Leia as well as the many destroyed worlds means nothing.”

Finn looked at her, sadness blurring his usually warm eyes. “How did things get so bad?”

“It might get worse before it gets better…” Rey hit her shoulder against his. “Make me a promise.”

Finn sighed, sniffing and rubbing his face. “What now?”

“I’ll show you a few things of the Force if…”

“Rey…”

Rey sighed, looking over her shoulder at Anakin and Padme, saying, “...if you don’t get mad.”

“Mad about what, Rey?”

Anakin reached for his belt, withdrawing Leia’s saber just as the automatic door rushed open. Sharing a look with his grandson, Anakin held out the saber to Ben, who called the lightsaber to him. “We’ll need all the help we can get going forward.”

Ben’s eyes gravitated to Rey, who swallowed down a smile as he slid the saber on his hip. Slowly, he raised his hands up, disengaging from Rey to look at Finn. Taking a deep breath, he stepped further into the room. “Hello.”

Finn’s eyes narrowed, lethal, but he turned his attention to Rey. “How could you bring him here?”

“He’s here to help, Finn. Just like Anakin and Padme.”

“Did you know about this?”

“I’m not sleuthy enough to arrange a surprise as massive as this.” Rey held out her hands as if the gesture alone would instill peace between them.

“It is in your blood...” Finn spat, the words striking her down and cutting deeper than he’d ever gone.

“Enough!” Ben rushed between them and grabbed Finn, whose blaster fell out of his hands in the process. He wasn’t fast enough. “You have no idea what you’re talking about.” 

Rey moved to Ben, touching his hand. Ben immediately relaxed, tearing his attention from Finn to her...seeing her tears. “It’s alright. There’s no point in lying anymore.” Shrugging, the scavenger shook her head and folded her fingers in his large hand. “I know what I am. I can sooner change the fabric of my blood than Ben can wash away all the blood on his hands.”

Rey kissed Ben’s fingertips, looking at him briefly before scrutinizing Finn again. “I may be Rey Palpatine, but I choose to be Rey, a lone scavenger from Jakku, a girl from nowhere who stumbled into a story best left alone.” When Finn reached for her, she skirted around him. “I’ve had very little opportunity to choose anything, but that’s my choice! You don’t have to accept any of this. You don’t even have to like it, but you must know that whatever happens to Ben seals my fate, too. If you sentence him to death, know you will have to look me in the eyes when you kill me, too.”

Desren rushed around the table, grabbing Finn’s blaster, and tugged on Rey’s arm. “No! You can’t leave me!” He shoved Finn, pointing the blaster at Finn. “You can’t take her!”

Rey knelt down, abandoning Ben’s hand for the moment, and looked up at Desren. “What’s the first rule of survival, Des?”

Desren shoved his crumpled mouth to the side, eyeing her reluctantly and sighing. Handing her the blaster to Rey, who set it on the table to their side. “Know when to fight…”

Rey stood up, looking only at Finn. “Exactly.”

Finn shook under her watch, turmoil rattling under his skin and begging to be unleashed. However, her friend swallowed and looked at Anakin and Padme. “For now, we redirect the council to repairing the Falcon. We’ll work out the details once Poe wakes and the ship is good to go, but I promise you the Falcon’s yours. You will find either information on Maul or the sith himself and deal with him.”

Rey stepped toward him and reached for his chin. “Thank you.”

* * *

**Consider leaving your thoughts in the form of a review before you leave. :)**


	6. Pulled Apart

**Author's Note:** A lot of moving parts, but I actually had a lot of fun writing this chapter! See you after Christmas! 

Enjoy!

* * *

**CHAPTER 6**

_Naboo_

_REY_

* * *

The Falcon quickly grew into Rey’s personal eyesore, a reminder that, so quickly, all traces of someone’s life could be obliterated. Forgotten. Han was one of the only people she could not coax out of whatever afterlife Force users went to. Most of them waited around to haunt her when she least needed them around. They were more like pests, but at least they kept her company when others could not.

Poe woke the day after Rey’s return, mostly back in top shape with the exception of a limp in his right leg. Those in the medbay said it would go away rather quickly. For the most part, Finn and Poe avoided her. Both had placed their own watches on her, detailing her every move. 

It only took less than a day for her skin to itch enough for her to go stir crazy. Rey had sent four people charged with the repairs away. It would take too long for her to restore it alone, but was it so much to ask that only the best Resistance mechanics and operators touched it? 

Rey had commissioned a tailor via Padme’s contacts to replicate the tan-white rags turned attire. It was a good thing, too. Grease stains drenched and blackened her freshly cleaned garb hours ago. Now it looked worse for wear.

Wiping her hands on her hips again, she tossed aside a tool and held her hand out to the toolbox, sending it flying out of the ship. Rey heard two shrieks, but all she focused on was racing out of the Falcon in search of the proper tools. When she was out in the hangar, she hopped over all the scattered tools and clutched someone’s collar. “Who messed around with all the tools? I explicitly categorized all the tools by function and part of the ship, so we wouldn't have to waste time finding tools!” 

Rey let go of the man’s collar. Instead of answering, he shouted and ran off. She groaned, shouting as she expertly swiped out the various tools and parts she needed. Chewie grumbled from up on the top of the ship, and Rey stopped her own search to fiddle around in the various tool boxes scattered around the area. Locating what Chewie needed, she tossed it back, knowing Chewie would catch it and continue with his work.

“Maybe you should lighten up,” the Wookie grumbled.

Whipping around, she stomped closer toward the ship, glaring up at him, pointing at him with a wrench she didn’t need. “Tell me to lighten up one more time, and see what happens!”

Chewie howled, stopping what he was doing to say, “I could eat you if I really wanted to!”

“Oh, yeah?” Rey balled her hands on her hips and huffed. “I can cook you with Force lightning!”

Chewie whined.

“The one time was an accident!” Rey crossed her arms. “You weren’t even on that ship in the first place!” 

The Wookie sat up and turned to her, throwing the tool she tossed up for him back down at her. Rey shielded herself from the attack by guiding the tool away from her before it got remotely close to her.

“Besides, we came after you, didn’t we? You hardly died then…”

Turning around, Rey searched through the tool box again and tossed up another tool before he could ask for it. When he complained she was inside his head, she rolled her eyes. “Your head scares me! I just know how to fix this ship inside and out.”

The Wookie groaned a string of impolite words.

“What do you think I did on Jakku all day growing up?” Chewie continued his rude onslaught, causing Rey to chuckle. “You’re just upset because you know you wouldn’t last more than a few days stranded in the middle of the desert…”

He ended the conversation with another rude phrase, and Rey went back to talking to herself while she rearranged the tools into the proper boxes.

“You’re scaring the other mechanics…” Ben said from the other side of the rolling work table. “A lot like me when…”

Rey scowled. “Don’t even finish that thought.” Wiping her forehead, she stared at the fleeing forms of the other workers. “I could literally kill someone right now...the lot of them are overwhelmingly incompetent.”

“They can’t be that bad…” Anakin added as he walked around Ben.

Footsteps emerged from the Falcon. “Rey! I found this tape on the motivator. Took it off, though!”

Rey’s eyes bulged out of her sockets as she rushed to find various tools as emergency alarms blared from within the ship. “Imbeciles!” Rey shouted, teeth bared. “The lot of you!”

Extending her hand toward the bonding tape splattered on the ground, Rey leapt over the tools, hopping over each one in her way, and rushed to the motivator under the floor of the Falcon. Quickly she spun the bonding tape around and reached her hand out, calling for the pilex driver through the Force, but Ben stepped on it before she could claim it.

“Now’s not the time, Ben,” Rey seethed. The alarms sang around her, almost deafening her. 

Sinking to his knees, Ben reached for the driver and joined hands between his thighs. When she reached for the driver, he held it away. “I’ll trade you a kiss for the driver…”

Rey wiped sweat from her forehead, feeling the grease smear over her skin. “Ben, the Falcon is about to leak poisonous gas everywhere! Beyond that, look at me!” 

Rey reached for the driver again, but he moved it back again. Ben looked completely unaffected by the news. Instead, he fixed his features to adopt a distinct brand of boredom. Leaning back on his ass, he draped his legs over the metal floor duct, sagging his shoulders forward and sighing expectantly. 

“I guess we’re getting poisoned.”

Rey reached for the driver. Ben didn’t lift it away, Instead, he reached for her face and held her steady under his control, stealing a chaste kiss from her as the world slipped away from her. He dropped the driver into her hand and caught both sides of her jaw, holding her to him. 

They deepened the kiss and something started to hiss in the distance. Ben pulled away, and Rey swallowed, eyes closed as she shook her head. The world slowly restored itself to rights, but Ben snapped her out of the spell by saying, “The driver?”

“Right!”

Turning her back to him, Rey fiddled with the tool and tinkered with the positioning until she closed one eye, waiting for the alarms to cut out, which they did. Her breath caught when she turned back around. Ben towered over her, staring down with his dark eyes just like he had the day they destroyed the Final Order. 

Stroking the side of her face, Ben whispered, “Do you feel better?”

She quietly nodded her head, smiling up at him. “I wish I wasn’t covered in grease right now.”

Ben’s brow and one corner of his mouth lifted in unison. The longer she searched his features, Rey knew he thought something scandalous, which made her pull away and clear her throat. “Des is helping Maz scrub parts most of the day.”

“Rey…” Ben said, catching her when she hopped back up to the main level of the ship. “You know you can tell me anything, right?”

The corner of her mouth ticked slightly as she searched his dark, expansive eyes. The bright lights in the Falcon didn’t provide the light necessary to feature the exquisite depth of those eyes. Swallowing, she reached for his chin with edges of her fingertips, her touch ghostlike. Moving to fit between his thighs, Rey smirked when he lowered his mouth to her fingers.

_Three years, you were gone._

Ben claimed her mouth, this kiss urgent, ardently mining her of all she felt for him. Gently biting her pillowy bottom lip, Ben stroked her face where grease would cling to him. They stared at each other while he ravished her, his exploration feeding from the life he’d given her.

Quiet dominance laced with a hybrid of possession and passion as he slipped his tongue in hers. Rey slithered her arms around his neck, and he hauled her body up. She bent her knees, holding him hostage between her legs as she straddled his lap. Tangling her fingers in his loose hair, she pulled back only long enough to capture enough breath to dive deeper in him. Ben wrapped his arms around her, holding her lower back.

The weight of their sins evaporated when she was in his arms. Moans exploded deep within his chest and reverberated between them, the friction squeezing around them. Rey pulled away, lowering her forehead to his shoulder and heaving with him as they just held each other. 

_I may not choose to be Rey Palpatine, but it’s what I am. It doesn’t matter how much I care about Luke and Leia._ Rey exhaled, her nostrils flaring as she cupped his cheek, drawing her head back. Their noses brushed, and she swallowed. “I’ll never be a Skywalker.”

Ben reached for her hand, flattening their palms together. His hand was so much larger than hers. The curve between his index finger and thumb on his dominant hand had a burn scar: possibly from training with his old lightsaber. 

Rey could scale a destroyed starship from the sand to the top. She knew she was strong. Surviving so long on her own with minimal help had also proven her considerable endurance and stamina. Strong willed and resourceful, Rey had learned valuable life skills people in Theed could never dream of knowing. 

Still, studying his hand intimidated her. In only his hand could she see he was built to be a reckoning: Jedi or Sith. It didn’t matter he’d spent nearly his whole life training. His power was inherent. Leia had once said something similar about Rey, but no matter how much she trained, something always held her back. Knowing her heritage now, she knew it had always been her fear of herself and the burden of the lineage she bore.

Folding his fingers over the space between hers, Ben kissed her temple. “Palpatine, Skywalker...maybe we should just take new names…”

Rey blinked a few times, content with just enjoying the rough texture of his jaw. He was here, alive. She almost thought she was dreaming. If she was, Rey prayed to whomever would listen for it to never end. “What names?”

“Just one.” Ben swallowed, looking down at their joined hands. Smiling, he rested his forehead in her neck. “Solo,” he whispered. She moved, so she searched his features, which trembled. “Together, we’re one, Rey.” Pulling back, he squeezed her hand and narrowed his eyes. “We still know so little, but I know that you alone are the gravity of a universe all our own and I love you.” Ben shook against her, a shiver rocking up and down his spine. “The Force and I both know I won’t deserve anything you have to give to me. I’m responsible for so many thousands...maybe even hundreds of thousands…of deaths, but the Force isn’t done with me, yet. I don’t know why I’m back, but I’m here.” Ben dragged her mouth to his and shared a brief, but agonizing and slow kiss. Closing his eyes, he shook his head. “Take my name, and train with me, Rey. We’ll figure everything else out as it happens.”

Ben flashed his eyes open, his grin broadening when he saw hers. Tears burned her eyes, and Rey let them fall. Emotion hardened like a ball in her throat, sticking despite her clearing her throat. Eventually, Rey kissed him. Pulling back, she nodded and whispered, “Ben…”

Through everything they’d shared together since they met in the interrogation room, Rey had never seen such a light in him that blinded her as it did. Ben was warm, radiating a tranquility that sheltered them from the storm raging beyond the barrier.

Taking the ends of his hair between her fingers, Rey laughed. “I never knew I could feel this, Ben.” Capturing her lips, Ben groaned, thumb stroking her jawline. Sighing, she shifted over him, slowly rising to her feet and stumbling as he refused to release her from his grasp. She moved back, thinking it would allow him to gain better footing, but she tripped over her own feet. 

Ben caught her before she fell back too far. He walked backwards, taking her with him until he leaned against the wall. For the first time since entering the ship, Ben looked around the Falcon, the light in his hues dwindling to nothing more than dying embers. Stroking his hair, Rey pressed a gentle kiss at his heart, feeling him envelop her in his strong arms. 

“I don’t know if I’ll ever let my father go…” Sinking down into her, Ben’s face heated the crook of her neck. His hands cradled her back and the back of her head. “It’s exactly as I remember it...like time doesn’t exist here.” Pulling back, he slouched against the wall and brushed part of her hair back. “Where were you last night?”

“I slept here. I needed to keep my hands busy after everything with Finn...worked a little late.”

“I dreamed of the day I killed him last night…” Ben sighed. “Anakin and Padme woke up, and I drew my saber on them until he was able to calm me down.”

Rey kissed his jaw and placed a hand over his pounding heart. “Finn sent someone earlier...he’s given me one of the ambassador suites in the castle. It’s one of several along the same corridor, but apparently this one is a bit annexed. Two rooms, and a balcony overlooking the city.”

“Why do you sound disappointed?”

Rey lifted her brow. “I’ve never had a home...you’d be surprised with how little I need to survive.”

“It’s overwhelming to you.”

“For me? Yes...Des quite likes the glamour of this place more than I thought he would.”

“The boy...he’s quite attached to you,” Ben said. “Do you have plans for him?”

Rey shook her head. “For a while, we’re all the other had. I traded my only means of transport for Desren and Asa, his sister. I think the Force scared her. She never looked comfortable around either of us.” Rey disentangled herself from him and held out her hand as she stepped toward the exit. He took her hand, and they walked out of the ship. “I’ve had little direction since I found him, so I never knew if I was supposed to train him or simply keep him safe.”

Anakin moved from the tools and toward them. “I almost forgot...Padme wanted me to ask if it would be alright with you if Desren slept over tonight. He asked her, but she wanted you to have the final say,” he said. The corner of his mouth lifted. “He is, after all, in your care.”

“He asked?”

Anakin joined his hands behind his back. “Yes, well, Padme got a hold of a book on the history of Naboo. He found it, and she said she’d read it to him in parts where they find time.”

Rey laughed. “Let me guess, he insisted otherwise.”

“Quite persistent, the boy.” Anakin looked down at their joined hands, but quickly flashed his attention to Ben. 

Rey glanced at Ben as well, a low laugh tickling her throat. “He can’t read himself, but he loves books, particularly historical works. Desren’s quite bright. He can’t build or hunt well, but it’s like he can see what happened when you read to him.”

Anakin lifted his brows. “Well, it seems we have a future scholar on our hands.” Sighing, Anakin morphed a tense grin on his features. “It would mean a lot to Padme if he could stay with us while you two get acquainted here.”

Ben’s fingers tightened in Rey’s. “Everything alright?”

“Well, now that the rosey reunion is out our way, Padme needs some space to acclimate to what happened and...what I’ve done since her passing,” Anakin said, the uneasy grin never fading. “I think Desren is a good for us both. Of course with your permission, Rey, Padme wants to hire private tutors to teach him how to read, while I’d like to slowly train him.”

“To be a Jedi?” Rey asked. 

“I know you said the Jedi Order is dead, but until there is clear direction, I think it’s good for me to return to my roots. Find some semblance of normalcy, if you will.”

Ben let go of her hand. “This is something you thought of on your own?”

Anakin chuckled. “Obi-Wan may have sowed the seeds of this idea, but yes, mostly, the idea is my own,” he said. Scanning the roof of the Falcon, the tension in his face waned. “Your Wookie friend may need a bit of help.”

Rey turned, hearing a loud howl. Rolling her eyes, she walked closer to the ship. “Chewie, let’s take a break. I’ve scared everyone else away. We’ll start fresh tomorrow.”

Chewie grumbled.

“I won’t forget!” Rey threw her thumb over her shoulder. “Just go! We’ll start fresh in the morning.” The Wookie began gathering the tools, and Rey turned back to the two of them. 

Ben’s brows raised. “What won’t you forget?”

“Oh,” Rey replied, folding her lips inward and releasing them as she swallowed. Cupping his shoulder, she continued, “We’re going to scavenge a few parts for the Falcon.”

Ben’s eyes bulged, and he caught her by her shoulders. Laughing, he shook his head, saying, “When were you planning on telling me this?”

Rey didn’t hide her growing smile. “Technically, I still need to raise it with Poe and Finn.” Ben glared down at her, and she rolled her eyes. “We’ll be gone only a few days. I know exactly what we’re looking for.”

“Which is what, exactly?”

“A few things, actually,” Rey corrected, looking behind Anakin, who simply watched their exchange with expressive interest. Poe, limping beside Finn, approached them across the opposite side of the large hangar. Rey moved around Anakin and rushed toward the generals. Their guards didn’t stop her from getting close, which gave her hope that the rift cutting their trust could be mended. “Poe! How are you feeling?”

“Better,” Poe answered, hesitant to open his arms to her as she walked closer to him to give him a hug. “I could do without the limp.”

Rey pulled away. “Do you remember anything?”

“No,” he answered, rubbing his hand over his head. “Trust me, I’ve tried. I’m so tired of people getting inside my head.” Rubbing his nose, he looked down at himself. “Thanks for covering me in grease.”

“You’ve looked worse,” Rey pointed out, looking over her shoulder to see Anakin and Ben approaching. Ben kept his distance from them, but she turned back to Poe. “We should talk.”

“That’s why I hobbled all the way down here,” Poe replied. Looking to Finn, he glared at Ben, but ultimately focused on Rey again. “We have a problem.”

“What’s going on?”

“We’ve had several calls for...Ben to stand trial to answer for his and the First Order’s crimes.” Poe looked around them, limping closer to her. “People have even left the Resistance just because he’s here. We’ve lost one of our major donors over this…”

Rey stepped back. “What are you saying?”

“I think now that we have Padme, we can use her influence to calm these people down, reassure them we have this whole operation in order, but…”

Rey looked to Ben, who glared down at the floor. “What, Poe?”

“We need you both gone for at least a few days...ideally a week minimum.” Poe shared a tentative look with Finn. “That should give us enough time to cut this shit in the bud before anything can come from it.”

“I was going to ask for a ship. We need parts for the Falcon. Buying them would be a waste of resources. We’re spending too much time here, when we should be trying to help people in worlds that need help.”

“What did you have in mind?” Finn asked.

Rey sighed. “Slavery on Tatooine, and essentially the same for Jakku. There’s a whole Galactic Empire fleet graveyard that is waiting to be picked apart. We’ll be on Jakku for the parts, but that will only take a few days at most.”

“Worst case scenario, go back to Ahch-To. We’ll stock a ship for enough supplies for three weeks just in case. We can’t risk you needing to come back in the middle of negotiations.”

“I want my things, Poe.”

“Are they really yours when you stole them from Skywalker?”

“I’ll either leave with stolen books or you’ll give them back to me,” Rey retorted. Crossing her arms, she exhaled, nostrils flaring. 

Groaning, Poe waved his hand between them. “Fine!” 

Shooting his eyes back on Ben, Poe grumbled something under his breath, until eventually, he said, “I’m doing this for Leia. Not Rey, and especially not for you. You can change your name and what color of clothes you wear, but to a lot of us, you’ll always be Kylo Ren. You won’t live without knowing the atrocities you and your Order committed.” Poe limped toward Ben, expression dark and unreadable. Stopping once they were almost nose-to-nose, Poe narrowed his eyes. “This isn’t an alliance. You’ll never be a life we prioritize over other Resistance members. You’re bottom rung here.”

Ben was unable to respond. His eyes twitched and glistened over in a thin layer of tears. He swallowed a rough gulp down. 

Rey was about to step between them, but Poe held out his hand. “Think you can live with this arrangement?”

Ben’s body shook. Rey’s features crippled as dark energy swelled in his chest, but somehow, he coaxed a dash of light in through a crack she’d not seen. Ben lowered his eyes to Poe’s hand. Eventually, he took it. 

Poe groaned and withdrew his hand from Ben’s, pivoting on his heels to face Finn, eyes flashing to Rey. “Now that we’re all on the same page, whatever bullshit’s going on between us three stops here. I don’t even want to tap into whatever’s going on with Rey and...Ben, but we have much more important stuff to worry about. We can’t afford to lose touch like Leia, Han, and Luke did.”

Rey’s face hung, mouth open and eyes wide. “Just like that? You’re really not going to push this?”

“This is Leia’s legacy, Rey,” Poe replied, voice tight and eyes dropping to the floor. When he composed himself, he placed a hand on her and Finn’s shoulders. “Part of that legacy is her son. She never lost faith that he’d find his way back to the light. That faith and hope shouldn’t die with her.”

Rey reached for both of them. Sharing a rare, but familiar hug, the three of them, Rey whispered, “Thank you.”

Poe withdrew, though they each shared a small smile between them. Things wouldn’t be resolved right away, but there was comfort in knowing they were each dedicated to keeping their friendship a solid foundation in their lives.

“Rey, when you get back, I’m naming you Lieutenant General of the Resistance. I don’t expect you’ll always stay with us, but no more going years without seeing us. We’ll work out all the Jedi and Force stuff as we go, but for now, you’re the head of our front lines.”

“Poe…”

“Hey,” he said, shrugging. “It’s either that or being assigned to protect the queen.” Rey’s face scrunched, nose wrinkling and mouth diminishing. “Don’t look at me like that,” Poe retorted. Pointing to Anakin, he said, “It worked out for him.”

Anakin chuckled, bringing his hands in front of him. “Mostly.”

Poe shared a look with the Jedi and shook his head. “This is all so weird.”

“Things got weird the moment Hux helped us get to the Falcon.”

Ben growled, reaching for Rey and walking through the men. “We’ll be on our way.”

“You’re not leaving until early tomorrow morning.” Poe looked Rey up and down. “My friend needs to rest and shower. Besides, we need to sit down and chat about a few other things later tonight.”

“What about the Falcon? You can’t possibly leave it in the hands of these people.” Rey’s forehead wrinkled as her brows shot up.

Poe gestured to the ceiling. “That’s all part of things to be discussed later…” Seeking Rey one final time, Poe asked, “Do you know what you’re gonna do with the kid?”

“Desren will stay with us,” Anakin interjected.

Poe regarded her. “Is that true?”

Rey nodded.

Poe gave them a thumbs up. “Cool.”

* * *

**Consider leaving your thoughts in the form of a review before you leave. :)**


	7. Warland's Fury

**Author's Note:** I might shoot my chances at snagging a few more reviews and follows, but Merry Christmas to those who are desperate for more! This is seriously the last chapter before Christmas. LOL.

Feast on this!

* * *

**CHAPTER 7**

_Naboo_

_REY_

* * *

“I so wish we’d had more time to get to know each other before you leave.” Padme’s hair danced along the wind’s current passing Rey’s room. The intricate hair pieces, both ribbon and metal, intricately weaved in and out of the top of her head until her hair freely flowed down her back. Dressed in pale lavender silks gathered in places that best displayed her natural, feminine curves. 

Days ago, the graceful lady had drowned in the rags passing poorly as clothing. Tatooine was not an epicenter of delicate fashion. Unlike Naboo, where clothing mirrored the world’s natural, breathtaking landscapes. Now, Padme was all but nearly unrecognizable from the woman she’d met on Tatooine.

“It’s funny. We spent all that time together, but we hardly spoke.”

Rey finished knotting her hair up in her standard three buns, moving out onto the balcony overlooking the city of Theed. Stark differences easily spoke of their differences. Where she fancied silk, Rey wrapped raglike cloth around her body. Although her garbs clung tight on her body, Rey hated showing excess skin, mostly for the practical and obvious reason that the Jakku sunlight would burn if she weren’t covered. The dress hung rather low in the back.

Had Palpatine not lived, would Rey also waste precious hours of her day tightening her hair around and draped in expensive silks?

“Although only days ago, it feels like so much has happened since then…” Rey reluctantly replied. Wrapping her belt around her waist, she reached for her lightsaber, and it flew into her hand. Sliding the saber safely on her belt, Rey turned to face the other woman. “I hardly know you, but if you’d like to talk...about anything...please don’t feel like you must act a certain way around me.”

Padme drew her brows together and tilted her head. “What certain way?”

“Anakin’s doing his best to hide his emotions.” Rey moved inside the suite and dipped her feet in her boots, tapping her toes against the floor as she fiddled with getting them over her heels.

Padme paced inside, following Rey as she sat on the oversized couch. “I worry about him.”

Rey met her eyes. “I sense no immediate threat in him, but I will keep a close eye out for anything suspicious,” she replied. “I won’t let anything happen to Des.”

“Thank you for letting him stay with us, by the way. The boy needs structure, but he’s so bright. Actually, he reminds me a lot of Ani when he was a boy.”

Rey smirked. “You’ve known him for a while, then?”

Padme’s grim features bloomed with her smile, eyes brightening. “Yes. We met when I was the elected queen here. I was fourteen, then. Ani was only about nine or so.” Padme bit her lip and sat beside Rey. “What’s it like being connected to Ben? I have to admit I’m rather jealous of it. It would be much easier to trust Anakin…”

Rey looked at Padme’s hand, which claimed her own. “Be grateful the Force skipped you.” She stood up and moved to a table, where Rey had only three copies of her garb, the Jedi texts, and the kyber crystals. “Regret isn’t something I like dwelling on, so it’s hard to say I regret having these abilities. Ben is about the only thing in the whole galaxy that helps me know peace.” Looking over her shoulder, Rey tucked a strand of hair around her ears. “The Force is a heavy burden with limited opportunities for choice...at least, that’s been my experience thus far.”

“That does sound hard.”

Rey looked out of the balcony, walking back outside. Clutching onto the rail, Rey closed her eyes briefly before opening them and saying, “Life certainly was a lot simpler before the Force.”

“Rey?”

Turning, she swallowed. “Yes?”

Padme stood, joining Rey back outside. “I don’t know how I could possibly go back to a life I was never destined to live out.” She covered her throat with her delicate hand. “I visited my own grave earlier today after…”

“It’s alright, Padme…”

Padme gave Rey a forlorn smile, eyes sagging to the ground. “Ani and I fought this morning after Ben left our suite. Seeing my grandson struggle and draw his saber on us brought a few memories to the forefront of my mind.”

“I can’t begin to imagine what you went through when he became Darth Vader.”

Padme cringed, looking away. “Please don’t say that name.”

“Sorry.”

When the other woman faced Rey again, tears distorted her eyes. Her chest heaved, and she looked like she was in physical pain. “It’s all so much to bear, Rey...You of all people know.”

Seeing Padme’s composure crumble brought an onslaught of emotion up in Rey’s throat. Tears battled for control in her eyes. “Padme…”

“I don’t want to make the same mistakes, but it’s too much! I wish I could make these feelings go away, but I can’t!”

“Hiding from feelings is a dangerous game. Facing the truth is almost always the best path in my experience.”

Wiping her eyes, Padme shook her head. “Sorry, I don’t mean to load all my problems onto you. It’s just you’re likely the only person in the whole galaxy who understands what I feel.”

“No, I’m not,” Rey gently replied. Moving to cup her shoulder, she nodded her head. “Anakin and Ben? They feel it, too. Only worse. They have to live with their mistakes.”

“What am I going to do?”

Rey narrowed her eyes. “You heal together. It’s the only solution I found that works.”

“How can I do that when everytime I bring it up to talk it through, he gets angry and thinks I blame him.” Padme shook her head and exhaled, regaining a shred of her composure back. “Maybe I do, but we’ve been given one last shot to make us right. I love him so much, but how can we heal together when he hides too much from me, and I can’t talk to him about anything?”

The Force squeezed Rey’s gut. The hair on her body stood erect, and she immediately reached for her lightsaber. “Padme, stay down!” With her free hand, she used a gentle reserve of energy to shove Padme back into the suite. 

Time almost slowed as a ship lowered enough to leverage the best angle for the blast it readied. A red blast shot from the ship, but Rey caught it and stopped it just before it got to the balcony.

The suite doors shot open, and Ben rushed to her side, holding his hand out for the ship and working to pull it closer to the balcony. Rey heard voices exchange, but every trace of warmth left her immediate area. Except for her hand. Narrowing her eyes, Rey gained a step, pushing the heavy blast away a bit. Rey’s body convulsed as a shiver almost grappled her. Cool sweat pricked her skin as it tightened around her, gathering the surrounding universe and holding her hostage.

Rey shouted, sounding like an animal more than a human being. She slid back, bracing the smooth floor with her boots. As her hand slipped back, the blast got closer. Rey quickly stepped forward, pushing the red beam back again. The longer she screamed, Rey saw her breath vapor as tears hardened in her eyes. 

No sound was distinguishable. Except voices she feared. Somewhere in the distance, Palpatine chuckled maniacally, but the loudest, clearest voice was her own, echoing around her until she felt a presence move behind her. Walking around her, she followed the figure that resembled none other than her.

“Feel as the Force moves through us. We alone are the pillar of the dark. Broken, beautiful Rey.” The figure caressed Rey’s cheek, her icelike touch burning her skin. 

Wincing, Rey blinked, snarling at the image of a darker twin. Using her lightsaber, Rey shoved it through her copy’s heart. Flashes of silent visions scratched reality away. Although she saw light, ice fed on everything in sight. Anakin and Ben fade into her phantom-like view. Light surrounded them, but her darkness threatened to swallow them whole. Blinking, Rey stepped forward once more, and the figure evaporated into ash, drifting away as wind carried her elsewhere. Reality snapped back, but she could still see her breath, and the world was devoid of heat.

Sparks stung her palm, but she kept her eyes trained to the blast, seeing Anakin hop onto a much closer ship, which was almost close enough to touch the beam. Narrowing her eyes, Rey channeled through the Force, searching it for warmth and light but finding none. Heaving her chest, she took a deep breath and chanted the only words that seemed to help. _Be with me_.

In her peripheral, she saw Anakin drag out the pilot in the single-manned ship and hop back into the suite. Swallowing, Rey’s attention shifted to her hand, which was crackling and surrounded with tendrils of lightning. If she stayed where she was, she’d kill them all. Looking over to Ben, she felt a drop of a wet tear burn her skin. His eyes widened, looking at her if he was looking at her ghost, when she moved to jump on the rail.

“NO!”

Ben’s free arm wrapped around her and kept her from jumping off the balcony. Dragging her back onto the ground, he moved to stand behind her. Shoving the ship away from the suite, Ben helped her push the blast away, sending it flying high over the city toward the ship. 

“Let go!” Ben roared behind her, hand reaching for hers and pulling at it to come down. When the tendrils of electricity snapped the back of his hand, he shirked away from her, but quickly returned to his efforts. “Let go, Rey!”

The tendrils twined together before she could, stretching up the path of the energy she commanded toward the blast. Tears soaked her cheeks. “Ben!” As she sobbed in horror, watching as the lightning curl around Ben’s arm around her. 

Hearing his pain shot fire in her chest, thawing the ice hardening her blood. Heat invaded her body, and she dropped her hand; however, a thick bolt of lightning crawled up all the way to the blast and ship, slithering around both and creating a deafening roar in the sky as the ship, blast, and lightning light up the black sky like it was daytime. The force of the explosion sent them both flying until Ben hit the wall behind them on the inside of the suite, and she slipped through his grasp midway. Rey’s saber fell out of her hand, rolling onto the opposite side of the suite by Anakin’s foot. 

“Ben!” 

Rey crawled along the floor toward the couch, stumbling as she tried to stand on her feet. His body twitched, but he responded to her, reaching his hand out for her. Dropping her eyes to it, Rey cried in horror, seeing his skin raw, burned, and red. Ben continued to convulse, but he focused on her and nothing else.

“Rey...”

Body shaking, Rey reached for his arm, closing her eyes and crying as she sent a part of her life into him. Opening her eyes, the wounds almost disappeared, however, a small burn mark marred his forearm. 

Ben reached for her with his other hand, but she slipped past him. “Rey?”

Falling back on her ass, Rey sobbed as she rushed back toward the balcony. Looking back at her saber, she held her hand out and willed it into her hand. Her breaths were rushed, quickly leaving her light headed. With each breath she drew, a sharp pinch stabbed at the center of her back, making her flinch but not stealing her focus. Struggling to her feet, she ignited her saber and pointed it between Anakin and Ben, both who’d tried to catch her.

Tears slid down her face, and her body rocked as she struggled to keep balance on her feet. “I didn’t mean to hurt you, Ben.” Lips trembling, Rey hung her mouth open, searching the Force and galaxy for the words to say. When he stepped closer toward her, Rey strengthened her stance, shouting, “Stay back!”

Ben held his side, but he appeared steadier than she did. Ben’s eyes and jaw shook as he paused. “Rey, put down the lightsaber.”

Grabbing onto the saber with her other hand, Rey closed her eyes and stood up straighter, feeding on the dark, cold energy around her. Opening her eyes, she leveled the weapon at her eye level. “Back!” she repeated. 

Anakin made a quick move, like he would try to flank her, but Rey raged, sending him to the ground back where he once stood. Padme rushed to Anakin, shouting his name and falling over him beside the unconscious pilot.

Ben’s expression broke. “Rey, you’re still unstable. It wasn’t your fault!”

Rey slammed her mouth closed, nostrils flaring as her vision distorted behind a curtain of thick moisture. Blinking, she took a step back. “I don’t want this power!” Swallowing, Rey sobbed. “I don’t want to hurt you, Ben…”

“I know,” he replied, his voice soft. He stepped closer to her. Ben kept his gaze fixed on Rey, whispering, “I’m going to help you.”

“Kill me, Ben! It’s the only way.” Rey wept, shaking her head as she fell to her knees. “I don’t want this.”

“Don’t say that!” Ben snarled. Dropping to his knees only a few paces away from her. When she grabbed her chest with one hand, he crawled a pace closer, but she pointed her saber at him with renewed vigor. “I’m not killing you!”

“If you kill me now, then the Palpatine line ends with me!”

“Palpatine’s dead!”

“DO IT!” Rey bellowed.

Ben reached his hand out, attempting to pry the lightsaber out of her hand. “You’re Rey Solo. You’re my wife...” Furrowing his brows, his whole body shook as he worked the saber out of her grasp. Eventually, it slipped away from her, and he spun it around, turning it off as soon as it landed in his hand.

Rey shivered, shaking her head violently. “Ben…” Lips trembling, she sank back on her heels. “I’m so scared!” Her voice cracked, crumbling under the weight of the emotion thrashing within her.

Tossing her saber aside, he crawled the rest of the way to her and dragged her in his lap, rocking them both as she sobbed into his chest. Her hands shook, but they stilled once she balled the fabric of his shirt in her grasp. Stroking her hair, Ben kissed her jaw, her neck, her ear. Anywhere that was offered to him. Wrapping his arms around her body, Ben made sure she couldn’t escape from the safety of his embrace. 

“You’re so warm, Ben.”

Rubbing his palms over her arms, Ben drew back, claiming her mouth. “You’re freezing.” Rey stared at him like he was the only thing in the universe. Pulling back, Ben reached for her face with both hands, thumbs stroking the edges of her cheeks over and over again. “We start training tomorrow, Rey. Parts and Falcon be damned. I won’t lose you.” Ben sank into her as they closed the distance between their bodies. Rey bowed her head against his heart, and he sucked and nibbled at her neck, soothing the torrent of waning emotion in her.

Anakin groaned, sitting back up. “Well, we have a hostage to question, at least.” 

Padme helped him sit up, and remained at his side. “Ani, are you okay?”

Rey turned her head to see them. Anakin reached for his wife, and Padme wrapped her arms around her husband. Blinking, she observed the two of them share a kiss and brush each other’s face.

“I’m fine.”

Padme turned her attention to Rey and Ben. “What about you two?”

“We’re good,” Ben answered for them both. Pulling apart, he dragged her in for another kiss before leaning his forehead to hers. “Take whoever that is into questioning.” Smoothing hair out of Rey’s face, he narrowed his eyes. “I’ll be down there soon.”

Footsteps reached the open doors. Rey saw Finn and a few guards huffing as they surveyed the room. “What happened!?”

Ben scooped Rey up in his arms and stood to his feet. “Someone shot a blast from a ship into here, but we stopped it. Anakin grabbed the pilot, but the craft was destroyed.”

“Rey!” Finn rushed over to Ben, but he stopped once he met Ben’s glare. “What did you do to her?”

Padme shot up. “She lost control, and he saved her! They saved everyone residing in this part of the castle!”

Finn shook his head, lightly kicking the pilot. “Who’s this?”

“This is our new friend.” Anakin stood, brushing himself off. “I suggest you question him before Ben gets there.”

Rey wrapped her arms around Ben’s neck, and he turned his back to Finn. “Leave us.” Ben gently set her on the table with her bag and searched her eyes. Finn started walking toward them, but Ben pried Rey’s hands off of him and extended his hand, freezing Finn like he’d once done to her. “Go.”

“It’s okay, Finn.” Rey wiped tears from her face, looking only at Ben. “Do as he says.” 

Lowering his hand, Ben ignored the rest of the room until everyone, including Padme and Anakin, were gone. Alone. His dark eyes sent chills across her body as he trembled before her. Rey reached for him, but he caught her wrist in his tight palm. Opening his mouth, tears swept over his eyes like a deluge flooding a city: torrential and devastating. His jaw shook as he searched for something to say.

“Don’t _ever_ ask me to kill you again, Rey.”

Ben silenced her reply with a lethal moan, taking her lips between his. Cupping the back of her neck, he kept her where she was, forcing her to face his wrath. His punishing kiss sent shockwaves across her body, and she trapped him where he stood as she bound her legs around his hips. 

A vengeful shiver wracked his body, and in response, he ground his hips against her center, stealing a mix between a gasp and pained cry. Rey clawed at his thick, dark shirt, cleansing the space between them. 

“Ben!”

Freezing in her arms, Ben dipped his brows and wiped his eyes, which closed. Taking her face in his hands, he nipped at her mouth gently. Their breaths tangled, but he still didn’t do anything.

_I want you, Rey, but there’s still so much to figure out._

_I feel so funny right now._ Rey kissed him, placing the tips of her fingers on his mouth. _Is this part of the dark?_

_Depends._

_On?_

_Desire is a part of the dark side, but this isn’t always a part of that._

“Desire?” Rey repeated, feeling her cheeks warm. Swallowing, she exhaled a rushed breath. 

“You’ve never had sex, have you?”

Inhaling, Rey trapped the air in her lungs as she narrowed her eyes. Biting her bottom lip, the scavenger tried looking away, but he caught her chin. Meeting his hues, she exhaled after he mimicked her heavy intake. Together, they worked to match their breathing. When she was calmer, Rey traced his jaw with the back of her hand.

“No, I was too busy scavenging and surviving.” Rey squirmed when he rubbed against her, moaning in a way she inwardly cringed at. “You’re the first man I’ve...the only one I’ve felt like this with.”

Ben took her hand and guided the inside of her wrist to his mouth. “You’re the only one I’ll make love with, Rey.”

Rey trembled against him, her body demanding something she couldn’t give into just yet. Ben Solo had a past, one that blurred with another’s. “Was it before or after Kylo Ren?”

“When I made the turn to the dark, Rey, Snoke…” Ben sighed, nose curling, “ _Palpatine_ urged me to strip everything I held onto about Ben Solo. I’d never...but back then, all I felt was everything I held back as Ben Solo. I was hungry, but I was never full until it got to the point where emotion started to get involved. Then I was forced to stop until I could control myself without the emotion getting in the way. Over the years, I’d naturally became less and less interested in sex. All I wanted was power. By the time we met, it’s all I lusted after.”

Ben sighed, claiming her mouth briefly before pulling away. Rey absently traced the light scar on his face, listening to him as he continued. “Rey, I don’t know what’s going to happen tomorrow or even in a week, but all I’m certain of is that you’re the center of my life. You’re the only thing that makes a shred of sense anymore, and I’m terrified you’ll be taken from me.”

Kissing the bottom edge of his scar, Rey smiled, though it didn’t make it to her eyes. “Even if we hated each other still, I’d never wish you to experience what life was life without you.”

“I never hated you, Rey.” Ben kissed her palm. “If I did, you wouldn’t be alive. Besides murdering my father, you were the one thing Snoke ordered me to extinguish.”

They shared a lazy, lingering kiss.

“Rey?”

“What is it?”

“We will figure all of this out,” Ben said, pulling her palm over his heart. Somewhere where his soul ended and hers began, he was making her a promise. One he didn’t intend on breaking. 

The resolution in his expression planted a small seed of hope in her belly. “How can you know that?”

“Because we’re together,” Ben answered. “I have a working theory. I could be wrong, but when you held the blast, our connection showed me flashes of what you saw. Rey, what if you really are the pillar of the dark?”

“Ben, don’t even say it.” Rey tried to move away, but he held her steady.

“I’m serious,” Ben said. “You were ice cold and I could see your breath. You said I was warm. What if the Force seeks balance through both of us?”

Rey pinched her features, breathing to calm the crashing wave of nerves threatening to trample over them both. “Then that means I won’t be able to control this!”

“Rey, you’re not listening! If you’re the pillar of the dark side, then I have to be the pillar of the light. We, together, are a balance. You won’t lose control as long as we’re together!”

Rey narrowed her eyes. “How? You were... _just_ Kylo Ren before you faded into the Force. Just because I was born a Palpatine, I default to the dark side?”

Ben kissed her, easing the tension from her heart. “I have no idea. It’s all so twisted, but it might be the only thing that makes sense until we learn more.”

* * *

**Consider leaving your thoughts in the form of a review before you leave. :)**


	8. Duality

**Author's Note:** Merry Christmas, y'all! It's a bit of a heavy chapter, but it introduces the next few chapters in an unexpected way. I reworked this chapter after seeing Episode IX a second time tonight. I knew I had to get another chapter out ASAP. 

Enjoy!

* * *

**CHAPTER 8**

_Naboo_

_REY_

* * *

All the times she’d snuck around enemy bases, Rey had been able to at least leverage the hope she had allies to return to. The bulk of the Resistance troops had either been moved to Coruscant through the night or deployed around Theed to help clean up debris around the city. Very little damage was inflicted, but Poe and Finn, in tandem with the elected queen, thought it best to flex their united military muscle to show a united, strong front to Naboo’s people.

First Order sympathizers gathered over night in Coruscant in an attempt to assassinate a vital Resistance ally, a senator acting in agreement to peacekeeping negotiations arranged by Poe and Finn more than a year ago. A ship had almost killed her the same night. That both incidents are related quickly became commonplace sense to many; however, a concrete connection linking them together had yet to be secured. 

Before Ben or Anakin could make it to the pilot last night, someone from within the Resistance had snuck in and killed their hostage, so now Poe and Finn were trying to figure out if they’d been simply betrayed by their own members or if someone had snuck in undetected. Either case posed a similar issue that could quickly cripple all of Leia’s hardwork in addition to what they’d done the last few years together since her passing.

In the early morning before the sunlight blushed the horizon, the scavenger had left Ben in their plush, luxurious bed and crept back into the hangar, wishing to spend the last few hours on Naboo encased in her few memories with Han on the Falcon. She didn’t know why a man with whom she’d spent so little time had the profound impact on her soul, but she missed him and all future they could have had exploring the galaxy with Chewie. However, when she arrived, too many Resistance members rushed to and fro, so she found a large metal support column. Climbing it had posed no trouble for her, but she’d been stuck watching the frantic activity below for the last few hours.

As ships deployed, Rey closed her eyes and spent a great deal of time in a meditative calm, breathing evenly until a warm ray settled in her chest and spread across her limbs. Relief struck her hard as she reveled in the light’s warmth. At least she wasn’t losing touch with it completely. 

Leaning her head back, she listened to the busy people scrambling and scurrying to their posts. The Force swept her across the base, until Ben and Anakin came into her mind. Pushing deeper into the Force, distant, echoey voices translated into a coherent conversation.

“When you get back, Ben, we should have a race.” Anakin folded his arms over his chest. A peaceful smirk replaced the Jedi master’s flat expression. “I do love to win.”

Ben stopped gathering items and straightened. Turning, Ben eyes his grandfather up and down, brow raising. Ben’s chuckle wasn’t nearly as lively as it had been in the small moments they’d shared, but warmth underscored the pleasant sound. “I think all those years stuck as a Force ghost must have skewed your mind, Anakin.”

“I don’t think it has.” Anakin relaxed, moving to stand by Ben. Sighing, Anakin grabbed a shirt and handed it to his grandson. “Ben, I know none of this makes very much sense or is easy for any one of us.”

Ben’s eye ticked, but he shook his head and continued packing several pairs of pants and an assortment of shirts into a trunk. His reluctant smile warmed Rey’s soul. “What are you on about now?”

“Well, we’re family. You’re my grandson; yet, physically,” Anakin gestured down his torso, his mechanical hand glinting as the sunlight hit the metal for a second. His playful smirk bloomed, continuing, “I’m younger than you.”

“I think the Force secretly has a crude sense of humor…”

Anakin sighed. “My point is that we don’t have to pretend that we’re one small, happy family, Ben,” he said, surveying the lot of Ben’s things. 

_ How much are you bringing? _ Rey thought.

Ben paused, checking around him with narrowed eyes. His brows knit together as he scanned the room for her, holding up a hand to Anakin when he tried to speak. Stepping closer to their suite’s door, he tilted his head. “Rey?” he murmured.

“What is it?”

Ben dropped his hand, chin shaking absently until he returned to packing. “Thought I heard Rey.”

“I can’t imagine what it’s like having your whole mind ready for her perusal.” Anakin sat on their bed, the edge of the mattress dipping under his weight. His smile grew as a laugh eased out of his throat. “How did you come to gather such a collection of belongings in such a short period of time, Ben?”

“I have a home here in Theed,” Ben said, turning his back to the Jedi as he meticulously folded even more things. “It was never registered in my name: Ben Solo or Kylo Ren. It was one of the only places in the whole galaxy where I could escape...until things in the First Order started piling up.” Turning back to the bed, Ben sighed, mumbling something under his breath as he straightened a crooked pile of pants. “I hadn’t been back here in...at least five years before I died.”

“Why don’t you and Rey settle there, then?”

Ben shared a look with his grandfather, swallowing. “Rey is like my father in some ways.”

“I never really had the pleasure of knowing Han.”

Ben’s mouth twitched up. “No time, really, when you’re busy using him to test a freezing chamber.”

Anakin looked down.

Silence pronounced the pain that they both carried. The many years collected between them stacked to two of the tallest mountains keeping them trapped. The only way out was climbing over them or finding a way through.

Stilling, Ben rubbed his face and fell back onto the bed, a neat and orderly pile capsizing to the floor. He did nothing to remedy the small chaos. “Dad wasn’t someone who wanted anything to do with fancy homes, a happy family, or even staying in one place for too long. He needed to keep his mind busy. He wasn’t like my mother. When peace became too much of a bore, my father returned to the only life that had always made sense for him.”

Anakin narrowed his eyes, pondering over something. “I’m not sure Rey fits that description.”

“Not completely,” Ben replied, reaching for his sets of pants and folding them neatly back onto the bed. “Rey comes from nothing. Me? I come from everything. Too much. My mother made the mistake assuming Han would just somehow fit into her life. I’m not going to make their mistakes. Not with Rey.”

“So you’re just walking away from everything you are?”

Ben stood and slowly organized everything into his trunk. “Home has never been a place for me, no matter how long I search,” Ben muttered. Sighing, he looked to his grandfather. “I realized too late that my home is, instead, a person.” Ben shook, and he gripped the sides of his trunk. “I knew before I ran down to help end Palpatine that my life would end. I thought he’d kill me, but he didn’t. I died the way I’m meant to live: for her.”

“I wish things were as simple for Padme and I.”

Ben threw his attention on Anakin. “It can be.”

“I can’t believe I have to ask my grandson,” Skywalker said, laughing and covering his mouth until he quieted. “What do you suggest I do?”

“I think it’s easier for me and Rey because of our connection. There’s nothing we can hide from each other.”

“Do you have a more practical suggestion? One that doesn’t require a Force generated tether of minds…”

Ben rolled his eyes, letting go of the trunk and gathering a pile to place inside it. “What I meant was you shouldn’t hide anything from her. From what I learned from old Empire history files, she is a strong woman on her own merit. Stop viewing strength in terms of the Force, and maybe that might help you. Use her strengths to compliment you. Protecting her doesn’t mean shutting her out.”

“I hope you’re both able to return quickly,” Anakin said, nodding once and rubbing his chin with his hand. “The queen has named Padme an official ambassador of Naboo, which means she’ll have to go back to Coruscant eventually...if negotiations go well in the next senate meeting.”

“Don’t spread yourself too thin,” Ben said, gently guiding the last stack of clothing into the truck and shutting it before lifting it with the Force and moving it by the door. “If you need to focus on Padme, don’t spend too much time training the boy.”

“I’ll keep him and Padme safe, Ben. Rey won’t need to worry about Desren.” Anakin stood up, his movements slow. Moving toward the large windows, he joined his hands at his back and sighed. “I still have no clue why or how we were given a second shot at living.”

“You’re the chosen one, Anakin. Maybe you left behind unfinished business,” Ben suggested.

Anakin cast a warm glance over his shoulder. “We should be careful with that phrase, Ben,” he said, almost inaudibly. “Whether I am the chosen one or not, ego is not something good to anyone who’s Force sensitive.”

“Rey…” a smooth, soft voice called from somewhere far away. 

Gasping, Rey was torn from Ben and Anakin back to the hangar. Opening her eyes, the scavenger looked to her side, seeing Leia’s iridescent form. Speechless, Rey shot up to her feet. “Master Leia!” Tears smeared reality, until Rey wiped her eyes. “It’s been too long.”

Leia moved toward her, stopping only two or three paces from Rey. A signature smile glowed on her lips. “Rey, I’m not sure how long we have.”

Rey dipped her brows together. “Is something wrong?”

“Not yet, Rey,” Leia answered, holding her hands up. “This is a more personal visit. I wanted to see you.”

Rey met Leia halfway on the rafter high up in the large hangar. A single tear escaped her eye. The walls of her throat tensed, jerking against her breath as she struggled to shake a deep pit in her stomach. “Leia?”

Nodding, Leia smiled up at her. “I think you know why I’m here.”

“I don’t.”

Forehead wrinkling as she swallowed, Leia approached Rey and moved her hand against her cheek, though Rey felt nothing. “If things had been different, I would have been honored to have you as my daughter. I can’t wait to witness the life you and Ben forge together.”

Drawing her head back, Rey shook her head, though her shoulders rocked. Moisture blotted the world around her. “I don’t understand.”

“Rey, I’m not sure we’ll ever speak again.”

The Force pinched at Rey’s mind, ultimately snapping back like a sharp band around her. Ben’s figure emerged through Leia’s translucent form. It was his mother who held all her focus as the Force tightened around her, fusing with her soul and transmitting a bite of cold against Rey’s fingertips.

“Don’t do this.”

“A true dyad in the Force, Rey...In order to harness your greatest powers, there must be true balance between you both.” Leia moved closer to her, but Rey stepped back. “The Light is within you, but it clashes with the Darkness siphoning your soul.”

“Ben will help me control it.” Rey shivered. “You’ll see…”

Leia clutched her heart. “The Dark within you feeds on both of your souls, Rey. There is no controlling it so long as you hoard the Force.”

“Tell me what must be done!”

“One body cannot simply shoulder the burden and beauty of the Force, Rey.” Leia reached for Rey, and warmth infested the chill sweeping over her. “You were made a pair for this reason, I think.”

Rey closed her eyes, recalling the way Leia used to hold her when they hugged. The temperate heat of the jungle licked her skin, flooding over the scavenger’s body. 

“What do you see, Rey?”

This was the Light, a place where tranquility and life manifested. 

“The source of all life.”

In the distance, a hut situated between a dense gathering of the tallest trees she’d yet seen. Smoke rose from the inside, but two figures emerged from it. 

“Don’t be afraid, Rey.”

It was her parents. How could she be afraid when her parents stood mere paces from her?

Shaking her head, the scavenger laughed, the sound pulsing the air, charging the current of energy vibrating all around her. “I’m not.”

Her mother chased after a child: a girl with three knots stacked at the back of her head. 

“Remember this place.”

Her father’s smile melted the remaining walls guarding her heart. In the distance, chirps and other noises sang a private symphony.

“This is your heart, Rey.” Leia’s voice grew louder, the various instruments of nature drowned under the daunting crashes of her whispers. “The Light will never leave you.”

When she tried stepping toward her parents, the world disintegrated, the pieces of the Light flying in the wind like singular grains of sand carried by a great gale. The shattered Force reconstructed back to reality. Back in the hangar, Rey fell to her knees as all warmth fled her body and into Leia’s ghost, which slowly took shape as she’d appeared before she faded into the Force the longer she pulled the Light from Rey.

Tears dripped from her eyes like heavy rain. Rey shook against Leia. The gentle touch of her master’s hand rattled as Leia’s knees buckled. Rey’s body was frozen under the woman’s touch, even though all the warning bells sounded like a battle cry in her mind. Leia stole the last traces of living Light from Rey, and the apprentice could do nothing save watch as it happened. 

Leia’s ghost solidified, life blooming on her face. Rey convulsed, hands unable to lift. Holding her in her arms, Leia stroked Rey’s face, smiling wildly. The brilliance almost burned the scavenger. “Rey, you are so loved. You were never alone...you will never be alone.”

Luke’s voice whispered from somewhere close. “Take care of the kid. He’ll need your guidance, as you’ll need his.”

Adrenaline zapped Rey’s body. She flinched, feeling bile rise from the depths of her gut up her throat as she used any strength she had left to clasp Leia’s throat. “Stop!”

Ben sank to his knees behind his mother, who reached out for her son. She joined all of them, binding them through the Force in a way that momentarily blinded Rey. As the world faded to black, she heard Leia shout, “All that I am, Ben, is yours.” Pausing for only a few seconds, Rey heard her voice one final time. “I love you, son.”

Blinking, Rey’s vision returned, watching as Leia’s body slowly fades away as Ben tries to hold onto her, his body wrapped in a soft glow that makes him look otherworldly. Divine. When all of Leia disappears, only then does he see Rey falling off the high rafter in the hangar. 

Stretching his hand out for her, Rey watches as he fades back as their connection cuts. Streaks of grays, a dull display ranging from light to dark peppered with muted browns and dead tans, blur the world, enveloping her in a cold, brutal ocean draining her of her life. Something strikes her body, and the muddy vortex freezes back to the clear picture of the hangar. 

Warmth pools at the base of her head, but it quickly cools, stinging her as she stares up at the rafter she fell from. The world almost glitches as her chest clenches. Head light and body paralyzed, Rey felt thick tears drip one by one over each temple. Life slowly drained from her. The more she lay there, pain suffocated her, air no longer hers to steal. 

None of her limbs heeded her commands. Although the Force buzzed around her, it, too, ignored her existence. Something wet stuck to Rey’s clothes, the fabric absorbing the oozing substance like a sponge. Throughout her life, she’d recovered from numerous falls and dangerous blows to the head. Upon leaving Jakku, Rey had won a first row seat to a new brand of pain. It was invisible. Inevitable, but always treatable.

Now, she would live out the last remaining minutes in an exquisite agony she’d only known when she faced her grandfather. Closing her eyes, Rey wracked her mind, searching the Force for her connection with Ben. 

No one answered her pleas. The Force was dead. 

Silently drowning, Rey waited for death to take her somewhere that pain couldn’t reach her. Closing her eyes, she surrendered to the darkness swelling around her body, flashing to life the further she slipped from it.

Until warmth pressed against her heart, digits that felt like hands curling some. After a second, her collapsed lungs gasped for air. Licks of lightning scorched her from within as her body began to repair. Her back arched in response, and her head stretched back as she violently rattled against the ground, the sound of her own screams distorted and distant.

Someone repositioned her body. Another person held her legs down to the ground. Frost nipped at her skin until a large, hot hand eradicated it. The world came back in waves, stacking upon each other in order to mend reality back together again. Splintered pain ebbed and flowed within her, slowly tucking back behind the curtain of blackness that threatened to haunt her in her dreams. When her vision was restored, Ben was all she saw. His features were frantic, and his eyes clogged with tears as he shouted something she couldn’t hear. Soon after, the blackness engorged everything, taking him from her as she slipped into the Dark.

* * *

_ Millenium Falcon _

_ REY _

* * *

Rey shot up, feeling all around her until she took ample stock of her surroundings. Shivering, the scavenger winced, gripping her gut. The padding under her bum rocked as someone sat at the foot of her pallet. Leaning her head in her palms, Rey’s teeth chattered even though a thick blanket covered her legs. Someone reached for her hand, and she flailed back until she noticed Ben.

“Rey, you’re safe!”

Flashes thrashed at the forefront of her mind. Eyes narrowing, Rey felt her features twitch as her palm warmed, thin strands of lightning snapping at her fingers. Staring at him, Rey slapped his cheek and grabbed him by his collar. “Are you happy?” Rey screamed. Tears weighed her eyes, and she didn’t stop them from falling. “You got exactly what you wanted...”

“Rey!”

The scavenger shoved him on the opposite side of the ship and fell out of her pallet, catching herself before she face planted on the cold floor. Struggling, Rey stumbled to her feet, using the nearby wall to keep her steady. Her chest rose and sank so rapidly, she couldn’t think straight for a moment. When she bit down into her trembling lip hard enough, the pain shocked her back to reality. 

“If you cared for me at all, even when you were Kylo Ren, you’d never wish this for me!”

“Rey…” Ben said, mouth shaking as he stood back, providing the space that left only the cold to keep her company. “My mom saved you!”

“Saved me?” Tears poured down her face. Clawing at her heart, she fell back against the wall. Her eyes never left him. “Anakin betrays the Jedi Order to start the Empire with a Sith...possibly slaughtering millions across his reign as Darth Vader, and he’s forgiven. You rise up and slaughter children, your own friends whom you trained with, and kill even more innocent life! Kylo Ren is redeemed.” Clutching the fabric covering her chest, Rey dropped to the floor and tried to stop the stabbing at her back from overpowering her. “Damn the Skywalkers! Every last one of you! All I ever did was live a solitary life on a planet no one gives a care about...I never hurt anyone until I met you. You’ve destroyed me, Ben Solo…” Rey curled her body into a ball against the wall, tucking her face between her legs and sobbing. “I just wanted a family, and, instead, I became a monster…”

Despite flying through space, the galaxy had abandoned every stitch of warmth and invited a freezing storm in its place. Footsteps shook the floor panels as Ben rushed toward her. Rey had not the strength left to push him away again. His hands pried her out from the cocoon she made of herself and pressed her back against the wall.

“You’re not the monster,” Lip trembling, Ben pressed his mouth against her. “If I could give my life to undo all I’ve done, Rey, I would. I’ve searched the Force for every possibility in the time you’ve been unconscious, and there’s nothing we can do but move forward and heal together and repair the galaxy as best as we can.” 

Stroking her hair, he kissed her fingers and slid his palm behind her neck. “Once you recover your strength, you’ll begin to see you’re no longer unstable. My mother gave her last bit of life to balance the power Palpatine displaced when he drained us.” He shook his head in an attempt to hold back the tears shining in his eyes.

“She’s gone?”

Ben swallowed, but looked her in the eyes. “I’ve chased the Force from one end to the other. I don’t sense her anywhere.”

Rey reached for him, choking on her sobs briefly before brushing her mouth against his. When he tried pulling away, she touched his jaw, and he stilled. Pulling apart, she touched her forehead against his. “I don’t hate you, Ben Solo.”

“Don’t worry,” Ben warned. His hair fell over his eyes as he shook in her arms. “I hate myself.” Rey shivered against him. “You’re freezing, Rey,” he absently said, rubbing her arms until the friction motivated some heat on her skin. He dipped his mouth against hers.

“What happened to me? After I fell unconscious…”

Ben caressed her cheeks with his thumbs. “You were out for days, Rey. Almost a week. I almost thought you weren’t waking up…”

Rey threw herself at him, enveloping him in her arms and sitting in his lap. Stroking his back, she narrowed her eyes. “I’m with you, Ben,” she whispered, kissing his hair and sinking her face in the crook of his neck. “I’m here.”

Ben threaded his fingers in her loose hair, massaging her scalp a bit. He swallowed, saying, “The Resistance made the most needed repairs to the Falcon over the first few days and stocked us up with enough supplies for a few months before sending us, along with Chewie, elsewhere to train while they cut down the uprisings.”

“How did things get so bad?”

Ben tightened his arms around her. “Nothing will happen to you, Rey.”

“It’s not me I worry for…” Rey clutched the dark fabric of his charcoal shirt. 

Ben laughed. “I don’t mind it much if I die if it means you’re safe.”

“I need you, Ben. I can’t do this alone.”

Ben chased her mouth with his, drawing her in for a lingering kiss as he pressed her tighter against him. “That’s the only reason I’m still fighting against the anguish, Rey. You’re why I’m not collapsing under the weight of the galaxy.” Losing themselves in the intimacy, Rey moaned as he pressed his hot hand on her waist, thumb close to her breast. Ben moved his mouth from hers and dragged it down to her neck, stopping over the pulse there and sucking. 

Hard. 

Rey gasped quietly and gripped his black hair, leaning her head back and whispering his name. Switching between biting and sucking, Ben cradled the back of her head with one hand and guiding her hips back and forward over his groin. Something hard pressed against the apex of her thighs, and her eyes fluttered open as her breath caught. 

“Ben!” Rey panted a few times before bringing his mouth back onto her. 

When he stopped them, she almost growled. He pulled back and brushed her hair. “Chewie’s here…” Swallowing, he dared to push them for a quick kiss that threatened to drive them to the edge of insanity. “Plus, it’s still too soon…”

Rey’s eyes welled with emotion. “When will it ever be the right time?” Sighing, she traced the edge of his hard jawbone with her index finger. “We keep stumbling into one crisis after the other. I’m tired of waiting.”

“Soon,” he promised. A ghost of a smile teased his mouth. “We just have too much left to figure out.”

Bumping her nose against his, Rey’s eyes closed and she inhaled, inviting a wave of calm into her mind. Ben stroked the length of her spine, his fingers almost tickling her. “Ben, you know I’m not going to leave you, right? I accidentally overheard your conversation with Anakin...We’ll find a way to make us work.”

Ben repositioned them so that his back was against the wall, and Rey sat back against his chest. Wrapping his arms around her body, she folded her legs and tangled them in his. Sighing, Ben took her ear in his mouth, biting the cartilage there. The moment Rey moaned, he stopped and whispered, “We can talk about all this someday. For now, Rey, rest.”

And she did. Closing her eyes, she kissed his chin and invited a deep, cleansing breath into her chest. Eyes scanning the ship, Rey folded her arms over his, vowing to commit each detail of this moment to memory.

* * *

**Consider leaving your thoughts in the form of a review before you leave. :)**


	9. The Shores of Forgiveness

**Author's Note:** I hope you're strapped in! After this chapter, we embark on some Force training...and spicier frontiers: particularly of the smuttier variety. Strap in for the next phase of our adventure! Know that I appreciate each and every follow and comment/review. I feel so connected to other Reylo fans like myself. It's so great to know I'm not alone!

Enjoy!

* * *

**CHAPTER 9**

_Millenium Falcon_

_REY_

* * *

Rey occupied the pilot’s seat in the cockpit, twirling the receiver between her fingers. “Ajan Kloss?” she whispered. Ben slept in the crew’s quarters, while Chewie claimed the bunk near the game table. Swallowing, Rey clutched to the thick black, First Order issued cape, which covered her body as she curled into a tight ball.

Finn sighed. “Yeah. Poe and I agree that, for now, it’s best you two train there. We have strong transmission connectivity there back when our base was there. The few Resistance forces still left will bring Chewie back to Naboo.”

Rey’s forehead wrinkled as she straightened in the seat, studying the expanse of the light speed at which the Falcon travelled. “Are things bad?”

“No, we’re actually containing the uprising well.”

Shaking her head, Rey pulled the three bands from her hair and ruffled her fingers over her light brown locks. “Why does Chewie have to return?”

“Honestly? It was the agreement. Not only do we need all hands on deck, but he and...Ben ran into some trouble when you were out. Chewie agreed to help co-pilot the Falcon until you woke up.”

“I understand.” Rey lowered her gaze, clenching her fists. “Having to look at the man who killed his partner can’t be an easy thing to stomach.” Tears stung her eyes, but she rolled her hues and wiped them away before they fell. “We’ll be there in under one standard hour.”

“Rey?”

“Yeah?”

Silence hung between them as she tucked her chin in the cloak’s warmth. Waiting, Rey rested her head back against the seat, eyes closing. The hum of the Force, although gentle, had yet to awaken within her. It was almost like it stood only paces away, but for one reason or another, she could not reach it.

“What’s gonna happen to us?” Finn asked, static cutting out a syllable or two. “Ben left the books with Anakin. Are you giving up being a Jedi?”

“Finn…” Rey sighed, body beginning to shake as she searched the passing white bars beyond the ship for guidance. “I don’t expect you to completely understand, but Ben and I are a dyad in the Force. We are two that are one,” she explained. Scratching her throat, she continued, “Ben’s sins are mine, and my good is his.”

“He’s done too much, Rey!” She heard Finn nurse a heavy, sad sob. “You don’t know the full story! I was there. I was a Stormtrooper in the same brigade who raided that village on Jakku. He ordered for the whole village to die…”

Chin trembling, Rey covered her chest as it jerked suddenly to accommodate the pain settling in. “Finn, if Ben is your enemy, then I am, too.” A single tear dropped down her cool skin. “Leia trusted him with the Light. The last thing she did was gift him with the hope she’d carried the the last decade or so of her life like a flickering candle in a storm.”

“Rey, you don’t have to do this! Come back. We can train together, and stop Maul ourselves.”

“You’re not listening to me, Finn.” Rey opened her eyes as a small smile bloomed at the corner of her mouth. “I want to share with you what Leia taught me the last few months of her life.” After a brief exhale, Rey added, “It’s about all the training I am capable of providing.”

A pause bubbled between them, but eventually, Finn whispered, “What is it?”

The ship wasn’t as smooth as it should be. A bit of turbulence distracted her for a second, until she stood between both front seats in the cockpit. Setting the receiver down on one of them, Rey readjusted the cloak to rest over her shoulders. Plucking the device back up in her palm, Rey’s smile broadened. 

“Compassion, Finn,” she whispered. 

The edge of the cloak’s fabric pooled on the floor around her feet. Arms molded around her body, and Ben’s strong, broad chest sank over her. Ben pressed a chaste kiss at her cheek, and Rey leaned her head back onto his shoulder, an infant smile maturing with a leisurely flourish on her lips. Her throat stretched as she leaned back to stare at him, allowing him to reach around her chest and cradle the space behind her head. Ben’s nose traced the expanse of her skin from her collarbone to behind her ear, his lips planting kisses along the path of his lazy exploration. As he inhaled her scent, Rey closed her eyes as he clasped his mouth around the bottom of her earlobe. 

“Why are you always gone when I wake?” Ben whispered.

Finn said something else, but Rey threw the receiver down on one of the seats, folding her arms over his. Swallowing, the scavenger chuckled, his teeth coaxing the noise from her throat as he bit down on her flesh. “Why do you still have so much First Order clothing?”

“Are you really answering questions with another question, sweetheart?” Feeling Ben’s smile widen, they shared a lazy sigh. “Why did you mess up my trunks? Do you know how long I spent meticulously folding everything?”

“I was cold, and Chewie took the blanket I was using earlier.” Rey chuckled. “And yes, actually.”

“You _were_ there in my room when I was talking with Anakin.”

“Sorry I snuck away from you. I should have woken you up, but I wanted a few minutes to myself.” Rey peeled his hand from her body and laced her fingers in his, resting her forehead to his warm neck. “I heard Finn on the receiver, so we talked for a few minutes.”

“My sins are my own, Rey.”

“No,” she said, reaching from under his cloak over his shoulder until her fingers tangled with the hair at the back of his neck. “I’ve decided that all you are is mine.”

Ben tried to spin her around to face him, but she willed the Force to keep her still. “Rey, you don’t know what you’re saying.”

“I do, Ben.” The white strands of light passing the ship mesmerized her again. “The weight of it all is too much for one person. And you’re only half a soul. It will eventually crush you, and I won’t stand by to watch it happen.”

“There’s still much you don’t know about me...about what I’ve done.” Ben tightened his hold on her, and stared up at him as he busied his attention in the passing stars beyond the ship. His eyes welled with unshed tears that reflected the light glittering outside. “If I had any say, you’d never know.”

Rey guided his hand to her face, untangling her fingers from his and spreading them apart until his palm opened to her. Lowering her lips to the center of his scarred, big hand, the scavenger lingered there until he whispered her name. Finally, she let him turn her around, and she hummed as she exhaled when their mouths touched. Brushing his shaky hair from his face, Rey smiled up at him. 

“All that you are is mine.” She searched his wild, expressive eyes. “Say it.”

Ben’s throat bobbed as he studied her. His body shook in her arms. The space between them erased as he stepped toward her once, taking her face between his hands. Conflict broke the peace in his eyes as the rush of emotion settled. Eyes dipping to her mouth, Ben tentatively kissed her, their mouths parting as they deepened it. After a moment, he broke away from her, but the bridge of his nose rest against her lips. Rey nuzzled her nose against his. 

Their heavy breaths weaved together the longer his silence punctuated the moment. Swallowing once more, Ben shivered against her. Eyes fanning open, Ben stared at her like nothing else existed. “A-all that you are...is mine.” 

“Ben, I am yours. When Leia took the Light from me, she took my parents, too. All I’ve ever wanted and needed lies in you now.” As he exhaled, Rey trailed her hands along the length of his spine. His eyes searched hers for the secrets of the unknown universe. He must have found something in his exploration, because any trace of the conflict in him eased from his countenance. Flattening her palm over his heart, Rey rubbed the scratchy stubble on his chin with her thumb. “You called me sweetheart.”

Ben was swept away in thought, perhaps recalling something. Rey didn’t press into their connection. The way his eyes darted over her face as he shook his head broke her heart a little. “Did I?”

Rey nodded, brushing his bottom lip with her shaky touch. “Ben?”

“Sorry. It just slipped out,” he answered, claiming her hands in his and bringing her fingers to his mouth. “It’s what dad called mom when they were together.”

Shaking her head, Rey tentatively smiled. “I don’t mind it, Ben.”

“Are you sure?”

Nodding, Rey laughed. “Yes.” 

He brought her forehead to his and closed his eyes. “Rey, I never thought I could be this happy. I’ve always felt so alone.”

“You were never alone, Ben. In some way, we’ve always been together. Even before I was born.”

“I almost forgot that I’m about a decade older than you are.”

Rey’s smile dwindled as her thoughts led her down a questionable path. Dropping her eyes from him, she sighed. 

_What is it?_

_I just thought of something a little funny._

_Care to share?_

Pulling back, Rey brought their lips together and idly explored him for a moment. “I don’t know if it’s too soon or not.”

“Rey?” Ben swallowed. “You know you can tell me anything. What you don’t I can easily find if I must.”

The corner of her mouth ticked upward, nodding. “After everything that’s happened, it seems you’re following in your father’s footsteps.”

A somber, soft chuckle rumbled in his chest. Grabbing her jaw in his hands, he gently stroked the side of her face and stared down at Rey. “I think it’s time I find my own shoes to fill.”

The energy around them tightened, strengthening their bond and repairing any cracks left behind from their tumultuous past. Ben laughed, lowering his mouth to hers as the smile she loved blossom, transforming into something she’d never seen in him. Happiness crashed between them. Joining hands, together they whispered, “All that you are is mine.”

Rey grinned, the texture of peace sliding over her heart. For a moment, they remained quiet, until a thought came to her. “When we get to Ajan Kloss, we should push you like you pushed me on Pasaana.”

Narrowing his eyes, Ben withdrew from her a little. “What for?”

“I can’t be the only one with extra power.”

“Force lightning is practically standard...given your ancestry.”

Rey shook her head. “When Palpatine used it, it badly disfigured his body. I’ve used it several times now, and I’m still me.” Stepping toward him, Rey reached for his wrist. “Besides, I could kill you if I lose control like I did on Naboo.”

“My mother restored our balance, Rey,” he said. Rubbing her cheek, he whispered, “Don’t worry about me.” Ben tore himself from her and walked around the curve of the hallway outside the cockpit. 

Rey followed him, abandoning the receiver and cloak. Rounding the hall, she trailed close behind him as he walked into the room with the game table. “Don’t worry about you?”

Chewie slept on the bunk, and he growled at them for disturbing his rest. 

Ben stopped, trying to move around her and out of the room, but Rey caught his hand. “Ben, stop!”

Whirling around, Ben towered over her, his strength radiating from every inch of his body. His eyes matched the violent intensity as Kylo Ren always had. “Let me go, Rey.”

Rey stepped toward him, her challenge pulsing to life as he glared down at her. “Make me let go.” 

“I need you to let me go.” Ben quivered in her hand. Eye twitching, he put a hand on her shoulder, feebly trying to push her away from him with just his natural strength. He didn’t call upon the Force to help. Hair fell in front of his ferocious eyes. “Please.”

“You’re afraid,” she murmured. The more she studied the depths of rage embering in his hues, the more the truth showed. “Why?”

Ben’s eyes switched onto Chewie, who still howled off to the side. Both ignored the Wookie for now. Snapping his focus back to her, Ben shuddered. They shared a look, and for a brief moment, he wanted to lie to her. She felt the battle wage within him. However, the burden of their bond held him accountable to her. “The goal of the last two decades of my life has always been power. I never had enough of it. I always needed more. I killed Han Solo for a taste of _more_.”

“Don’t call him that!” the scavenger ordered. For the first time since leaving him in the middle of the ocean on Kef Bir, Rey spoke with Kylo Ren. Ben Solo took a back seat in this conversation, so she dropped her hand from him. Blood drained from her face, and the galaxy was cold again. Rey’s features jittered, a flood of dangerous emotion swarming her chest as she stared at him. “He was your father,” she whispered.

“Yes, he was.” The man stomped toward the scavenger, who jerked away from him until her back hit the wall. Rey grunted, stopping, and he trapped her between his shaking body as his fists hit the wall on either side of her. Nostrils flaring, he shook his head as he glared at her. “And I still shoved my lightsaber through his heart and watched his lifeless body fall away.”

Rey winced, falling back against the wall as she lowered her chin and brought her hands to cover her face. Shoulders shuddering, she shook her head. “Stop it.”

Chewie rushed toward him, grabbing Ben by the throat and pinning him to the wall. Howling at his face. Ben shoved the Wookie away from him with the Force and reached for Leia’s saber, igniting it and whirling it around as he assumed his offensive stance. 

“I feel your hatred, Chewie. Just as I sensed it then. How was it watching as your friend died by the boy who grew up before your eyes? You wanted to kill me then. You still do.”

Rey closed her eyes, silencing the clash of a thousand sabers in her head and straightened back to her feet until all she heard was the sound of her own breath. Swallowing, she slowly walked between Ben and Chewie, the heat and power of Leia’s saber humming by her ear. Relaxing her features, Rey held out her hand to Ben. “You have a thousand generations of Jedi behind you, Ben.”

“Really?” he hissed. Eyes trembling as wildly as his mouth, Ben shook his head. “Where were they when you died?” Tears fell from his eyes. “They failed me when I searched for them. I needed guidance, but they left me all alone with your corpse.”

“You knew what had to be done, Ben,” Rey whispered, stepping closer toward him. Ben still held the saber out, and her face burned from nearly brushing it. “You gave your life for me.”

Ben wiped his eyes and shook his head. “I’ve heard from no one since my mother gave me her life,” he snapped. Brows twitching, he kept his eyes steady on her as his throat bobbed. “I’ve wasted hours meditating, chasing ghosts that aren’t even here.”

Rey gasped, a tear escaping from her eyes. “What are you afraid of, Ben?” She extended her hand to him.

Ben dropped his eyes, ensnared with the sight of her open palm. Snapping his hues back to hers, he shut the saber off and reached for her, careful not to touch her yet. “I’ve forgotten the Light side, Rey.”

“No, you haven’t.” Rey swallowed, clearing her throat as a memory etched into her mind. 

“I can’t fail you, but I don’t know how to let the past go.”

“Everything you need is here, Ben.” Master Luke had said something like that to her when she’d been at the brink of fear. It had been enough to reignite hope in her heart. Nodding, she stepped closer to him. “I can’t do this without you.” Her voice sounded so weak, so frail, she almost thought she hadn’t said them.

“I know what I have to do, but I don’t know if I have the strength to do it.”

“Oh, Ben...You’re strong! You’ve always had it. I don’t know how you can begin to heal, but know I’m right here. I _will_ worry about you, because you need to accept that your life is wanted: that you’re wanted.” 

Ben winced as a thick tear fell down his face. “Rey…”

Rey bit her bottom lip and released it as she took a final step toward Ben. “Take my hand.” When Ben’s palm slid in hers, the cold gripping her soul melted away, and balance was restored between them. Taking him in her arms, Rey closed her eyes as she felt Ben fall into her.

“Chewie, go to the cockpit and wait for me. We’ll take the Falcon down, while Ben reorganizes the mess I made.” With a dark groan, Chewie abandoned them. 

“I’m sorry, Rey…”

Breaking from their embrace, Rey looked at him, features cracking and bending as she nearly broke beside him. “Ben, don’t leave me again.” Resisting his attempt to kiss her, the scavenger shook her head. “I never formally finished training, but...I’ll help you with the Light as you aid me with the Dark.” Kissing his cheek, she walked away from him without another glance.

* * *

_Ajan Kloss_

_REY_

* * *

“This is goodbye, isn’t it?” Rey asked as the Falcon’s engine died. Pushing the last few buttons, Rey sank into her seat. “I don’t want you to hate me, Chewie, but I have to do this.”

“It’s not goodbye, Rey,” Chewie grumbled. “It’s only goodbye for now.” Though she thought he’d stand up, the Wookie remained seated for a moment. Turning toward her, he sighed. “Without the Resistance, you’re the last one of my friends left standing.”

Both of them let silence settle between them. Flipping a few switches, Rey sighed. “There will be a day where we take the Falcon and smuggle something, Chewie.”

“It wouldn’t be the same.”

“No, it wouldn’t,” Rey agreed, reaching her hand to touch his shoulder. “But it could be a start.”

“You’d bring Ben with you.”

After a moment, Rey dropped her hand. “I would.”

Chewie stared at her, and their silence deafened. The Wookie got up and walked out of the cockpit. In the distance, Rey heard the boarding ramp open. Chewie’s footsteps fell quiet. Exhaling, Rey wiped her eyes and stood, turning around. Rey rushed around the hallway and out of the Falcon, stopping only when she saw Lando on one of the ships bound to depart any moment.

The older man was dressed to impress, as usual. The few times they’d met, he’d always been the best dressed person in all the galaxy: until she’d seen Padme’s wardrobe. The two of them could stock a large gathering of guests between their collections. Rey knew Padme’s only grew by the day, though she wasn’t sure from where she’d had the credits to commission an entirely new closet. 

Probably from Ben.

Rey walked closer to Lando and Chewie, both whom exchanged a fond hug before pulling apart and joking about something. The moon was just as she’d remembered. For quite a long time, Rey had trained here with Leia. If she focused enough, the scavenger wondered if she could inspire a memory back to life. She’d give anything to hear her voice again.

“Rey!” Lando shouted, meeting her to briefly share in a warm grin and quick hug. “I heard you were back with the Resistance. Where’ve you been?”

“I was on Tatooine.”

Lando smirked, shaking his head as a chuckle shook his shoulders. “Of all the places you could retire to, and you chose the Outer Rim?”

“Master Luke had me go there for something. Though I hardly retired, I did unintentionally overstay my welcome.”

“How is the old man?”

Rey shielded her eyes from the bright sun, squinted even as her features faltered. “I imagine well,” she answered. “I haven’t heard much from him in a while.”

“That’s too bad. I’ve heard all sorts of rumors about the Force lately.” Lando stilled, eyes widening as he gasped and stepped forward. “I wouldn't have believed it unless I saw you with my own two eyes, kid.”

Rey checked over her shoulder, seeing Ben tentatively step out of the Falcon. Ben looked all around him, a sad smile growing brightening his expression. Upon stepping onto the jungle’s grassy terrain, Ben froze, eyes going wide. He turned to the side, eyes not moving from the stone slab Leia had died on when she’d stabbed her son with his own saber. Ben sought out Rey, shaking his head and narrowing his eyes as he approached Lando. Whatever he’d felt or seen, for now, he chose to address his family’s old friend.

Ben swallowed. “Hello, Lando.”

The old man stopped paces away from Ben, who honored his wish to keep his distance and paused. “It’s been a while.”

“To say the least.”

A Resistance fighter exited a ship and cupped her mouth. “Last call!”

Lando turned to Rey, moving toward her as Chewie did. The three of them stood around each other quietly, but it was Lando who took his leave first. “I’ll be seeing you.”

Rey glanced up at Chewie, who crossed his arms and looked over his shoulder. “You’ll miss them if you don’t go now.”

The Wookie checked back, his attention fixed on the Falcon. “Take care of that ship.”

“Do you know who you’re talking to?”

Chewie put his hand in her hair, scruffing it around until the top of her hair frizzed over. Ducking, the scavenger groaned. “Will you stop that?” The ship ignited to life, capturing her attention. Seeing the last of Lando’s retreating form enter it, Rey pointed. “Chewie, it’s fine. You need to go.”

The Wookie whined, the sound guttural and gripping. Rey laughed, refusing to let the unshed tears go from her control. “Take care of yourself,” he moaned. Sweeping her in a warm hug, The Wookie lifted her up, and she returned it. 

“When have I not?”

“You alone went to the Finalizer in a failed attempt to sway Ben back to the Light,” Chewie reminded her. “That wasn’t very smart.”

“You’ve done loads of stupid things, you big bear!”

Chewie groaned, letting go of her. “Name one!”

As she pulled away, Rey stared back at the ship preparing for take off. Tears stung her eyes. Sharing a look with the Wookie, she laughed, the sound clipped and melancholic. “Next time, my friend.” 

The scavenger’s smile waned the closer Chewie got to the ship. When he turned back, her tears spilled over her eyes. _Come back!_ The words she’d shouted at the ship taking her parents away rushed to the forefront of her mind. _No!_ Her childlike plea echoed across time. 

Arms wrapped around her, and the voices stopped. Gasping, Rey checked over her shoulder, seeing Ben dip in to kiss her cheek. Together, they watched as the last of her friends left them alone. The ship floated shortly before the pilot positioned them in the direction they needed. 

Ben wiped her tears away with his sleeve. “I won’t ever leave you again, Rey.”

The words stayed the thrashing emotion rallying in her heart. Folding his arms over her chest, Rey closed her eyes, knowing that her life would never again be as it once was. Only now she was complete.

The scavenger kept her eyes on the sky where the ship eventually disappeared. “I’m still mad at you.”

“I know,” he whispered. When he pulled back, she turned to him, seeing him lick his lips and look down at himself. “I brought possibly the worst clothing imaginable.”

“Humid, right?”

Ben fingered his collar and used it to fan his neck. Sweat beaded at his forehead. “I might have to rip off some of my sleeves…”

Rey checked his body from his toes to his bushy hair. “Or it could be an excuse to take your shirt _off_.” A blush warmed her face, but she didn’t try to look away. Instead, she acknowledged what he made her feel.

A satisfied grin defiled his expression. “The last time my shirt was off, you asked me to put a cowl on.”

Rey gestured around them. “I’m not sure if you’ve noticed, but times have changed.”

Ben laughed. “I hadn’t noticed,” he said lamely, his eyes widening briefly as he lifted his brows. 

Rey bit her bottom lip to hide her smile. “Well, I’ll just have to catch you up then.”

Sighing, Ben reached around to the small of her back and pulled her to him, joining his hands behind her. His expansive smirk made Rey’s toes curl. Dipping his head down to hers, Ben sought out her mouth with a brand of patience she’d never known in him before. Their tongues touched, and she caught her breath as he lowered his hands to cup her ass. Gently, he squeezed there, earning a quiet squeal from his scavenger. Pulling back, he stared down at her with open adoration. 

“Yes, ma’am.”

* * *

**Consider leaving your thoughts in the form of a review before you leave. :)**


	10. Faded Snapshots and Forgotten Dreams

**Author's Note:** I spent too much time working on this chapter. I wrote two versions to really explore the direction of this story. While I will give Ben & Rey their redemption happily ever after, it comes at the cost of Ben's past as Kylo Ren. I often wonder what he was like in his early days of his Dark side training under Snoke. Please read the story tags for all the content warnings. It's not what you think, but since in this story Ben lives, I feel it's necessary to explore the damage Snoke/Palpatine did to him to make him feel it was too late for him to go back to Leia the whole trilogy. It really defined his character, I think. He was so close to her, that I think it could have gone this way.

Cutting out this cuts out one of the most important aspects of Bendemption: living with the consequences of his actions. I hope you stick with me moving forward. I promise happy, smuttier shores are ahead! 

Enjoy!

* * *

**CHAPTER 10**

_Ajan Kloss_

_REY_

* * *

Through their bond, Rey and Ben could be in two places at once. Today was no exception. The training course set up by Leia was still operational, so Rey started her day by running the gauntlet. 

Though only on Ajan Kloss for less than a standard day, Rey had decided to try and establish a routine as quickly as possible. So, she’d arbitrarily chosen to start high with twenty-three times a day: one run for each year she’d lived. A single run only took a few standard minutes, and each time, she didn’t stop until she’d completed. Even if she made mistakes. 

Mistakes encouraged learning, so Leia always said. Perfection was best left an idea instead of a practice or standard. Their bond, however, proved to be more of a distraction whilst she ran the course.

Typically, she’d start in the early part of the morning, so she could leverage training in different environments in the dark and in the light. Rey woke first, but Ben rose shortly after she’d fled toward the course. By the time Rey realized that Ben would pester her in order for her to get struck by the small zap, she’d been on her fifth run.

_Relax, Rey._

“Hush!” Rey said, teeth clenched as she leapt up and avoided the blast. “You’re purposely trying to distract me!”

 _I have no idea what you mean._

“You said you don’t lie to me!”

Rey used her saber to block the blasts, each succession getting faster and harder to predict. Swallowing, she raced between the tall trees and swung the saber behind her, catching a stray blast as it pursued her. 

_It’s not lying if it’s flirting..._

Rey rolled her eyes, garnering all the mental blockades she could muster for the moment. The end was near, and anticipation brewed within her belly. It would be her first near-perfect run!

Until Ben phased in further down the course. His surroundings, as per usual, were concealed, but she knew he was on or around the Falcon. Doing stars knew what. “I’d meant to ask you when you returned, but could you tell me where on this moon we’re meant to wash?”

Rey shouted, quickly turning and barely shielding from a blast. “Go away!” she roared. Swinging her saber behind her, she hopped up on a thick tree brand and sprinting over the narrow divide in land. The pod chased her, spewing six blasts in quick succession. Rey blocked two, dropped her saber and caught it in her spare hand before blocking three more. The last blast she held out her free hand and directed away.

“This is meant to test your abilities with your saber, Rey.”

“I know!”

Ben looked up at her from below. “You’re still too slow.”

The energy around her squeezed, coiling her until she almost couldn’t breathe. Hopping down from the branch, she walked around him, stopping once she stood in front of him. Her breasts touched his chest as she heaved, accommodating to the cold anger nesting in her gut. A blast nicked her thigh, and she screamed. Holding out her hand, she swiped the air to the left, and the pod dropped to the ground.

“You’re supposed to help me train, Ben!”

When his mouth ticked up, Ben rubbed his mouth, poorly concealing his soft chuckle. “I am, Rey.”

“By being a pest?”

He quirked his brow. “It’s no different than before.”

“No?” Rey laughed. “You’re not trying to kill me or drag me to the Dark.”

Ben caught her by molding his arm around her narrow waist. Elegantly, he spun her around like she was a highborn lady dancing with him somewhere. When she stepped out too soon, he froze her body before she could sprain her ankle. Throwing him a glare, Rey shoved at him, though he managed to root himself to the ground and ignore her use of the Force.

“Was I ever _really_ out to kill you?”

“You’re impossible.” Rey ground her teeth together. “Do you know that?”

Ben stroked the side of her face, his eyes gentle as he towered over her. “Tell me where I need to go to bathe.”

“Oh, no, buddy. You’re on your own!” 

Rey slipped out of his grasp but didn’t get very far. Ben grabbed her from behind and caught her by her hips. Rey closed her eyes, shivering against his hard, tight body. Swallowing, she bore her teeth and grunted in a feeble attempt to escape him. Heat from his palm resonated on her belly, just over her belly button. Licking her lips, Rey leaned her head back on his shoulder, moaning as he moved his hand up to just below her breasts. Breath quickening, Rey bit down on her bottom lip until blood drew. It seeped into her mouth, and Rey felt electrified when she tasted her own metallic blend.

“The Dark side opposes the Light, Rey.” Ben took her earlobe in his teeth, biting until her self-inflicted pain had company. Groaning, his spine rocked a shudder up and down. Rey reached for his pants, grasping at the fabric at his outer thigh. 

She needed so much more.

“Suffering brings strength,” Ben whispered. “The Force mandates order. There is a connection between love and evil. Love invites the nature of revenge, anger, and bitterness inherent to close relationships in one’s heart.” Ben nipped her skin. “Do you feel it, too, Rey?”

“Yes.” The way vengeance and fury underscored his voice as he murmured her name on her skin sent ripples of tremors across her body. She wondered what other secrets Ben knew about the Dark. Smiling, Rey opened her eyes, privately swearing to the treetops that she’d know the Force more intimately than anyone else.

“Our goal is for you to wield this mindstate like your saber. Like a weapon you’ll use to cut down your enemies without the intoxication that blinded me and so many before me.” Ben placed his hand at her heart, injecting within her his warmth, and the cold world disintegrated behind a backdrop of black splendor. The mystery alone was enough to pique her heightened sense of curiosity, but Ben cast the veil back in her mind as he transferred his energy into her. “It’s too dangerous for you to know more right now. We’ll work slowly until you can control the Dark in morsels. We’ll routinely test your strength, but we won’t push you like I did on Pasaana. Not yet.”

When she turned around, Rey was back in the Falcon. Looking around them, Rey saw various parts encircling a kyber crystal on the game table. Her eyes widened, and she glanced back at Ben. “You’re building a new saber?”

Ben sighed. “When I passed along the old Jedi books to Anakin, I heard it calling me from within the small pouch in your bag.”

“The components are…”

“From old Falcon parts...and the Naboo black market.”

Rey touched the cylindrical part. It had been expertly stitched together from a few different pieces to create the shape of the hilt. The design was quite similar to his other one thrown into the ocean. The one she still carried. “You started this before I got to Naboo.” Gently, Rey guided her fingers down the long, custom hilt. A thin smile softened her grim features. “Why didn’t you tell me?”

“I either wanted it to be a surprise, or I didn’t want you to look like you do right now.” Rey glanced back at him. Ben’s face sagged, deflating of the life that was just there. “Either way, I don’t want dad’s death to always stand between us, Rey.”

Rey’s mouth hung open, but she withdrew from the table and moved to Ben, brushing her fingers over his jawline. “Leia thought he forgave you the moment he stepped down onto the bridge. She said she sensed his resolution in his final seconds. She knew his peace.”

“Doesn’t make it _right_.”

She could only nod. “I know, but it’s a start.” A smile ticked her mouth upward. “Are you imitating your old saber?”

Eye twitching, Ben took her face in his hands. “The design was the most suitable for my fighting style. You’ll have to wait and see what’s changing.”

“It was too heavy. I never appreciated what it meant to have a saber all your own until I crafted mine.”

Ben laughed, bringing her in for a brief kiss. “Why did you find and repair it? Even if I’m gone, why would you want to remember Kylo Ren?”

“Because, for better or worse, he was all you gave me for a while.” Rey looked down, shaking the building tears away. Taking a deep breath, she said, “For the longest time, just having it close by was the only way I felt your presence at all...even if only in unpleasant memories.”

“No matter what happens, Rey, we will share a long and happy life together.” Ben’s features twisted as several emotions battled for dominance in his expression. Rey brushed his hair back, but he caught her hand before she pulled away, pressing a gentle kiss into her wrist’s pulse point. “I’ll do everything in my power to see it happen.”

The wind from where she physically was blew against her back, but she still remained on the Falcon. All around them, life’s heartbeat nudged them. It was still dark outside, though the rays of the nearby sun did cut through the trees along every horizon as their bond shifted them from the Falcon to the training course, until finally settling on the Falcon for the remainder of their conversation.

“I don’t know where your conviction comes from, but I believe you, Ben.” 

Ben claimed her mouth, smoothing over her small grin as he teased her mouth open for his eager exploration. Ben’s large hand straddled her collarbone, making her moan. Anticipation sang across her body as she waited to see if he would push her by lowering her hand or if he’d move higher like he’d done since returning. He both surprised her and disappointed her by staying still. 

Groaning, Rey walked him backwards until he backed against the wall. His hands moved down her body until he grabbed her rear and hauled her up to look down at him. Leisurely, one of his hands moved up to the small of her back just as she arched her spine. Ben swallowed her moans, her pleasure his for the taking. When he started turning, Rey wrapped her legs around his hips as he shoved her back against the wall of the Falcon.

“You haven’t told me where I need to go to bathe. We should conserve our resources.” 

Rey’s arms slid along the curve of his strong shoulders and up around his neck. His pulse almost electrified her. Ben smothered her with his mouth, but Rey discovered that, so long as it was he who explored her, she rather enjoyed being claimed. Dominated. 

The expanse of his broad shoulders cradled her, holding her as his hostage as he pressed his hips into her ass. His desire needed no questioning. Ben Solo’s body was, in some ways, perfect. In her brief travels, she’d seen men who towered over her, who’d bulged out of their cowls. Not a lot, but enough. The human form came in a curious wide variety, and she’d never taken a second look at any one of them. 

Although he drowned his torso in a black long sleeve shirt, Rey felt the hard, unrelenting wall that was each muscle in his chest. Running her hands over his biceps, Rey committed each peak and valley to memory under the soft feel of his thick shirt. Rey broke from his kiss to chart a path across his body from his mouth to his throat’s pulse. 

“Ben,” she whispered. Clasping her mouth over the beating pulse, Rey mimicked what he’d done to her a few times and sucked, her pressure not quite as an assault on his skin as his was on hers. Hesitation crashed into her belly, her every action asking a dozen questions of his quivering, quiet body. “I don’t know what I’m doing.”

His strong palm tangled in her bound hair, his palm resting against her temple. Gently, she felt him peruse her mind. Tapping against his presence in her head, Rey watched as he found his way through her memories, shifting away the ones he didn’t need. Dragging her in for a tormenting kiss, Ben groaned like he was in pain as he led her deeper into pleasure while still exploring the labyrinth of her thoughts. 

When Rey’s body slackened, the apex of her thighs ground against the thick bulge between his legs. Ben stilled, hand and body trembling with exhausting force. He whispered her name like it had the power to mend the broken universe. Rey’s mouth returned to his, and the anticipation blended with a confidence she’d not yet officially met. Fingers crawling down the hard stretch of his back, Rey’s destination was Ben’s ass, but his warm, trembling hands stopped her pursuit.

Otherwise, he stood frozen between her thighs. “Tell me to stop, Rey.”

Something pinched in her head, and Rey finally paid attention to what he sought from her mind. He watched as she followed the manufactured path to the bathing pool, which was only a small pond a way out from the base for obvious reasons. Shifts had been established back when the Resistance used this as their base to respect everyone’s privacy.

Now it was just them.

They remained quiet as he observed her moving closer to the bathing pool, slowly unraveling her complicated garb along the way. The memory rushed forward, showing him how to get there. Only his attention was fixed on her retreating form. Gathering the stray wraps and hangings in her hands, she stopped by the pool’s edge in only her underclothes and pants. Rey tugged her binds out of her hair, shaking her head so that the tight locks fell free around her face.

“Rey! Shut me out.” Ben reached for her stomach, his shaky fingers clawing at her belly. “Now.” Somehow, the steelike bulge against her got harder. Almost unbearable against her tender, tingling center. 

In the memory, Rey unwrapped her top from around her chest. With each rotation around her body, the unraveling fabric showed him skin no one had seen of her. Though her back was to him, there was something so vulnerable about seeing him watch her. It made her feel reckless and beautiful, a joining of confidence and fear tethering between her heart and mind. Although a girl, the scavenger had spent her whole life surviving. No one had given to her what he offered at this moment.

Ben’s expression made her feel wanted, protected, and loved. Rey wouldn’t stop it on his behalf. She’d never known that this could be emotions she could experience firsthand.

It wasn’t as if she didn’t know about sex. People had to do what they could to survive on Jakku, and men had offered her a week’s protection if only for a few minutes spent sharing their cots. She’d been no older than ten when it first had happened, but Rey had always been strong. Those who sought to hurt her, she’d always outran or outwitted. She knew all the best hiding places within each destroyed starship buried and forgotten on the remote, barren planet. Though sometimes she’d had to go without portions for a little over a week, Rey was still here.

Over the time training with Leia, she’d developed a significant friendship with Poe, who’d always slipped in an innuendo here and there to make Finn and her chuckle when the First Order got too close or threatened their progress too much. On occasion, Leia sometimes revealed pieces of her tumultuous history with Han. Never in explicit detail, but enough to imply what transpired.

Swallowing, Rey watched Ben as he stared at her memory. In only a matter of seconds, she shed her pants and under clothes, still facing the water away from him. Back in reality, Ben grit his teeth and moved his hands to her arms, gripping her with punishing force.

“Rey...you’re perfect.” 

Ben’s hues dilated, black swarming those brown irises as his hands tightened on her. Although she clenched her teeth, Rey accepted his torment on her body. Hair fell in front of his eyes, and she slipped out of her mind to steal a kiss. However, Ben’s hand planted on her chest, stopping her from approaching him. Each feature on his countenance twitched or trembled, working chaos into every last stitch of skin until it remained a permanent fixture.

The Force tightened between them as she used it to cling to him and he commanded it to pry per off of him. One limb at a time. Although she managed to hold onto his arm, he cast her legs from around him like she was a sickness wanting to infect his system. His order. Tears pooled like stars in her eyes. The only warmth this galaxy reserved for her was the spot on his wrist she still clung to. 

Snoke’s voice invaded her mind, echoey and hollow just like the memory’s signature. _You didn’t think she actually wanted you. Did you?_ The storm rocking over Kylo Ren’s younger features made her grip her throat as bile burned up her chest. Kylo Ren, in this memory, couldn’t be older than twenty-five. The Force suffocated around him as he stared down at a woman, who held herself in a ball on the floor. Rey hadn’t ever heard such soul-crushing screaming in all her life. Until she watched as Kylo Ren fell to his knees and reached for her.

_I’ve long since sensed conflict blur your focus, boy. For many years, I’ve offered to you what none other would be worthy of. You’re the heir of Skywalker and Darth Vader, the only one capable of fulfilling the destiny he crudely stripped himself of._

The woman lost more of her mind when Kylo Ren reached for her, his touch pushing her off of some emotional cliff that kept her free falling further down into madness. 

_Do you think I would let you walk away from the Dark side as easily, boy? I gave her to you to explore your passion, your hatred, and your power. You dare defile all the work I’ve done to her mind!_

Kylo Ren crawled away from the woman as he vomited to his side. The man could not bring himself to look at her. He was a monster, and the Force burned all around him. The man punched the ground over and over until blood splattered from his torn gloves. When the pain snuck into Rey, the scavenger fell to her knees and sobbed. Kylo Ren kept hitting the ground until Rey heard his bones crunch against the slippery metal floor of this training facility. Only when his fighting hand was rendered useless did he start sobbing, his forehead banging against the floor now. In waves, his body convulsed as the Force’s warmth abandoned him, leaving him alone with only his new master’s voice and the cool texture of the Dark side.

 _Did you think you could walk away from me, boy? Did you think I didn’t know about everything? I’ve been with you your whole life. And at the first sign of feelings, you’re ready to abandon all I’ve given you._ Snoke’s voice raged in maddening waves, echoes that crashed against the walls. _The only girl you’ve taken these few years has, all along, been unwillingly and unknowingly under my influence. And because you sought to know her mind, you’ve broken through my control. It will be the only time you ever defy me, Kylo Ren. You will kill her as you will kill your father. This is no mercy. You, alone, broke her, boy. There’s no turning back now. What would your mother do when she finds out about what you’ve done to this woman?_

“I DIDN’T KNOW!” Kylo Ren’s bloodied body trembled against the floor. “I wouldn’t have…” His chest caved in, and as he heaved, desperate for air, Rey felt the stabbing at his back. Kylo Ren struggled to stand up, a phenomenal roar raging from one end of the large hall to the other until, like him, it withered away. “You did this! You made me into a monster!”

 _This_ was how Ben Solo died. 

Rey’s eye widened just as Ben Solo shoved her away from him, but his memory ensnared her. She was a prisoner of his past.

_Rise, Kylo Ren, my apprentice. Claim your birthright, and cut down this girl. Slaughter the conflict within you. It’s too late for you now. You’ve tasted the Dark side. You’re drunk on power, and I hoard an endless supply, boy. Her life is meaningless. Kill her as you will strike down...Han Solo, your worthless father who abandoned you along with your waste of a mother._

Rey closed her eyes, sinking further into the memory until she laced her presence with his thoughts. 

“I never wanted this...it can’t be true. I don’t want this,” one side of his mind chanted, the words brimming with his breaking hope. Exploring the caverns of his thoughts, Rey latched onto other darker musings. “Ben Solo is dead. You’ve killed yourself. There’s no going back now. Mother won’t love you once she knows of this. She’ll never be your mother again. It’s time to let the past die.” The vicious words grew louder until the soft chants died away over a long stretch of time.

Sound and time froze. She was taken to a storm of stars sparkling dimly along a curtain of black galaxy. Gravity had no presence here, yet she still stood on something as a menacing voice growled behind her.

“Who are you?” Kylo Ren asked, voice monstrous and cold. His heart gradually pounded louder like a war drum readying troops to battle. “How are you in my head?”

Rey turned around, stepping back. Looking around the depth of blackness, the scavenger exhaled. “Ben?” Reality had to set back in. Was she trapped in the past?

“How do you know that name?” Kylo extended his hand out to her, but the attack did not reach her. It stopped paces from where she stood. “WHO ARE YOU?”

“Just a girl from nowhere. A scavenger.” Rey held her ground as Kylo Ren stalked toward her. Though he had no saber here in this void, she felt him attempt to break her mind, but it was, again, an attempt in vain. “I’m your reckoning, Kylo Ren.”

He stopped until their noses almost touched. When he tried to grab her throat, his hand phased through her. Screaming at her face, Kylo Ren’s features were menacing, ferocious. Wild. “We’ll see.”

Rey’s back hit a nearby tree back on Ajan Kloss. The Millenium Falcon was no longer around her. Nor was Ben. Searching the fauna of the jungle floor, she reached for her saber and ran north, the opposite direction of camp. When she reached the split in the ground, she hopped up on the large tree branch, pausing when she felt Ben’s chaotic signature press against her mind. 

_Rey!_

“You’re hiding from me, Ben…so _that’s_ how you knew who I was.” The scavenger leapt up onto a tree and scaled up it just like the ships back on Jakku. He couldn’t track her if she left no prints behind. When she was high enough, Rey hopped onto another tree and continued her pursuit away from their camp. “Was she the only one?”

_I obeyed Snoke’s every last order until that day. I learned to conceal parts of my mind off from him over time, Rey. I never knew she was under his control until then, and I never took another woman within the First Order again or a woman he could have been connected to. I always searched for his traces in their minds before anything happened._

Rey sensed Ben running, but she kept their bond closed as much as she could. The Force danced between their chaos. Rey’s heart raced.

_That day...it was the first time I saw you, and I knew then that there were beings out there more powerful than Snoke. I fought with him, so that one day I could kill him myself. I only had to get stronger and bide my time until I found you and exact the revenge that fed my soul and became the source of my power...until I met you. I never saw you coming, Rey._

Rey stopped, gripping a tree branch. Tears fell down her face. “I can’t be with you if you keep pushing me away, Ben. Everything’s such a mess, but Snoke used the last traces of Ben Solo you held onto against you. Is this why you keep saying we can’t…”

_Rey...I want to see you. Let me in._

“I’m tired of people keeping secrets from me, Ben. You should know by now that I’m not leaving you. What are you still holding onto that’s keeping you from me?” In the distance, a speeder roared from the direction of their camp. Rey looked east, knowing where she could run to for the night. Chest heaving, she Force jumped across trees until she landed on a tree trunk that had an opening leading inside the trunk. Rey quickly tucked herself inside the dark trunk and covered her mouth. _This is why you’re constantly asking if things you do are okay..._

The speeder slowed down several paces to her west, but she heard Ben screaming. “REY!” At first, Ben’s voice trailed off the further west he traveled. Her name was a chant on his mouth as he brokenly searched for her. _I’m afraid of hurting you, Rey._

The scavenger slammed her eyes shut and rested her forehead against her knees from within the trunk. _Your fear runs deeper than that._

_Where are you?_

_Say it, Ben. You must face your deepest fears. You cannot run me. We’re not alone._

“I’m afraid Ben Solo’s really dead. I’m afraid that I’ll always be Kylo Ren.” Rey gasped. His voice was louder than she’d expected. His boots cracked a few fallen twigs as he approached her tree. Rey’s heart rate surged with a life all its own, and she realized he’d probably used it to find her. Ben grunted as he climbed the same tree she hid in. 

Igniting her saber, Rey spun around and cut through the wood until she ducked down while the tree top fell down toward the ground. The heat from the sun almost burned her. Swallowing, she summoned energy to help her flip over a tree and land on another; however, she overestimated how much of the Force she needed. When she landed, Rey’s ankle rolled, her bone whining from the pressure. Her eyes bulged out as she bent down and howled. The pain accelerated, and her body went cold, but Rey closed her eyes and bit her lip as she channeled the agony, trimming down her field of view until she only saw the nearby branch. 

A low, nearby grunt caused her sharpen her focus and lunge toward the opposing treetop, catching a branch with her hands to avoid landing on her feet. He was so close to her, and she honestly didn’t understand why running away from him was vital. Rey wasn’t afraid of him or of the memory she saw. 

Everything was because of her. Her family lineage. Palpatine. Something carved out a hollow space in her chest where her heart was, and she clutched her garb to try to catch it before the black hole swallowed her whole. If her grandfather had never existed, perhaps the Force and the galaxy could know peace. Bile rose in her throat, and when Ben neared, she cringed back and shook her head. Ultimately, her back hit a tree trunk. Hobbling, Rey slid down the bark and curled into a ball, face sinking between her thighs. He reached for her, but she shied away. 

“Even from his grave, Palpatine rules over us.”

Ben touched her ankle, and heat flooded her body. Any trace of her inner chaos slowly dwindled from a raging storm to nothing more than a ripple in reverse until it disappeared altogether. Rey still hid her face from him, and he made no move to push her to face him. “We can only blame so much on him, Rey.”

“This is different. I felt the Light leave you. There was still good in you then.”

Ben moved his hand up her leg and settled on her knee. “I underestimated him. I should have known Snoke messed with her mind as a failsafe to keep me from going back, Rey. If I had been stronger, I could have seen it. Like I said. Once I tasted the Dark side, all I wanted was more. It blinded me, and now I have to pay for it.”

Rey choked on a quiet sob, but timidly lifted her face to look at him. “All those times you said it was too late for you to go back to the Light…”

Ben sat far away from her, but still close enough to touch her. As his shoulders shivered, his sweat-drenched hair fell in front of his anguished hues. “I don’t know how I’m supposed to forget everything I’ve done and pretend to be a pillar of the Light.”

Rey pinched her brows together and rolled her ankle around, feeling no pain. Holding her hand out, Ben reluctantly took it and crawled toward her, crossing his legs and pulling her in his lap. “No one’s reaching out for you in the Force?”

Ben gasped when she smoothed back his damp hair, as if her touch physically hurt him, and searched her eyes. “Who would want to?”

“You’ve known intimacy only through torture, pain, and agony, Ben Solo. You’ve endured so much and inflicted just as equally. Even when Palpatine drained us of our lifeforce, you took it silently. I’ve not experienced anything like that in my life apart from living the three years without you. But you _are_ the pillar of the Light. You must exchange the pain for peace.”

Ben took her face in his gentle hands. These hands had done so much evil, yet the way he touched her almost made her forget the raw power he possessed. Kissing his fingers, Rey rested her forehead against his. “I don’t know how, Rey.”

Rey’s breath caught in her throat. They search each other’s features. Longing, love, and heartbreak broke her expression. Reaching for the edge of his shirt, Rey slipped her hand underneath and stroked his hot skin. His abs clenched underneath her touch, and he tried to throw her off of him, but Rey stilled him with a kiss. It was the most intimate they’d been, and she’d been the one to initiate. Swallowing, Rey moved back and kissed the pulse point on his neck. “Make love to me, Ben,” she whispered.

Ben reached her, his palm fanning over her neck and jaw, fingers brushing her parting lips. He pinched his brows, and shook his head. “I can’t, Rey. I don’t know how.”

“You can, Ben. You won’t hurt me.”

“How can you know that?” Ben asked. His eyes refracted the sunlight that radiated down over them through unspilled tears. He settled his hand over her heart and shook his head. “I was designed to hurt people.”

“Ben, look at me.” When he gave her his dark eyes, Rey’s mouth twitched. Bringing him in for a chaste kiss, the scavenger held either side of his face and made sure he looked straight at her. “No one will ever abuse you or your mind again, Ben.”

“Rey…”

“Do you hear me? You will have to live with what you’ve done, Ben,” Rey said, sliding her hand back down to the edge of his shirt. She waited for his breaths to match her steady, paced ones before continuing. “But we will heal as best as we can. There is Light within you. I feel it each time you touch my hand. Give me your Dark, and I shall always be here to make sure you’re never hurt again. That you’ll never hurt others again.”

Ben shook beside her, eyes closing as he pressed his head to her. She trailed her other hand up and down his spine, helping him ease the anguish from his chest. “I love you, Rey.”

“I know,” Rey whispered. Nudging him with the tip of her nose, she kissed the edge of his mouth, feeling him fighting a blooming smile. “You’ve called me your wife, Ben.” Her voice hitched as she exhaled, shivering against him. “So take what’s yours.”

Ben’s breaths were labored, like breathing suddenly became an impossible task he’d forgotten how to do. Releasing his tears, Ben nodded once. Exactly as he did when they exchanged Anakin’s lightsaber against Palpatine. “What about training?”

“Ben, this _is_ part of your training.”

A smile punctuated this moment as they stared into each other’s eyes. When Ben tickled her skin with a soft chuckle, Rey moved over him, claiming his mouth. He flattened his palms against hers and folded her fingers over as they deepened the kiss. He broke it only to say, “Not here.”

Rey chased his mouth with hers. “I love you, Ben Solo.”

“And I love you, Rey Solo.”

* * *

**Consider leaving your thoughts in the form of a review before you leave. :)**


	11. Love Dance

**Author's Note:** Honestly, last chapter scared me. I thought no one would stick around. Thank you for all the wonderful comments and reviews! Here is what most of you signed up and waited for! See you next time! There should be another update tomorrow!

Enjoy!

* * *

**CHAPTER 11**

_Ajan Kloss_

_REY_

* * *

Before Rey could even make it halfway up the Falcon’s ramp, Ben tugged her around to face him. From where they stood, she was as tall as he was. Eye to eye. His strong hands molded to the natural bend in her waist, his thumbs dangerously close to the sides of her breasts. Their breaths tangled, binding them together as he lazily leaned into her and claimed her mouth, a hum at the back of her throat serenading them as he walked her back into the Falcon. 

Rey didn’t know what her eyes revealed, only that Ben couldn’t stop watching her dark hues. His watch was nerve wracking. The scavenger and this defected Supreme Leader of the First Order tiptoed their way to the crews’ quarters. Every step of this small journey she’d surrendered to him. Eventually, he got close enough to her so that she could wrap her arms around his hips. Unsure of where he would take them, Rey studied him, mirroring whatever he did to the best of her ability. 

Until he smirked. 

Palms dampening with each step closer he guided them toward the room, the scavenger blinked more times than she remembered in the span of time starting from the ramp up into the ship to where they stood: just beyond the quarters. The intensity in his firm stare down over her swept her up as her body became a battleground. Desire rallied on one end of the field, while her nerves rattled the ground as it assembled its fleet of drums and other assorted instruments. Between both sides left her to deal with the aftermath.

Breathless, Rey pinched her brows when her fast exhale stuttered between her throat and chest. Biting her lip, she allowed him to continue hunting her like she was his only prey in the whole galaxy. All the volcanic lava in the universe couldn’t compare to the heat boiling in his hues. Clutching onto his thick shirt, Rey stumbled over her feet, uncharacteristically clumsy for a second. He caught her by wrapping his steelike arm around her lower back. When she tried muttering thanks, the syllables just blended together, and she inwardly cringed. The scavenger had faced the source of most evil in their part of the universe, and not even then was she this stupidly nervous. 

Ben reached for her saber, tossing it on a nearby chair like it was garbage. His eyes didn’t move from hers, even as he reached for her wraps. Rey fidgeted, her hands moving to his to attempt to help him with her garb, but she ended up blocking him from getting very far.

Ben’s smile grew, and heat struck her face. “Where is this coming from? Just a few minutes ago, you were telling me to take what’s mine. Now you’re just a puddle of nerves at my feet.”

“I w-wouldn’t say I’m a p-puddle, Ben…”

Ben unrolled her tight wraps once before she squirmed again. An itch agitated her features, but for some reason, he started to laugh. At her. “Relax, Rey.”

“I was relaxed in the trees.”

“Your first time,” Ben started, stopping only once she pointed at him.

“ _Our_ first time! Don’t turn this on me.”

Rolling his eyes, he sighed. “So sorry, sweetheart. _Our_ first time won’t be as savage as mine.”

“Ben, maybe we should talk some before we…” 

Ben groaned, hauling her up in his arms and shoving his mouth on hers. Rey whimpered, hands gravitating to his hair and holding onto him for dear life as they resumed their frantic exploration since he’d come back to her. Ripping each tie from her hair, he massaged her scalp and moaned into her mouth, the sound reverberating down her throat and into her chest. Tongues sliding over and around the other, they entangled their bodies as he dropped her on the bed and sank to his knees. 

“For someone who wears as little fabric as you do, your outfit is too complicated for my patience right now. If you wish to spare this ridiculous ensemble from my wrath, Rey, you’ll strip yourself in thirty standard seconds or less. Whatever’s left afterward was meant to be destroyed.” Ben’s chest heaved, and he immediately ripped her boot from her foot. That was how Rey knew he meant every word. 

“You will not! I only have four of these.” 

A chuckle escaped from his throat. “If you think negotiating is something that’s ever worked with me, you should have been a senator, Mrs. Solo. You’d have had _far_ better odds on Coruscant.” Ben tugged on her other boot, which bended to his will with ease. “You now have fifteen seconds.”

The scavenger glared at him as she tried to control her frenzied fingers. Handling a buckle of her belts, Rey inhaled, willing for the tears stinging her eyes to go away. They didn’t, the traitors. Her chest expanded and contracted at a rate that left her breathless. Growing up in a desert alone had starved her of how to be a woman. Never had her upbringing been so humiliating. 

Rey met his gaze as tears fell from her eyes. Gesturing to herself, she put her hands on the sides of her head. Shaking it, she released the breath trapped in her chest. “I don’t know why I’m so nervous, Ben!”

Staring at her a while, Ben nodded, taking in a deep breath, and gathered her in his arms. “I’m not trying to pressure you, Rey.”

Covering her face, the scavenger sank into his chest. “I know, I know! Of course when _you’re_ ready, I lose my mind...”

“Forget what I said, Rey.”

Lifting from him, she balled the fabric of his shirt on her fists. “I just want, for once in my life, to not be Rey from Nowhere.” Wiping her tears away, she grumbled. “It would be so nice to know exactly what to say...to know what to do.” While she stumbled over her vocalized thoughts, Ben busied his hands and unlatched her belt with impressive ease. When he tugged on one of her cross straps, Rey knit her brows together. “What are you doing?”

“I’m learning how to get you naked.”

The scavenger shook her head, looking horrified. A low squeal rumbled in her throat. “See _that’s_ not helping!”

Ben lifted a brow. “No?” He blinked slowly, synced with a loud, deep breath as he concentrated too hard on his task. “Tuck your head, so can I lift this hood over you.”

Rey complied, distracted. “It’s comments like _that_ that are decidedly not helpful.”

“So I shouldn’t instruct you as I help you undress? Duly noted.”

Sighing, she shook her head. “No, I meant comments like the one about getting me naked, specifically.” Shaking her hands, she fidgeted a bit more. “Not when I’m feeling like this.”

The man before her tinkered with the cloth at her waist, unlatching it and unraveling more parts of her garb. Eventually, he looked at her. “We’re still on that? Okay.”

Rey stood up with him, and he tugged up on the main chest piece, waiting for her to instinctively lift her arms over her head, which she did. Crinkling her nose, she drew her head back, glaring at him with narrowed eyes. “ _Okay?_ That’s all you have to say?”

“Yep.” Ben cast the pieces of her garb onto the floor, nodding once before directing his focus back onto her. “I think I got most of this madness sorted.”

“You’re not even listening to me, are you?” Rey glanced down at her body to make an example out of something, until she realized she stood before him in only her pants and undershirt. Mouth hanging open, she scoffed. “How did you do that?”

“I didn’t use the Force, if that’s what you’re asking.” Crossing his arms, he pecked her mouth with his and reached for her waist. “No more, Rey. I’ve pictured this moment a thousand times a million different ways. I never thought we’d be standing here with my cock ready and hard for you while we argue,” Ben grumbled. Shoving his hands through his hair, he tugged her off the bed toward him while a blush burned up her face. “It’s just not the most effective way to keep me in the mood, being that this is literally what my parents did when they were together.”

The image that infested her mind made a giggle tickle her throat. The noise was barely audible, but it was her smile that cut through his agitation. Ben shared a quiet laugh with her and dropped his head to hers as he trailed his finger from her lips down between her small breasts. 

“I don’t know why I’m laughing. I’m completely serious.”

Rey reached for his hand, her fingers like a whisper on his skin as she absently dragged them from his wrist to his elbow. The brief contact was enough to give the butterflies in her stomach a bit of gravity. Biting her lip, she searched his eyes and stepped toward him.

“This isn’t at all how I imagined it to be, either.”

Ben grabbed her chin and pushed his mouth against hers, the bridge of his nose nudging hers. The humor evaporated in his hues; instead, a rush of need charged them back to life. His breath was quick. “You’ve thought about this, too?”

Her chin bumped against his fingers as she nodded. “I’m surprised you never caught on, really. I was terrified you were privy. Although our circumstances were always complicated, even when you weren’t...you, I still wanted you in ways I really don’t understand.”

Something in his expression changed, but Rey didn’t have enough time to catch it. He touched one of her breasts, and the scavenger gasped, the breath sharp and stinging slightly. “What did you imagine, Rey?” Ben loosened her pants and started to lower them until they pooled at her ankles. “What was it like?”

Swallowing, Rey closed her eyes as she kicked the pants away from them, reaching for his waist. He busied himself with her undershirt, which was the last layer before she was topless. With expert precision, Ben yanked it from her body, and let it slip down into their pile of her garb. Crossing her arms over her chest, Rey shivered. It was the only time she’d been so exposed to anyone.

Ben cupped her neck and tilted her head back, those dark eyes never leaving hers as he pulled her arms free. Blinking, he closed his eyes and took her mouth. Breaking away from her, he trembled against her, keeping those lids tightly shut. “Please tell me, Rey. You can’t say something like that and not elaborate.”

Shaking, Rey rolled her hands at the wrist and flexed her fingers. Her cheeks had never been hotter. Swallowing, the scavenger grabbed his shirt, but he held it down. Groaning, she sighed. “After the lift ride up to see Snoke, I saw you, not only as Kylo Ren but as Ben Solo, so in my dreams you were always kind. Gentle with me, despite always looking like you wanted to murder me.”

The corner of his mouth ticked, but he held in his laughter. “Rey, I’ve waited for you for _so_ long. I almost didn’t believe you were real.” Opening his eyes, Ben drank in the sight of her bare chest, hands taking her by her hips. Guiding her back to sit on the edge of the bed, he lifted his black shirt over his head and flung it across the room. “I’m going to do to you what I’ve never allowed myself to do for another, Rey.” Scratching the back of his head, he sighed. “To be honest, I probably won’t be very good at it right now, but I intend to get in all the practice I can.”

When her palm brushed his heaving chest, she breathed a sigh of relief. Comparing their bodies, he was easily four times her size. Her body was nimble, thin, and small. Everything good if one was to survive as a scavenger. Rey stared at his bare flesh, admiring and memorizing each and every scar there. She didn’t know why he still didn’t touch her. Just a few minutes ago, he was about ready to tear her clothes off.

“I’m trying to savor this for us,” Ben said, as if reading her thoughts. His big hands cupped both of her small breasts. Rey moaned, falling back against the bed and arching her back as he slid a hand to fit at the small of her back. Ben pressed a quick kiss over her heart and charted a path up to her mouth. Losing his hands in her loose hair, Ben crawled between her thighs, showing her what she did to him. 

Rey gasped, her moan airy and scratchy. Ben continued to grind his cock into her center, not stopping like the many times he’d done so previously. Taking full advantage of her open mouth, Ben laced his tongue with hers, and they sparred until he had to pull away so she could catch her breath. Under his hulkish weight, Rey writhed against his body, a shiver rocking from her shoulders down to her toes, which curled. Rey folded her arms under his and felt moisture pool between her thighs. The feel of his naked skin against hers made her eyes well. 

“I don’t know how anyone could do this with someone they don’t love and trust.”

Ben’s mouth lifted. Brushing her hair back from her sweaty, sticky face, he hungrily dusted sweet kisses over her face, lingering once again on her lips until parting. “It’s not always like this, Rey.”

When Ben held his length at the apex of her thighs, Rey opened her eyes. Although she had curves, they were rather minimal given how thin she was. Forehead creasing, the scavenger blinked and shook her head. “It should be,” she whimpered. His cock prodding her felt too big for her body. Biting her bottom lip, she searched his eyes. “Ben…”

Continuing the relentless pressure against her, Ben found the pulse beating at her neck as she stretched her head back. The only thing separating them was his thick pants and her undergarments. He drove her wild with need. 

“Rey, we can talk later. For now, let me love you.”

Cupping her bare waist, Ben busied his other hand with her nipple. Arching her head back, she gripped the sheets, hearing a snag somewhere along the edge. Taking the nub between his teeth, he played with her flesh, working a soft moans from her throat. The need to touch him overwhelmed her, so her jittery hands searched for his body, eventually resting in his hair and chest. Arching up into him, both of them shared a mutual deep breath, their stomachs pushing against each other and deflating. The length of him was so warm, Rey nearly forgot about the cold waiting for her just beyond this bed. 

Abandoning her breast, Ben pressed his lips at the center of her chest and started a slow path down the expanse of her tight belly, stopping only at the edge of her undergarments. Looping his index fingers around the top of either side, he started to slide them down, lustful hues not breaking his contact with hers. Rey shifted her legs when he pulled away, and Ben ejected the fabric away from them. His eyes were nearly black they were so dilated.

“Why aren’t you bare, too?”

His body loomed over her much like the way a star destroyer’s shadow darkened the world below it. Rey studied his expression, recognizing only a few emotions sputtering in and out. Pulling his body off the bed, he sank to his knees on the floor, wrapping his big hands around her hips and taking her with him to the edge of the bed. He kissed her inner thigh and adjusted himself so that he could lean over her and spend a few seconds sucking at her stomach, lazily guiding her legs over both his shoulders. 

Flexing her feet, she curled her toes as she arched her back against him. He moved down over to the patch of hair between her legs and turned to one of her thighs, playfully biting the sensitive flesh there. She jerked, but he held her steady. 

The Force buzzed life all around them, but in this bed it was just the two of them. The Falcon was quiet until Rey heard gentle tapping on the roof. It was raining. The ramp was still open. If she concentrated hard enough, she could hear the faint sounds of the local wildlife.

Ben prodded her entrance with two fingers, tracing the shape of her as she felt him abandon the impatience he’d had moments ago. He took his time as he explored her, his mouth groaning and kissing and suckling the inside of both thighs. Rey squirmed when he slid his fingers inside of her, stilling when he struggled to gentle and encouraging words. He pressed the pad of his thumb onto a spot that made her body quake upon his impact.

_Ben!_

Rey’s chest shuddered as she exhaled. He was inside of her and teasing the flesh just beyond her entrance, his two long fingers curling to gently scratch the walls of her sex as he pressed against the spot outside with his thumb, pinching her between his hand. Circling her flesh with his thumb, Ben drew his fingers in and out of her, his pace steadily increasing the louder she gasped and shook against him. Eyes slamming shut, warmth pooled between her thighs, and she chanted his name like it was the only word in existence. 

The longer he explored her, the less his invasion irritated her body with discomfort. All the while he played with her body, Ben was quiet, though she heard his deep, even breaths. The air tickled her bare legs a little. Tears fell down over her temples as he worked her to the edge of the galaxy. The sounds leaving her throat shocked her. Behind the thin cloth walls in Niima Outpost had occasionally had two people messing around. Ben pulled back his fingers from her body and rubbed around her crease, lubricating the area evenly. Her eyes snapped open when he pressed a hesitant kiss in her folds. Cold iron invaded her bloodstream, tangling with her blood until the heat of her body hardened it within her. Her once weightless body tensed as she gripped her hair in one hand and searched his with the other. Arching her back hurt, but when Ben sank his mouth down on her again, Rey’s chest caved in as she released a breath she’d held captive. 

When he took her hand, he guided it under her legs, which quivered up over his shoulders. Folding his fingers over hers, Ben’s tongue tasted her sex, his pace driving her wild. How was he so calm right now? There was a fire licking her body, slowly melting her one piece at a time. Shifting slightly, Ben rubbed his thumb at the back of their joined hand. The world whitened when he slid his tongue inside her. 

The scavenger immediately moved her hand from her hair and snapped it to his, gripping him with excruciating pressure; however, if she hurt him, he made no signs of discomfort. He took the pain she inflicted him with and channeled it where they were joined. Her arm jerked each time he shook his head against her or when he bobbed it. Rey’s eyes burned, the tears brewing there the longer she held her breath to avoid screaming. 

Pleasure had never been something she’d experienced except in small moments: like when she stood next to Han on Takodana seeing the trees and lakes of water for the first time. Ben lightly brushed his nails up and down the length of her shaking thigh, his deep moan resonating at her center. The Force cradled around them, tightening the closer Ben took her to the edge of ecstasy. So much pressure built in her womb until her shiver unleashed her release. Ben didn’t move from her; instead, he drank her until she slackened. Every stitch of energy was gone. A thin layer of sweat glossed over her skin, and she tried desperately to say his name, but her head spiraled, setting course to an unknown plane in the universe.

Wiping his mouth against her leg, Ben stood. Rey was too tired to watch as he tore--literally rip--his pants off of his body. The bed shook as he crawled over her, pulling her further up as he scaled toward the wall. Moving his lips to hers, Rey tasted herself in his mouth, but they paused when his erection pressed against her entrance. 

Swallowing, Ben trembled against her. Rey slid one arm around his broad hips and the other pressed against his heart. Under her fluttering touch, her husband trembled, his heart beating faster than she’d ever sensed in him in their brief time together. Moving a hand to brush hair back from her face, he smiled down at her. Eventually, the scavenger moved her mouth against his, and they gasped and shuddered against each other.

“Don’t be afraid, Rey.” Resting his forehead down on hers, Ben moved one of his hands to position him better at her center. “We were made for each other.” Biting his lip, his brows furrowed together as he pushed himself inside her. The pressure he coaxed at her womb made her slam her teeth together, sucking air between the holes between her teeth and making her sound like she hissed.

Tears stung her eyes, and sweat beaded across her body, allowing him to to languidly ease  within her. Every inch of him that filled her stretched him in a way she’d never endured. Body no stranger to cuts or pain, the torment he inflicted was different. Rey’s eyes widened, her brows twitching together as she shook in his arms. Swallowing the thick, hard ball in her throat, she flinched and groaned to accommodate him. 

Ben’s eyes welled up, and his hair fell over them, sweat wetting his bangs as he shook over her. “Should I stop?” It was then she realized that Ben Solo held himself back for her.

“No,” Rey said, looping her legs around to trap him to her. “Don’t leave me.” Her breath stuttered as she forced her jaw to relax, the sharp gasp pinching her back. “I was meant to take your hand, Ben. I’m meant to take you.”

Studying the pain in her expression, he nodded, a smile working on his mouth. “You’re so tight, Rey…” Blinking, Ben continued guiding himself in her. Until her body swallowed him whole. To the hilt. Shivering, he rubbed tears away from her eyes. A smile tugged at each corner of his mouth, and most of the pain fell away from them. “I’m home.”

Rey gulped, her features twisting until the rest of the discomfort eased into a bearable tension. “Ben, I need you! Stop holding back. Give me everything.” Never in all her life had she sounded so needy, nor had she ever whined for anything. But Ben Solo, she finally realized, took most of her firsts for himself. She was his.

Warm fingers trailed over her face, gentle and protective. They stole another kiss, but he quickly pulled back. “All that I am is yours, Rey.”

Sliding out almost entirely out of her, Ben shocked the breath out of her lungs when he slammed back into her. His pace stayed slow until she acclimated to the pressure. Grinding his hips on hers, Ben groaned and whispered her name over and over. Driving them both wild. He was thick and long, filling her until a part of his soul fell into place in a vacant space in hers. A drop of his sweat rippled down on her cheek, and Rey propped her body up on her elbow, so they could be as close as possible. The unexpected pleasure of her new position made her gasp. 

Taking a moment to place her hand on his face, Rey closed her eyes and broke through his mind, searching for a memory she could use to help her pleasure him: to keep up with him. Violent grunts that sounded far away nearly tore through her concentration, but a faint piece of his past dripped into view. He was aggressive, relentless as he stole from the woman he bedded as much as she took from him. No warmth attached to this moment in time. The longer she trespassed, the harder the cool grip of the Force clung to her.

Ben ripped her away from his memory. “I won’t make love to you as Kylo Ren, Rey. You wanted me as Ben Solo, and you have me.” Ben rocked against her, his pace quickly making her breathless. 

“I only wanted to see what I could be doing besides laying here.”

“Then ask, Rey. Don’t bring my past into this bed with us.” Ben froze between her legs, and the scavenger reached for him. He pulled back, dragging her on top of him so she straddled him. The new position shocked her. He was somehow deeper than before. Shivering against each other, Ben looked up at her and smiled. When Rey tangled her hands in his hair, it was drenched with his sweat. Holding onto his body, she swallowed and moaned when he grabbed her thin waist between his hands. “Explore me, Rey.”

Dragging him in, Rey claimed his mouth and groaned. She was tired, frustrated, and tingly everywhere. Tension built in her womb similarly as it did when his mouth was at her center. Swallowing, she shivered with him as he guided her hips back and forth and up and down, relinquishing his control over her once she set a tormenting pace for them both. 

“Even with our bond, Ben, I’ve never felt you so deeply as I do right now.”

Ben grabbed her throat in his palm, his thumb brushing over her bottom lip. He didn’t squeeze her, only kept his palm against her pulse point as they continued their joining. “Please tell me you’re close, Rey.”

Nodding, she sighed as she sank her face in his shoulder. Their sweat made it hard to anchor anywhere for too long, but she held on as best as she could. “Ben…”

Shoving her back, he pounded into her. His pace matched the passionate fury she’d known in Kylo Ren, but he never hurt her in his chaotic pursuit to completion. Arching his back, Ben nearly pulled all the way out of her until he drilled into a few last times before stilling. They panted, whimpering each other’s names as they came together and apart at once. Warmth flooded her womb, and after only a few seconds, he dropped on her, pushing the air out of her lungs before weakly rolling to his side. Her ass cradled his his sex, but he held her there. 

Spooning her. 

Rey felt his hand leave her skin, but eventually it returned when one of his black cloaks fell over them. He kissed her from behind, and she closed her eyes, smiling as he wrapped his arms around her body, hauling until the length of her body molded to his. As their racing heartbeats slowed to the same rhythm, a peaceful sleep claimed them both.

* * *

**Consider leaving your thoughts in the form of a review before you leave. :)**


	12. Cold Night Sky

**Author's Note:** Thanks for all the kind words from last chapter! I so appreciate it! Things tense up as the main driving plot to this tale kicks back into gear starting in this chapter!

 ***EDIT*** Seems it's not clear by now, but Rey has a huge fear of leading...given her heritage and all. This chapter seems to confuse a few people. We're exploring their balance in this one, and Rey finds herself tangled between his past as Kylo Ren and trying to work through a few feelings while they both adjust to their bond. If more explanation is needed after this, I will explain more in the next chapter.

Enjoy!

* * *

**CHAPTER 12**

_Ajan Kloss_

_REY_

* * *

When Rey woke, the sun’s light burned over the Falcon. It was almost midday. The scavenger could scarcely remember when she’d ever slept in so late. Exiting the ship, Rey rubbed her womb. A tight jab answered her when she pressed too hard. Walking, she quickly learned, was rather difficult when one had been thoroughly loved. Ben’s appetite and stamina had surprised her. Between resting throughout the night, they’d made love five times. 

Not bothering with the several pieces of her typical garb this morning, Rey had reluctantly slid into her pants and boots and had stolen one of Ben’s black long sleeve shirts. Sleeves ripped from their seams, Rey held up her hand to block the bright rays from their assault on her hues. Looking over to the cave enclosure where the Resistance base had been once, Rey stared at the small annex tucked away she’d once claimed for her personal use whilst perusing the books for her saber configuration. Swallowing, Rey stepped all the way down to the ground and sluggishly walked to where Leia had embraced her before she left the moon to search for the wayfinder. She winced when she needed to step over a stray stump.

The scavenger closed her eyes, holding her flattened palm up toward the sky as she breathed evenly. Almost like a whisper, her name in Leia’s voice broke through Rey’s memory, and arms folded from behind her. A languid smile stretched Rey’s mouth. Ben warmed her cheek with a slow kiss, but he let her go when she moved to turn. Facing him proved nearly overwhelming. Rey slid her hand over her heart and chuckled. 

Never before had she witnessed such peace and contentment in one person. Ben moved his hand over her heart, brushing hair from her face as he dipped down to taste her again. “Good afternoon, sweetheart.” Cupping her jawline, he searched her eyes, noticing the twitch in her nose when wrapped his arm around her hips to bring her in closer. “Sore?”

Rey’s features eased. Closing the gap between them, she brushed her nose against his, ultimately sealing a secret promise with a kiss on the tip of it. “I’ll be fine. How long have you been up?”

“Only a couple hours. I’ve meditated.”

Rey pulled back, surprised for some reason. “Anything?”

Pinching the edge of her chin, Ben shook his head. “Mostly nothing, but I did manage to hear Luke. He called me ‘kid’...I hate that.”

“Do you feel different?”

Ben’s features twiched. Brows furrowing, he started trailing his fingers across her back. “I think so. It’s hard to tell after a single night.”

Rey narrowed her eyes, which settled over the bags forming under his. “You didn’t sleep much.”

“Not on account of nightmares...for once.” The wind blew, and he turned around. Straightening, he tore himself away from her. “What do you want, uncle?”

Rey’s heart glowed, and she moved around Ben, but when she saw no one, her eyes dipped to the ground. “Is he here?”

Ben took her hand in his, looking down at her and nodding. “Though I’m not sure what he wants.”

When he looked away, Rey closed her eyes, missing part of his banter. The life around her quieted. She heard no trace of wind, wildlife, or the remnants of rain dripping from nearby trees and leaves. Breathing evenly, Rey invited peace to occupy the unrest in her heart. Although she did not see him when her hues opened, she could hear him, though he sounded rather far away.

“Your bond is unlike anything anyone on this side of the Force has seen. Palpatine was right about one thing. This dyad is a power like life itself.” 

Ben’s hand tightened in hers. “We’ll figure it out and bring balance back to the Force.”

“You’re going to need help with that,” Master Luke said, his voice relaxed and playful. “My sister gave you what power she brought with her here. She hoped you would say something like that.”

“Master Luke, why can’t I see you?” Rey’s chest clenched, and it was hard to breathe for a moment. 

“Unfortunately, for now, you’re beyond our reach.” Sadness underscored what he said. It was a current that washed over her. “None of us fully understand this dyad, but in the time you carried the Force alone, you managed to cut yourself off from the Force as I once did. Though, I suspect that was unintentional.”

Ben swallowed, and Rey searched the empty jungle before her. Folding his fingers over hers, he sighed. “How can I help her?”

“I just said I don’t know much about this dyad stuff...but I personally suggest you focus on finding balance between you. The two of you both have small pieces of one side of the Force and a dominant morsel of the other.”

Beside her, Ben shifted on his feet. “We are. I’m showing her the Dark side, and she’s helping me with the Light.”

“Kid, you have to listen better if you’re my only way to reach her. What I meant was the two of you need to let go of training for this side and that side. Neither of you is a Jedi or Sith. The only way we’ll know the limits and purpose of your bond is if you explore the limits of it together. You two are two halves of one soul. You two train together, and I’m sure you’ll get familiar with how this all works.”

“Master Luke?”

“Yeah?”

Rey’s hues searched the jungle just beyond the perimeter of the camp. A frown tilted her mouth a bit. “What am I to do with the crystals you had me chase?”

Luke’s presence drifted further away from her, but she closed her eyes and focused on his energy signature. “When you’re both good and ready, you’ll make it a priority to collect the two remaining ones. There are those who seek to find them to taint for the Dark side. It’s imperative we find them before that happens, but there’s still time.”

“Luke…” Ben whispered. Quietly, he squeezed her hand, and she opened her eyes. “I need to speak with him alone.”

Rey nodded, whispering a quiet goodbye before breaking hands with Ben. Rubbing his shoulder, she kissed his cheek. “I’ll be on the Falcon. I want to try and talk to Desren.”

“I’ll be there soon.”

**\- - - - - - - - - -**

“Finn? Poe?” Rey sat in the cockpit of the Falcon, legs resting on the dash and avoiding any buttons. Searching the jungle from beyond the ship, Rey’s mouth ticked as a smile almost formed. “Are either of you there?”

“There she is. I was beginning to wonder whether you and Ben had killed each other yet,” Poe answered. “What’s up?”

“Are you able to connect me to Anakin or Padme? I want to speak with Des.”

The line went silent, but eventually crackled back to life. “Impeccable timing. I’m heading their way now.”

“How is everything?”

“Honestly?”

Rey drew her head back, rolling her eyes. “When is lying ever a good thing?”

“Well, you lied to me for years about who you are. Sometimes it helps protect the masses.”

Dipping her forehead to her fist, Rey sighed and shook her head. “Poe, that was a _rhetorical_ question.”

“Yeah, well, we can’t all have defected leaders of dead orders charge up our loading ramps.”

Rey shot to her feet, fists shaking. “What are you talking about?”

“Anakin, Finn, and all our Force sensitive kiddos, at the same time, had visions last night. Anakin saved a few lives with his vision. He stopped an Objector ship from destroying an ally’s home on Coruscant. But my buddy? He heard your voice. Finn heard you two goin’ at it. The little ones mostly had a heightened sense of the surrounding Force-stuff. That last part’s a direct quote from Skywalker.”

“How is that possible? How is he?”

“I’m gonna be honest, Rey. I don’t think it’s best that we continue to talk about this if we’re gonna keep this convo civil. I will tell you that Jannah and her gang are here on Naboo with us, and she...she took him out for drinks. I wouldn’t worry about him too much, but the guy doesn’t hold his liquor well. Poor guy got into a fight with a barkeep. Jannah brought him back with a bit of Resistance guard intervention.”

“W-well, what I do in my private time shouldn’t be his concern…”

Poe laughed. “Honestly, I’m happy you were able to find something that makes you happy. But, and this is only in the spirit of our honesty, I wish it wasn’t at the expense of my best friend.”

Rey’s brows furrowed. “I thought you said we _weren’t_ talking about this?”

“I mean, I just have so many questions…”

“POE!”

“Right!” he said, clearing his throat. “We’ll talk about sith sex later. Here’s Anakin.”

The receiver picked up on some shuffling, but after a few seconds of static, she heard Anakin say, “Do I even want to know what you two were talking about?”

Rey palmed her face, releasing her exhausted sigh. “I’m sure you can imagine, Anakin. I wanted to check in with you and the others if you have the time?”

“It’s perfect timing, actually. I had a few things I’d like to discuss regarding the Jedi Order. Is Ben around?”

“One sec.” Rounding the main walkway in the Falcon, Rey stepped down the ramp and saw Ben approaching. Waving her hand, she turned back around and moved to the rec room, sitting on one end of the game table and setting the receiver in the center of it. Ben joined her, immediately taking her hand and rubbing the top of it. “He’s here.”

“Good. Hello, grandson.”

Ben’s features balked, and his brows gathered as his mouth curled. He looked like he’d smelled something awful, and Rey tried not to laugh. “Grandfather…”

“Padme’s also here. I’d like to include her in these discussions from now on to keep her involved with our progress. She’s a representative ambassador of Naboo in the senate, after all.”

“I have no idea what that means,” Rey grumbled. “It’s all gibberish, isn’t it?”

“I assure you she’s quite a valuable asset to these discussions. Her influence could help us gather support from the senate. Though quite past her prime,” Anakin said, pausing when Rey heard Padme chide her husband. “Sorry, my dear. Anyway, her name alone still garners much respect in some powerful circles.”

“Let’s just cut to the chase,” Ben said. Leaning back in the seat, he rubbed his face.

“Where’s Desren?” Rey asked. “He’s the real reason I’m calling.”

Padme cleared her throat. “He’s with his private tutor for another hour. We’ve decided to occupy Ben’s home here in town. Thanks again for the allowance. We really would have nothing without you.”

Ben clenched his fist and tensed. Shaking his head, he muttered, “Of course.”

Rey tilted her head while her brow quirked. “Nevermind all that. What did you need to talk about?”

“In the past, the Jedi Order worked closely with the senate in Coruscant as peacekeepers. However, I’d like not to repeat the mistakes made then, so I wanted to refer to your opinion on an idea.”

“Which is…”

“Stay with me here. I promise nothing nefarious inspired this idea. It was actually all Padme’s thinking.”

Rey groaned. “Get on with it!”

Anakin chuckled. “Many of the First Order Stormtroopers have banded together, creating a new faction called the Storm Alliance. We believe there could be as many as a quarter million stormtroopers in this group. They’ve settled on planets that have low New Republic influence, so they are the most vulnerable to fall over the Maul’s group, who we’re calling the Objectors.”

“These are people who are running from the New Republic because many senators feel they should be punished for their war crimes while under First Order control,” Padme said, her voice brimming with nerves and compassion.

Rey laughed. “These people were taken as children from their families and forced to live like slaves.”

“To many, they’re an obvious target, since I’ve arranged for Ben’s full pardon.”

“Wait, what?” Ben stiffened. His eyes burned into the receiver. “H-how?”

“They wanted your life, but the terms were negotiated last night here on Naboo. I don’t usually like playing dirty, but we told them you’re under the direct supervision of the Resistance’s hero and Leia’s chosen apprentice. So many people respected my daughter and her work. It was easy to secure a large minority, but we had to get the majority if it would mean anything.”

“What did you give them?” Ben asked.

“In reality, we gave them nothing but an empty promise.” Padme sighed. “It’s a dirty trick, but we agreed you’d never be allowed to pursue the path of a Jedi. That wording was the exact phrasing. They don’t know that you two are connected. You’re to remain in Rey’s constant care, and we also agreed she’d be personally responsible for you in future.”

Rey reached for Ben, but he slipped past her and stood up, his back to her. Fisting his hands, he took a deep breath. “How am I getting off clean?” 

“Oh, and your public assets have all been mandated to officially transfer to the control of the senate for equal distribution to help get important bills passed as well as repair damage around the system.”

Anakin laughed. “They were surprised to see that only amounted to sixty million credits and a few homes in the inner rim and core.”

Rey’s eyes bulged. “Sixty million credits?”

“Killing people wasn’t the only thing I did with my time on the Dark side, Rey.” Ben slowly turned to her. “Don’t ask how much more I have.”

“There’s more?” Rey slid her hands back in her hair, which still had yet to be styled. “How could one person have more than that?”

Ben moved to her. “We can talk about this later,” he whispered. Bringing his mouth to her forehead, he pulled away. Sitting back down, he swallowed. “They’re all idiots if they can’t find out my private assets.”

“Well, they’re still searching for any leads, but you’ve kept a pretty clean trail, Ben.”

“I just knew what I was doing.”

Folding her arms on the table, Rey closed her eyes and shook her head. “Ok, so Ben Solo’s free. Woohoo. What about this Storm Alliance?”

“Right,” Anakin said. “We have reason to believe the group’s acting leadership is based on Jakku.”

Ben and Rey shared a look. Rey stood up and stretched her arms out. The discomfort from last night was almost forgotten for the moment. “We still need to go there for a few parts for the Falcon.”

“We only just got here, Rey. We should at least follow Luke’s advice and explore our connection.”

“You spoke with Luke?” Anakin asked, his voice tense. “How is our son?”

“Still dead,” Ben mused, his face deadpan and body slack. “Somehow even more of a pest than I remember.”

“Persistence and optimism are hardly things to fault him for, Ben.” Anakin cleared his throat. “It _is_ how he saved me if you recall.”

“Going to Jakku is suicide now that they’re there.” Ben rubbed his face, ending that tangent completely. “I don’t think these people will react too nicely when I show up.”

“Ani and I are trying to make contact with them to try a more diplomatic approach, but we’re fully prepared for aggressive negotiations if it gets to that point.” The sound of Padme’s voice soothed Rey’s erratic heart. How could one woman sound so confident? Leia had had her own brand of the quality. It was a large part of what Rey had admired most of her. 

“Aggressive negotiations?” Rey shook her head. “Forgive my lack of knowledge of politics, but what does that mean?”

Anakin and Padme’s laughter grew over a few seconds until they both stopped. “She means using our lightsabers and blasters.”

When Rey glanced over to Ben, he wore an easy grin, like he understood the reference. “Right, well, we can’t let it come to that. I want to avoid any more needless killing: people and planets.”

“I bet old Palpatine is rolling in his grave when you say things like that.” 

Rey dropped her eyes to the receiver, staring blankly at the game table. Only when Ben reached for her did she realize she’d not said anything or responded. Swallowing, she took his hand. Before he could chide his grandfather, they heard Padme scold her husband in the background. 

“It’s a little funny…”

“See.” Anakin chuckled in the background. “She’s a good sport, Padme.”

“It’s not funny, Ani…” Padme tried to conceal her own soft fluttering laughter. 

The only one not on board was Ben, whose features were dark and tense. “Getting back to the point…What does all this have anything to do with the future of the Jedi Order?”

“Well, we simply don’t have the numbers to be a real order yet. Padme thought it could be an advantageous strategy to secure a partnership with the Storm Alliance.”

“You said there’s more than a quarter million of them. We don’t have anyone to lead this…” Rey sighed, sinking down as she sat on the bench.

After a moment of mutual silence, Padme cleared her throat. “Well, the Jedi Order has always mostly had a favorable relationship with the senate. Corruption breeds within it today as much as it did in the past. I see that now...there are simply too many shady politicians and not enough good ones. Before the senate has a chance to mobilize efforts for another organized Galactic military, maybe we should start up a privatized order of our own: one where the Jedi and ex-stormtroopers work under a council who observes the galaxy to keep the peace as the Jedi Order once did. This order wouldn’t have anything to do with law making or keeping the law, so it wouldn’t be a dictatorship. It could be a great way to establish some checks and balances in our galaxy. It, in theory, could be a nice compromise to keep the senate accountable to the people they’re sworn to serve and serve as a means to keep the galaxy safe from any future uprisings.”

Rey already knew her answer, but she asked her question anyway. “And who would lead the council?”

“At first, it would make the most sense for the two of you to do that.” Rey almost heard Anakin’s smile from her end of the receiver. “We could call it the Gray Order...a beacon of peace and political neutrality.”

All she heard was the sound of her own breath echoing around her. Rey shook, and the air in the Falcon pulsed cold, eradicating the warmth that had cocooned her last night. Her eyes widened. In a daze, the scavenger stumbled to her feet and reached for her saber, which answered her call. Thumb just under the ignition slide, Rey swallowed and used the walls of the ship to keep her upright as she made her way to the exit. Tripping down the ramp, Rey rolled onto the ground without flinching and wobbled to a shaky stand. 

The past coiled around her mind like a snake circled its prey before striking it down. Every voice that led her to the precipice of the Dark side joined her in her thoughts as memory fused with reality. 

To the north was the training course. The west had the ship work stations and pool further out. It was the eastern treeline that Rey disappeared into once a hand caught her shoulder. Ben’s strength was inherent, his body able to accommodate the physical power so naturally. But in this moment, all the Dark in the galaxy funneled into her body, fueling her forward. Right now, Rey was faster and stronger than he was. The Force showed her as much by blocking out Ben’s voice in her mind without her willing it to do so.

_Long have I waited for my grandchild to come home._

_You come from nothing. You’re nothing._

_It is your birthright, to rule, here. It is in your blood. Our blood._

Although the scavenger felt the sun’s rays hit her skin, a stroke of premature cold nipped at her skin. The pain swirling in her chest amplified the power in her body, allowing her to run faster than any human should be capable of. Even one with a strong Force sensitivity.

_I've seen this raw strength only once before. It didn't scare me enough then. It does now._

_Something inside me has always been there, but now it's awake._

A tall tree up ahead stood in her way. The fastest route was _through_ it, so Rey ignited her saber and whirled it through the air. The yellow glint of her saber disappeared into the forest ahead as the sun caught in her eyes. Only was hearing the hissing of it twirling through the air straight for the thick tree her way of knowing she was clear for passage.

_You went straight to the dark. It offered something you needed. And you didn't even try to stop yourself._

Her saber cut down a path ahead of her as it continued to spin straight ahead of her. Trees fainted before her bright display of fury. The fault in the ground was up ahead. Here, it was at its widest, and she leapt across it with ease.

_You're so lonely...so afraid to leave…_

_Don't be afraid. I feel it too._

The ground shook under her heels as more trees plunged, their fate signed and sealed in the death that clouded her mind. Holding out her hand, she willed her saber toward her, and it obeyed. The only thing in the entire galaxy that bent to her command was this saber. A hero’s trusted steed, she enslaved it, poisoning its radiance as Rey neared a meadow.

_I will find you and turn you to the Dark Side._

_You wanted to prove to my mother that you were a Jedi, but you’ve proved something else. You can’t go back to her now. Just like I can’t._

When she reached the edge of the jungle, the last few trees quaked against the moon’s ground. Splaying her fingers out, Rey held herself in place like Kylo Ren had done when the Falcon rushed air into the First Order ship she narrowly escaped. A tall tree trunk bowed to its death, threatening to crush her, but she held out her hand, which trembled. The veins in her hand bulged as she howled. The Force slowly skinned her alive, stripping her of its warmth and, instead, flooding her with every trace of cold, black iron. 

_The Dark Side is in our nature. Surrender to it._

Rey extended her hand above her head, the tree trunk parallel to the ground now. Knee collapsing, Rey looked ahead of her, seeing a herd of the moon’s natural wildlife grazing the perfect meadow. Narrowing her eyes, the scavenger used the Dark energy breeding within her to shove the tree toward them. From the North, a speeder rushed toward her. Rey cast the saber back through the air toward it, eager to thwart any who dare step in her path of destruction.

It was Ben.

He held out his hand, freezing her most prized ally in its path. He redirected the speeder to move back into the dark jungle, concealing his exact location from her, whilst she dealt with commanding her saber and kept control of the floating tree. Before the tree could squish the herd, which now ran away from her wrath, Rey grunted as her whole body convulsed.

Vision intensifying, the world colored in a bluish white, the color of lightning. Calling her traitorous saber back to her, Rey shifted on her feet, turning back toward the jungle’s tall tree line. While not busy with her saber, Rey sank closer to the ground as she struggled to keep control of the heavy trunk over her head. Searching the Force for warmth, she tracked Ben’s exact location after carefully sifting through the life forces shrouding him.

_Beautiful, broken Rey._

Shouting, Rey threw the trunk toward him, the man drenched in an itchy light that burned her even from her distance. Daring to step closer toward him, she snarled, baring her teeth as she grunted. Calling upon the darkest corners of the galaxy, she siphoned power from everywhere that heeded her command. In brief flashes, Rey sensed traces of familiar energy pouring into her body.

 _Rey!_ The call was a cocktail, a blend of Anakin and Finn’s voices stretching the expanse of the galaxy that divided them. Rey flexed her fingers and managed to stand back to her feet. Their Force signatures fused with her own the longer she bled the galaxy dry. They screamed as she split apart their souls to merge with her own. Closing her eyes, the devastating power drowned. A hiss of a familiar saber pried her attention behind her. 

“Kylo Ren…”

A soft, bitter chuckle cut through space and time as the world around her went black. “Scavenger,” the dark apprentice said, his voice distorted by his mask, though she pressed into the Force to see beyond it. “We meet again.” 

He’d aged slightly. Fine lines started to form underneath his eyes. “You’ve grown stronger. The Dark side radiates from you. I can almost taste the excess power dripping from you, girl.” Kylo Ren walked toward her. “One day, it’ll all be mine to command.”

Reaching out her hand toward him, Rey sensed the raw power flowing within him. She needed more. Power was the only thing that would shut out the loneliness that feasted on her heart. “Your power is mine.” Twisting her wrist, she closed her eyes as she fed from his life force, a dark smirk irritating her mouth.

A blast from behind her struck her on the edge of her waist, and she collapsed back to the ground. The black curtain of the Force washed away as Ajan Kloss formed back around her. Reality smothered her, and she felt Anakin and Finn’s energy flee her grasp. “NO!”

Behind the man dressed in black, the large tree trunk slammed into the moon’s surface, some of the bark splintering and flying toward them. A terrible tremor ran through the moon. Calling upon the Dark once again, Rey tried to reclaim her control, but Ben shot another blast at her from where she lay on the ground. Her will tangled with the Force, and the large trunk split the moon’s surface open, creating a deep, wide rift as the moon engorged on the heavy trunk.

When she laid her eyes on him, Ben held out his hand behind them as he approached her, blocking each and every shard of bark shrapnel clawing its way toward them. His face broke, and his eyes reflected her own. In the reflection, Rey’s eyes raged bright red. Tears poured from her eyes.

“Your power is also mine, Rey.” 

Ben swallowed, shoving Han’s blaster back into its holster at his leg. Extending his big hand toward her, Rey watched as, for a brief second, the hellish red color faded from her eyes. She stared at his hand, desperate for warmth she’d find there. Before she could clutch it, a distant voice vied for her attention. Her own voice.

_People keep telling me they know me. No one does._

All the years of loneliness yanked her mind like it had her on a leash. Like she was its slave. Power would tip control back in her hands. Only power would save her. In Ben’s eyes, the red in her own burned brighter than any star in the galaxy.

Standing to her feet, Rey ignited her saber just as he let his purr to life. In perfect sync, she shoved her lightsaber toward him, but he expertly deflected her attack. Like a dance, they twirled and thrashed about the field, stepping on all the pieces of stripped bark as she continued her relentless assault. Rey found an opening, swinging with the daunting power of the liquid fury that rushed through her veins, but he held out his hand and stopped her saber from striking him down.

Screaming, the scavenger whirled around, but he thrust his hips back, narrowly missing her blade. The suffering that underscored all those years spent in isolation bubbled to life in her heart, killing the source that gave her life. They continued until Rey’s body betrayed her. Without being connected to the Dark, she couldn’t tap into anyone’s energy. Not even with their bond could she steal it. He was the master of her power, and she wanted him to die for it. 

Tears burned her skin as she swung her saber the last few times. Although his chest heaved as wildly as hers, Ben Solo held back, deciding to spare her life he could so easily squash. He’d always held back when they fought. The fact that she fell to her knees and he towered over her killed her. Not even the Dark would give her what she needed. 

The man before her twisted his wrist as he held his mother’s blue saber, preparing for any more of her tantrum. How could it be that he could still have enough energy to fight on? Rey would not win this way. Closing her eyes, she breathed in, becoming enveloped in the Force. The cold climate shielded her from his attempt into her head. Something pricked her palm, and the Dark answered her plea whereas the Jedi ghosts had never done. They’d always left her alone. They’d so eagerly taken Ben away from her.

Rey’s hand shot out before she could control her body again, and Force lightning crackled, though he used Leia’s saber to shield him from her assault. Rey’s body broke from her will, and it continued channeling all the darkness swelling in her into this pursuit. Although she tried to stop herself, it was clear that Rey was no longer in charge. Her power knocked Ben back several paces, not yielding until his feet danced against the rift she’d created in the jungle.

“REY!” Ben shouted. “Come back to me!” Baring his clenched teeth, Ben looked behind him and wobbled as he stood at the edge of his demise. “Stop this…” he said, struggling against the power flowing from her fingertips. His hands trembled the longer she continued her attack. “I-I can’t hold this for much longer…I’m not strong enough!” It looked like he was talking to someone else. Features twitching, Ben grunted, his eyes shedding a few thick tears. “I love you, Rey Solo…”

A few seconds later, the lightning overwhelmed him, and a bright light blinded her, knocking her off her feet as it reverberated a violent shockwave in the surrounding area. Her body rolled, a few pieces of bark piercing her skin until her back hit another tree. The breath in her lungs knocked from her chest. Back at the split, smoke, thick like a fog, shielded the area beyond.

Tears drowned her eyes as they slipped down her face. Hands twitching, Rey looked down, seeing a narrow, bloodied branch jut out of her side of her stomach. Drawing breath, she winced as she leaned forward. The branch slid out of her body slowly. Convulsing, the scavenger fell over, her face smudging in the mud as she crawled closer to the rift. Her legs wouldn’t heed her command, and the further she slowly pulled herself closer to the fault, Rey realized they were paralyzed. 

Closing her eyes, she searched the Force for the other half of her soul. Shaking her head, Rey gasped, tucking her forehead into the wet grass as she endured a torturous shiver. Pain was everywhere, and as she bled from her side, so, too, did the Force bleed the loss of its Light. Crippled by the void she felt, Rey gripped the grass and trembled, ignoring the feel of her lungs bursting when she bellowed, “BEN!” 

The sound bounced around the area, the echo repeatedly reminding her of what she’d just done. Rey’s vision blurred as her tears poured from her. Cracked ribs scratched her lungs, and she could no longer breathe, but Ben’s name formed on her lips. With each shake of her body, Rey repeated the shape of his name on her mouth. 

_Master Palpatine…_ Darth Maul darkly whispered from somewhere far away.

Watching the smoke, Rey pulled herself a few more paces toward the rift until her fingers went numb. Neck craned, she forced herself to witness the exquisite misery and carnal loss she’d inflicted the Force with. It abandoned her. Ben was nowhere she could sense, and she eagerly would die with him. 

Alone. 

The wind circled the area, though the fog remained frozen over the rift. The only thing that disturbed the stationary smoke was a dim light from deep within. Over the course of a few seconds, Rey fixed on lights that spun around a dim, translucent orb that emerged from the gray fog. As it floated back to the land, Rey counted six small lights outside that revolved at its center. Whispers pressed her mind, but she was barely conscious enough to live for much longer. Within the orb, Ben stood, meditating as he positioned it close to her. He floated above the ground, and every inch of him washed her whole body with peace. 

Reality trembled as her vision faded. Using the last bit of her strength, Rey reached for Ben, but the Dark blinded her. She felt his footsteps approach her and heard him fall to his knees as he carefully pulled her into his lap. Sliding his hand over her womb, Ben flooded her body with his energy. The Dark cut back until the world glimmered with overwhelming Light. The more of his life force he shoved into her, the easier it was to breathe. Covering his hand with hers, Rey shook in his arms, her legs slowly recovering their strength. She stole a deep breath, and he opened his eyes, staring down at her like he’d done so those years ago. 

Though every inch of her body shrieked, Rey shot up and violently shoved her mouth to his. Between desperate kisses, Rey sobbed. “Don’t leave me...I won’t let you go!” Snaking her arms around his back, she clutched the fabric of his sweat soaked shirt.

“Rey!” 

Ben panted, reaching for her jaw and smoothing his hands behind her as she arched her back. Their chest slammed together, and he shoved her back against the ground and ripped her pants at the seams. Rey reached for the buckles clasping his pants together and unlatched it, shoving away the clothing as he positioned himself at her entrance. He rammed into her, and she yelped, though neither made any effort to stop this. 

Grinding his teeth together, Ben pounded into her over and over again until daylight faded against a backdrop of stars. Their kiss became a battleground, their tongues dueling for dominance while he drove into her, calling on the Force to keep her under him. Their passion was a brand laced with loneliness, torment, and hope: a sweet torture they’d both been raised with. Rey clawed at the moon’s surface, her fingernails sinking further down into the mud as he punished her.

“You’ve haunted me, girl,” Ben grunted, his body quaking as he struggled to find balance between the Light and Dark raging between them. Entering her roughly, Ben dipped down and claimed her mouth. “I think I’ve always loved you, Rey.” Ben endured a violent shiver between her thighs, but he stroked her face. His fingers were the only thing gentle about him now. “Even before I knew you even existed.”

The friction his thick, hard cock inflicted against the walls of her sex created a torturous pain that blurred into a type of pleasure she’d never known before. Toes curling, she tangled her fingers in his hair and sealed their bond with an abandoned kiss. 

“Is this how you imagined having me, Ben?” Joining his hands under her head, Ben froze, searching her features for something she didn’t have enough patience or energy to discover through their bond. His throat bobbed as she slid her weak, shaky palms under his pants, fingers gripping his ass so tight that the firm curve spilled between the spaces of her fingers. Ben gasped, and she silenced his indecision with a brutal kiss. “All the times I defied you, did you want to hurt me in this beautiful, splendid way?”

“Rey…” he whispered. 

Ben’s features broke, but he savored her mouth, tasting her as he shoved into her so hard, she almost pushed away from him. He gripped her hair to keep her under him, and she hissed as he pulled her hair so tight, she thought her scalp would strip. All of the pain strangled her, but this was different. It wasn’t cold. Together, they bred warmth. In the Dark, the Light poured over them, drowning out the chaos she’d created.

“Ben!” she whined. Massaging his hard ass, she gasped. 

With each thrust, they switched between sloppy kisses and loud grunts. Rey’s eyes widened when she felt his powerful muscles under palms clench, his body quaking. Keeping her eyes on his, they broke together, neither knowing where their shiver started and where the other’s ended. He filled her womb as he released inside of her, and stars shattered somewhere in their galaxy as ecstasy rocked her half of their soul off its axis.

* * *

**Consider leaving your thoughts in the form of a review before you leave. :)**


	13. Leaves In The Wind

**Author's Note:** Hello, friends! If the last chapter confused you, please go back one chapter and read the edit I made to clarify in the author's notes section at the top of the chapter. Answers were always meant to follow, but that chapter alone was over 6k words. I have to break it up because this scene is over 3k long.

I also made an episodic movie crawl for this fic, in case you like extras while reading fics like I do! If you want to follow me, my tumblr is the best place for that. You are able to see writing updates as well as a hoard of Reylo posts in case that catches your fancy.

Trailer/Crawl: [https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=IcRX74lEpHw&t=1s](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=IcRX74lEpHw&t=1s)

Enjoy!

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**CHAPTER 13**

_Ajan Kloss_

_REY_

* * *

Mud, grass, and mix of sticks and leaves clung to them. Rey held the remnants of her shredded pants around her waist as best as she could as he drove them back to the Falcon. By the time they reached the Falcon, Rey had started to fall asleep. Stopping halfway along the journey, Ben had carefully pulled her to his lap, holding onto her as he drove back to the old base.

Instructing her to throw her arms around his neck, Ben carried her like she was his bride, which she supposed was true given they’d said they were married. Given the lack of creed to any one planet, they’d both agreed they were husband and wife. Rey didn’t think the world would honor their choice, but the galaxy hadn’t been part of their bond. 

All the way to the Falcon, she remained in his arms. He only set her down when he scrubbed his hands a bit and moved to collect a few things from the closet in their quarters. Stuffing a thin bag of a few clean clothes, Ben collected Rey and took them back to the speeder. Dozing in and out, Rey shook awake when he pressed a gentle kiss into her grimy hair. Looking around, she saw they were at the bathing pool.

Neither spoke a word, but his tenderness surprised her. Helping her strip, Ben placed her on a mossy rock and aided her in taking the remaining garb off, his shirt on her body was the last thing he bothered with. Finally, he ripped his own clothes off, and they stood there, naked and together. Taking each other’s hands, Ben scooped her up, brushing a light whisper of a kiss against her mouth as he walked them into the pool. 

The jungle around them reflected in the clear water, but as Rey parted with Ben, opting to submerge underwater, her movements distorted the scenery. Small ripples grew into splashes. Standing in the waist-deep water, Rey brushed her hair back, the water dripping over the smooth planes of her body. As she scrubbed the mud and grime off her body, Rey’s breasts moved, and her hair clung around her shoulders, jaw, and neck as she rubbed the back of her neck. Only when her torso was clean did she open her eyes to look at Ben.

Those dark, dangerous eyes stared absently as she froze. His gaze flashed up to her own gaze once he realized he’d been caught. An innocent smirk stretched his mouth. “Sometimes I can’t believe I almost never got to see this.”

Rey crossed her arms, a feeble attempt to hide herself. The man, by now, had committed her each and every curve, scar, and feature into his memory. However, the way he watched her made her belly tickle and her toes curl. Biting her lip, she relaxed her arms when he walked closer to her, leisurely stealing a kiss from her as he molded his arms around her. Pulling away, they were both breathless. “Almost never got to see what?” she asked, focus waning when he took her earlobe between his teeth and sucked. 

“You, Rey.” Ben brushed some of her hair back. “All of this.”

Rey’s brows knitted together. “Why do you talk about me being naked so much?”

Ben laughed and pushed away from her, so he could submerge and get some of the mud off of him. When he decided he was satisfied with the progress, he turned around and sat back down when she was. 

“Although you naked is  _ one _ of the highlights, I meant a more figurative you. After I…” Ben sighed, rubbing his face as he took her in his arms. “After I put on that helmet, I never thought a life would ever be possible.”

Rey stared down at her hands. Mouth hanging and eyes narrowed, the scavenger shook her head. “I never knew such loneliness, Ben. I don’t totally understand what happened back there…”

“I have a few theories.” After a moment, Ben closed the space between them and hauled her in his arms. Pressing his lips to her cheek, he reached around to the other side of her face and angled it so that she met his soft hues. “Rey, you spent three years running from the Force. Finn wanted you both to start the next generation of Jedi. Padme and Anakin think you should help lead a new order.”

Tears stung her eyes, but before the cold could sweep her away again, Ben took her mouth and rubbed her back. “You’ve seen what my grandfather did firsthand. Anakin was also tricked. The entire Jedi Order failed to see what was happening right under their noses.”

“Rey?” Ben grabbed both sides of her face, thumbs wiping her eyes before any teardrops fell. “I know a little about having a dangerous grandfather.”

“And everyone thinks it’s a good idea to put me in charge of something like an Empire.”

Ben sighed, refusing to let her shirk away from him. When she started shaking, he explored her mouth. The gentle coax of his tongue made her sigh, and her nerves soothed. When he pulled away, he brushed her mouth with his thumb. “It won’t be like an Empire or the First Order.”

“But it could go that way!”

Pulling his head back, Ben searched her face. Eyes narrowing, he quietly replied, “But it won’t. Not with the right people.”

Rey scoffed, shoving away from him, but closed her eyes and found the wind ease the knot in her throat. Opening her eyes, Rey’s lip trembled. “And you think we’re the right people?”

“We’re the only ones who can do this, Rey.”

“Us? You only  _ just  _ defected from the First Order, which  _ you _ led, when you came for me against Palpatine,” the scavenger fought. A stray tear beaded and fell down her face. “And me?” she continued, breathless. “I’m a Palpatine.” When Ben moved toward her, she held out her hand and stepped back. “Listen to me, Ben! I can change my name and stop using the lightning, but he’s in my blood.” Ben caught her hands in his, and she stilled. Her breathing went erratic until he kissed her wrist. “No matter where I go, I can’t run from that.”

“At the lake, you said you needed me for my leadership skills. You had to have known this was our path, Rey.”

Rey scrunched her face and shook her head. “It was only a joke, Ben. I was caught up in seeing you again. Jokes always helped me deflect the truth when Desren or someone else asked about the Force or what happened with Palpatine.”

“What’s the truth, Rey?”

Holding still, the scavenger studied Ben’s eyes. Bringing her palm to his cheek, she exhaled. “Luke Skywalker was a Jedi master, yet even he couldn’t mend the Force.”

“He had to deal with me, Rey.”

Gulping, Rey took his hand and brought his fingers to her lips. “Ben, what if we start this Gray Order and we grow old in a time of peace, and the people we hand this all over to come along and start the process over? If the Jedi Order fell once, does that mean the Light is always doomed to fall asunder to the Dark?”

“Rey, you’re looking too far ahead.”

Drawing her head back, the scavenger scowled at him. “Maybe someone should!”

Ben’s smile infuriated her, but she couldn’t let go of his hand. “We can’t know the future. We may be a powerful dyad, Rey, but not even we have the ability to know what happens next.” Pulling her into his lap, Rey straddled him, but kept her head back. A gentle chuckle eased from his bobbing throat. “We can do this.”

“It’s just us, the man who led the Jedi Order into ruin, and a senator who helped put my grandfather into power.”

“If not us, then who?” Ben’s face twitched as he sighed. “The galaxy, in only three years, has slipped back toward the Dark, Rey. Doing nothing is no longer an option. My uncle should prove running doesn’t work.”

“Ben...I started this story only wanting my family back.” Rey’s features broke, and she sank into him. “I hardly know who I am anymore,” she whispered in his wet hair. Ben’s arms wrapped around her back and pulled her in until their chests touched. “I feel like I’m being torn apart.”

“Rey, a lot of what you feel is because of me...actions I did without knowing how they’d affect you.” A shudder starting in his chest shook them. Ben cupped the back of her head and stroked her hair. Rey absently looked at the jungle behind him. “It doesn’t matter that I didn’t know about us until it was almost too late. I will spend the rest of our life together giving you the family you deserve.” His tears dropped against her bare shoulder, slowly trickling down her back until they disappeared into the water rocking around them. “I wish I could undo everything and simply turn back time to get to Jakku as  _ me _ , but I can’t.”

“How can we have a family and lead a new order all at once?” Rey lifted her hands over his back, gently rubbing up and down as she kissed his shoulder. “Any child of ours is bound to be dangerous. It was arrogance that brought the Jedi Order to its knees and arrogance that made you idolize your Dark grandfather’s legacy, Ben.”

Shaking against her, he pulled back and took her face between his hands. He kissed her, his pace as agonizing as it was slow. Rey wiped his face of the warm tears still falling. Sniffling, he pulled back and shook his head. “So let’s put our namesakes to rest.”

“Then we’re just ignoring the problem. That’s just a different form of arrogance, isn’t it?”

There was a shocking rush or energy raging in Ben’s chest. When she brought his face up to meet his hues, she saw a quiet violence simmer in them. Against her, his fingers twitched. “If we can’t leave our past behind us, but also can’t be new people, Rey, then what  _ can _ we do?”

“For better or worse, we  _ have _ to accept our family legacies. Someone must accept responsibility. It’s high time.” Rey rested her forehead against his throat. “That’s why we shouldn’t do this. Our families have both proven we shouldn’t lead. And while I know this order wouldn’t start out like an Empire or First Order, it sounds like we’d be rounding up all the tools for someone to do so in future.”

“Rey, if we don’t do something about all the Force sensitive people out there, then someone else will.” Ben stilled her by lightly sliding his hands over her rear in the water. When she gasped, he quirked a faint smirk. “Not that I mind discovering more about you...about us…” he trailed. Rey held her fingers over his bobbing throat, waiting for him to continue. “But let’s take this slow. When you took off, I felt my power go with you, like you bled my part of our bond nearly dry. I’m not sure if I’m right or not. All I know is that we can’t afford to lose control again.”

The scavenger kissed his temple, looking away. “I don’t know what came over me. I can’t even think about what could have happened…”

“It looks like you were right, though.” Ben examined his hand, and his easy grin fell. “You’re not the only one with an ability.” He kissed the pulse faintly beating at her neck. “It all happened so quickly. I didn’t have time to realize how the shield went up. We should follow my uncle’s advice and explore this dyad in terms of the Force, rather than focusing on one side or the other.”

“I would rather have yours than mine…”

Ben laced his fingers between hers and kissed her chin. The water pushed her toward him as he adjusted them slightly. Brushing his wet hair out of his face, Rey returned his smile. “Everything is as it should be, Rey. I couldn’t protect my parents, but now the Force has given me a way to keep you safe.”

Sighing, Rey rubbed his back idly. “I think you have this ability to keep you safe from me...I almost lost you back there.”

“It’s like you said before. I’m hard to get rid of.” 

A laugh passed between them. Rey arched her back until her half her head and ears submerged. The bassy, deep sounds pressing and pinching underneath the shiny reflection of the water tuned everything out. When she hummed, her ears tickled from the sound vibrating and distorting under the water. 

_ You’re so beautiful, Rey. _

Tensing, the scavenger instinctively moved her arms to cover her chest, the unexpectedly cool air pinching her nipples until they were hard. Ben moved his hands and slowly untangled her limbs to restore the view he previously admired.

_ Don’t hide from me. _

Opening her eyes, the scavenger bit her lip as he hunched over her and took one of her nipples into his mouth. Sucking, he took the nub between his teeth and rolled it around, driving her wild with need. The water left her feeling weightless as it carried her while he licked her skin. “Ben…”

_ I’ve wasted too much time to hold back anymore, Rey. I should have taken your hand back in Snoke’s throne room. That is my single biggest regret. _

“Instead, you traded me for leading the First Order.” As she spoke, her words rumbled in her ears.

_ All that I am is yours. _

Ben hauled her back up, and a curtain of water poured down her as it seeped from her hair and over the planes of her body. Gasping, she shivered against him. He took her mouth, but the moment she pressed him for more, he withdrew. “I’m sorry I took you so roughly back there, Rey.”

Shaking her head against his, her mouth twitched to a small smile. “I’m surprised that I am not.”

“I don’t fully understand what happened. As soon as the shield dropped, our bond overwhelmed me, and we connected in a way I’ve never known before. You thought I died because you couldn’t feel my presence in the Force. All of what you felt poured into me, and I think I lost my mind in a similar way when I was still Kylo Ren. I almost couldn’t control myself.”

Rey kissed the bridge of his nose and chuckled. “When our connection went silent, I wanted to die. It was like before, but stronger. More volatile. Existing without you has become impossible.”

“I felt it, too.” Ben shuddered against her. Reaching for her wet hair, he curled a thick strand in his fingers. “I was so desperate to feel you again. I was lost in those few seconds in the shield.”

“We’ll train together, so that neither of us again consumes too much of our power, Ben. There has to be a way to get this right.”

Nodding, Ben reached for her face and rubbed her cheek while scanning her features. “Rey, I need you to come to terms with our future with the Force. I can’t do this alone. I don’t think we should lead the charges for the Jedi, but I think it’s what my grandfather wants. The Order lasted for a thousand years before it fell. Maybe we just need a new way of running it...making sure it sticks this time.”

Rey shivered. Fear had driven her to the brink. The thought of leading anything frightened her. She held so much weight of the Force, and she knew that, with it, accountability must also be enacted. “I know I play a part in all this, but I’m still searching, Ben. The Force surely wouldn’t give me this much power without a purpose, but I’m terrified of living in Palpatine’s shadow.”

Ben rubbed her arms, the friction between his palms and her damp skin warming her until he relaxed the shiver rocking her body. “Rey, you’re nothing like him. Your parents died so you wouldn’t end up like him. They’re galactic heroes, Rey. They spared you from him.” Trailing his fingers over her jaw, he sighed against her. A wide smile creased his cheeks as he took her hands. “If you don’t trust yourself, do you at least trust me?”

Rey’s brows furrowed, sinking toward her nose. “Of course, I do.”

“I don’t know if we’ll ever deal with a rogue Jedi seeking to start a new Galactic war, but, Rey, we’re together and  _ alive _ for a reason.” He took her hand and moved it over his heart, thumb rubbing her wrist. Swallowing, Ben searched her eyes. “You destroyed the sith, but that doesn’t mean the Dark side won’t rise if given the chance to do so. If we’re to finally bring balance to the Force, it starts with us. I’ll never see my mother again, but I think I can help make sure her legacy lives on. I want to be a part of that, Rey.” He brought her hand to his mouth, placing several quick kisses on each of her folded fingers. “Like you need to preserve the Falcon to keep dad’s memory around you, I need to carry out what she started. Maybe I could feel her the way you feel Han every time you step foot into that ship.”

Rey searched his eyes for a moment. The way the afternoon light hit the pool, his dark hues resonated with a life she’d only seen a few times in their time together. Inhaling, she released the breath slowly, inviting a wave of calm over her. “Alright, then. I don’t like it, but when you put it that way, it makes sense.”

“Thank you, Rey.” Pulling his hand away from her hair, Ben molded his arms around her and sank his face in the hollow of her neck. Each time he breathed on her, he tickled her wet skin. When he started nuzzling her skin, the scavenger laughed, and the sound carried all around them. “We’ll deal with all of the details after we figure out our bond. I’ll let them know, so we’re able to focus on one thing for as long as we can.”

“We can’t stay here too long.”

“I know, but we have a little bit of time. Uncle Luke said you’re aware of two more kyber crystal locations. We’ll make that a top priority once we figure out what we’re gonna do with the ex-stormtroopers.”

Rey smiled. “And you still need to finish your new lightsaber.”

“Let’s get to work.”

* * *

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	14. Time Waits For No One

**Author's Note:** Happy New Year! I took yesterday off to rest, recover, and reflect, but my updates are BACK BABY! I hope I haven't lost you all.

I haven't heard from some of you in the reviews/comments. I hope you all had a wonderful New Years Eve. Here's to a great 2020 with my first update of the year! 

Happy reading!

* * *

**CHAPTER 14**

_One Month Later - Ajan Kloss_

_REY_

* * *

Rey collapsed to her knees, a few sticks biting her skin through her thin, light tan pants. Turning her saber off, the scavenger collected her breath, palms on her thighs as she watched Ben swing his recently finished saber, which glowed bright purple. Much like his abandoned saber, this model also had a crossguard. One special difference in his new saber was the small bit of purple jutting at the bottom, measuring an equal length as the light flaring out either side of the crossguard. 

“I’m starting to think…” Rey huffed, her shoulders sagging as she exhaled and groaned. “...I’ll _never_ master the lightsaber.”

Deactivating his saber, he clipped it to his belt. Ben extended his hand down toward her, chuckling softly. “Nonsense. You’re much better now that we spar for hours each day.”

Rey slipped her calloused hand in his, laughing. “Yes, well, you still wouldn’t bet on me if Darth Maul were here.”

Together, they walked the short distance to camp. The jungle was hotter today than it had been in a while. Whereas Rey didn’t mind, the heat was starting to make Ben go restless. The plan was to remain on this moon until they were contacted, but, aside from Rey using the receiver to talk to Desren a few times each week, news from the Resistance was scarce.

“You’ll get there, sweetheart. It’s only a matter of patience and practice.” Ben stole the canteen on a makeshift table and drenched his face in the water within. Letting it cool his skin a bit, he eventually added, “We should run our exercises, Rey. I’m really starting to feel like I could... _someday_...master this shield ability.” 

Rey rubbed his arm, reaching for the canteen and stealing it from him. Gulping down the remainder of water, she shoved it back in his stomach. He grunted, but watched her with expressive hues. Lifting her brow, the scavenger retorted, “You’ll get there, sweetheart. It’s only a matter of patience and practice.”

“I _hate_ it when you do that.”

Rey bent down and gathered a few stones from the ground. Lightly tossing them in the air, she waved her fingers, and they spun in a circle. “Do what?”

Extending his palm, Ben willed the floating stones over to him. Only two smaller ones twirled over Rey’s splayed palm. Fisting, the stones rotated around his clenched hand. “Use my own words against me.”

Rolling eyes, she moved past him, their shoulders bumping. Walking into the Falcon, Rey moved to the cockpit, hearing him follow closely behind. Waving her hand forward, the stones landed on the dash for later fidgeting. Ben did the same thing. Rey slid down into the pilot’s seat and sighed. “Aren’t breaks the best?”

“They won’t help you master your saber.”

“Yeah, yeah. We’ll go back outside in a minute. Just let me catch my breath.”

A sigh escaped his lips, but he threw himself down on the co-pilot chair. Wiping sweat from his face with his shirt, Ben chuckled. “You have better stamina in our bed than you do with Force training.”

Rey felt her cheeks warm, and she tried hiding her smile from him by slapping across the aisle at him, but he caught her hand and pulled her into his lap. “And see, I hate it when you do _that_!” 

“I thought we agreed not to lie to each other.” Ben reached between her thighs, and started sucking on her neck. 

Moaning, Rey caught his hand and stilled it. “It’s not lying if it’s flirting.”

Ben growled. “Do you have a space in your mind where you specifically store everything I say for later use or something?”

The scavenger laughed, his fingers digging into her side. The seats in the cockpit of the Falcon were too narrow to fit them comfortably. They’d tested almost every feasible position he knew of to make it work. While possible, the point of making love, aside from procreation, is mostly about pleasure. Having her knees scrap against the armrests hardly constituted as pleasurable.

“Don’t forget I can feel you through the connection, Rey. I know you want to,” Ben whispered, taking her earlobe and flicking it between his teeth in the way that drove her wild. 

“As you always remind me, let me remind you that we almost broke this seat the last time I gave into you.” Rey tried to stand, but he caught her. “Ben, it’s just not comfortable here.”

“Oh?” Ben scoffed. “And like on top of the Falcon is any better?”

“That was _your_ doing too, Ben!” Rey slapped his hands away from her.

Ben looked lost in thought for a moment as he scratched his head, lowered her brows, and flattened his mouth into a thin line. “Oh, yeah.” As Rey walked out of the cockpit, Ben quickly hopped up from the chair and trailed behind her. “We really should get a place of our own soon. We could settle down anywhere. I have safehouses in almost all the major systems.”

Rey moved toward the game table, seeing the receiver there, and threw herself on the bench. “We’ll talk about all that once we’ve sorted out this new order of ours.” 

Static on the other end of the receiver cracked in their silence. Plucking it from the table, Rey spoke into it. “Hello?” She almost heard her name, but it could have been a syllable to a host of different words. When she looked at Ben, he only shrugged. “Anyone there?”

“Rey! I’m so glad to hear your voice! We’re trying to land on Ajan Kloss! We’ve been hit, but Ani can land us adequately safely if this ship behind us weren’t so close to us!”

Ben hunched over the table, grabbing Rey’s hand and moving the device to his mouth. “Aren’t you three supposed to be on Coruscant?”

“Well, we were, but we’ve been tracked since we left Naboo. Ani’s dodged all of the mercenaries, but this one is rather persistent!”

In the background, they heard Finn. “Is Rey there?” Static picked up, but eventually he added, “We’re here with Jannah and R2!”

“Where are you coming in from?” Rey asked. “We’re in the Falcon. We can take them by surprise.”

“We’re coming in from the west, Rey. We should land in the lake by the camp.” Finn’s voice was sharp, tense.

“Got it!” Rey replied, slipping the receiver in her hand.

Ben rushed out of the room and hurried toward the turret. “Get us up, and I’ll take care of the ship,” he yelled.

Running around the curve of the hall, Rey plopped down into the pilot’s seat and fired up the engines, fisting all the necessary buttons until the Falcon began its ascent. Rey spoke into the receiver. “We’re on our way!”

Thrusting the ship forward, Rey instantly found the falling freighter chased by a smaller craft. “Ben!”

_I see it! I’m waiting for a cleaner shot._

The ship in pursuit rolled, shooting lasers at the freighter, which was hit twice. _We might not have time!_ After a few more seconds, Ben shot the chaser, clipping the craft’s wing.

“What happened to the meadow?” Finn shouted. “Were you two attacked or something? Why didn’t you tell us?”

“Too many questions for a time like this!” Rey shouted, grinding her teeth as she slowed the Falcon in order to give Ben more time to fire a second time. Only a second after did he take the next shot. The chaser exploded, and from their position in the air, Rey watched as the freighter plunged into the lake. “We’re coming for you!”

Rey piloted the Falcon to a small clearing several dozen paces away from the lake. As she descended, Ben burst into the cockpit, placing his hand on her shoulder and pushing a button on the other side of the space for her.

“Thanks.”

Bending over the seat, Ben quickly replied, “Always, sweetheart.”

Rey’s mouth twitched, a small grin gently easing over her expression. The Falcon landed, and together, they rushed out of it and closed the distance between them and the small lake. When they reached the shore, they saw Anakin helping Padme out of the water. They crashed into the shallow end. Desren, Jannah, and Finn hauled crates off the ship. Rey left Ben’s side and rushed to Finn, who stood next to Des. Rey reached out for Finn and, with her free arm, brought in Desren’s short form closer to her.

“I’m so happy you’re safe!”

Finn reluctantly returned her embrace for a second before pulling away. “I’m just happy I’m off that ship!”

“I flew us here in one piece, didn’t I?” Anakin fought. He didn’t wear his ridiculous cloak. Instead, he wore dressier garb, drenched in mostly a grayish brown. The color of parched, dried dirt.

“That’s not flying! That’s suicide!”

Anakin walked toward Ben, stretching to fit his arms over his grandson’s shoulders. “I’m glad to see you, my grandson.”

Ben glanced to Rey for help, but she ignored him in favor of returning Padme’s hug. Bending to her side, the scavenger moved around the large headpiece the ambassador had tucked into her intricate hairstyle.

“It’s been too long, Rey! I trust your training is going well?”

Ben reached for Rey’s hand and tugged her back. “Let’s take this back to the Falcon. We can chat later.”

Rolling her eyes, Rey slipped out of Ben’s hand and allowed Padme, who held Desren’s hand, to lock her arm with the scavenger’s. When they passed Ben, who towered over them all with his gloomy expression, Rey lifted her brows, challenging him. Ben grunted, opting to rush ahead of the group.

“Don’t you dare think for a second you’re piloting the Falcon!” Rey shouted.

Ben stopped in his tracks and stared at her like she ate the last of his favorite dessert. “We’ll see.”

Scrunching her mouth into a tight point, Rey looked behind her. Anakin remained behind and floated two of the five trunks with them. The smallest one was carried by Desren, who’d left Padme’s side to obey his master’s command to help. Finn and Jannah carried the last two. Finn didn’t use the Force. He was still untrained, Rey observed.

“How are you, granddaughter?”

Rey stopped, her arm loosening from Padme’s, who turned around. The scavenger met Ben’s intent stare. In the distance, wind passed over the trees, and leaves scratched together, creating a quiet symphony of whispers.

_The darkness follows you…_

Turning, the scavenger narrowed her eyes, stepping toward the water’s edge. The gust passing over the area caused some water to wash over the shore onto her boots. Flickering from the fire slowly consuming the crashed ship hissed to her side, but it did not disturb her from staring at the jungle beyond the other edge of the small lake. Hidden around a dark corner was the bathing pool.

Finn’s hand touched her shoulder, pulling her around toward the Falcon. “Everything okay?”

Rey held his stare, saying nothing. Reaching for her saber, Rey ignited it. Breaking from his grasp, Rey hopped up onto the small crashed freighter, the flames slowly licking at her heels the longer she remained there.

 _I sense it, too._ Ben’s whisper echoed across her mind. _I don’t see anything, though._

A crackle of a familiar red saber ignited from behind her, and she whipped back, catching it before the ghostlike heat of it nipped her arm. Groaning, Rey’s yellow saber sparked against Kylo Ren’s phantom one, creating smoke that briefly showed his shape to her as the wind blew passed her. Gritting her teeth, the scavenger heard him gasp, feeling a cold shiver wash over them both. 

“It’s _you_ ,” Kylo seethed. “It’s been years. You’ve left me alone for _so_ long…”

Eyes rushing from one direction to the other, Rey winced as she jerked her saber to their side as he tested out their connection. The mist lightly dusted a masked Kylo Ren into view. “I don’t have time for this right now…”

“REY!” Ben shouted. Rey tore her attention away, seeing him come from the cover of the jungle standing between them and the Falcon.

In the mist, Kylo Ren sharply turned. “I can’t hear what was said, but you’re with a man,” the masked monster whispered, the sound airy and tragic. “Impossible!” He stalked toward her, waving his saber around as he inspected her.

Holding out her hand, Rey cringed as she fumbled at the edge of the fiery ship. “Kylo, I _really_ don’t have the time.”

“You _haunt_ me, girl from nowhere. You’re nameless. All you’ve given to me is a bewitching face I’ll never actually see...and you’re with a _man_ ?” Heartbreak poured over him, and his presence solidified, now translucent but visible. “Your power. Is _mine_.”

Kylo leapt toward her, and she landed on her two feet, throwing her arms up to catch his assault before he struck straight through her skull. Kicking his nearly invisible figure, Rey stumbled to the stance Ben had shown her. Assuming it was easy; however, keeping it was an entirely different feat. Kylo rushed toward her until their sabers clashed again. Her back hit a tree, and the heat from his saber nearly impaled her shoulder as she shook under his strength.

“Tell me where you are!” Kylo breathed rabidly. “I _have_ to find you!”

“Go to hell, Kylo.” Rey squared her shoulders and kicked off the tree, using it to jump onto a thick branch high above his head.

Kylo bellowed, the sound carrying across the water. Monstrous. Tortured. Like she’d sliced open a piece of him and began to slowly peel away his skin. Every last inch. He swung his saber, and the tree split. 

Springing back onto the crashed ship, Rey watched as he jerked around, reaching toward her to attempt to use the Force. This was the first time her connection to the past allowed him to reach her and make contact. He’d grown stronger. Without him taking off his mask, she had no way of knowing when she was in Kylo’s time right now.

“When I find you, I will slaughter the man you’re with right now.”

“No,” she whispered, jumping to avoid his sweep at her feet. She’d said the same thing to Snoke. Apparently, Rey fancied provoking all the dangerous dark lords across the galaxy. Kylo leapt up onto something where he was and onto the ship in front of her. He joined both hands on his hilt before raging his saber down again, but she closed her eyes, waiting for a pulse in the Force to show her when to block his relentless strike. Something pinched at her palm, and she threw her eyes open and bent her knees so that she had better control. “He kills _you_.”

The Force memory bled away, but his scream of agony almost pierced through her resolve. Rey froze, but deactivated the saber, mouth hanging open as she shuddered. What shook her from her thoughts was Finn’s distant scream. Her name. It was always her name he cried. Tears in her eyes weighed her footsteps, but she jumped down from the destroyed freighter and absently stumbled toward them. 

Ben had held them away. Knowing exactly how the memory ended, he must have known she wasn’t in danger. As she shivered, she choked out a gasp. Finn rushed for her, but Rey locked eyes on Ben. Avoiding Finn’s arms, she slowly crossed the ankle deep water past Jannah and Desren. Only when she was in arms’ length of her husband did she relax. Sinking into his chest, Rey sobbed into his black shirt. 

_I hate those._

Ben claimed her mouth, and they slipped away to a world all their own. _I know. I’m so sorry. I wish I could do something to make it stop_.

“How many more were there?” Pulling back, Rey sighed. “I thought we’d left Kylo in the past, Ben.”

He just stared down at her, both of them falling quiet. 

Off to their side, Anakin and Padme embraced, but it was Finn who asked, “What the _hell_ was that?”

Ben clasped both sides of Rey’s face, features somber and dipping down. “I think only a couple left. We didn’t meet much before Takodana.”

“Neither of you are listening to me. Great. That’s just great!” Finn shouted. 

Ben rubbed underneath her eyes, and Rey’s face banished the scowl there. Reaching for his wrists, Rey kissed him quickly and turned. “It’s a part of our connection. It’s never been so vivid or real before. It’s mostly only moments in a star-filled void of the Force where we meet.”

“We’re calling it a Force memory for now,” Ben added from behind. “She’s travelling back to a few moments in my past through our connection, though not by choice.”

“Great…” Finn swallowed, looking about ready to kill Ben. He balled his fists until his shoulders shook. “So you tormented her even before you _took_ her on Takodana from your father and me.”

Jannah moved behind Finn, rubbing his back and saying, “Finn, stop this. This anger won’t help us convince the senate to spare the stormtroopers.”

“Is that why you’re headed to Coruscant?” Ben knit his brows together and looked to his grandmother. “I thought we were making contact before the senate did anything.”

Padme hesitantly walked between them and forced a smile to spread over her mouth. “That was the plan, but a few senators, who we suspect have decided to support Darth Maul or at least a sympathizer, encouraged the senate to hold an emergency session on the matter with little notice.” She turned to Anakin. “I’m seeing a pattern, Ani. Do you think they’re trying to kill me?”

“Welcome to the Resistance. Officially speaking. You’re not really a member unless someone wants you dead these days,” Finn said, his voice tired and itchy.

“If that’s all it takes, then I should be at least a commander by now,” Ben mumbled. 

Anakin shifted his attention between Finn and his wife, until he ultimately settled on Padme. “No one’s going to kill you, Padme.”

Crossing her arms over her chest, Jannah grumbled something under her breath. “Look, let’s get R2 onto the Falcon and leave. We don’t know if there are more where this chaser came from.”

“Guess we’re leaving…” Ben muttered, rubbing his face. “We’ll go back to camp and grab the few things not on the ship. We’ll need to make a pit stop on our way to Jakku for fuel.” 

“Jakku?” Finn grumbled something under his breath. “We have to get to Coruscant.”

“No way!” Rey clutched each elbow, folding her arms over her chest as she looked back to the direction of the Falcon. “I’m not risking the Falcon if there will be more people after you. Without the right parts, getting anywhere is a miracle.”

“I agree. It’s unnecessary to risk everything we have for a vote that might not matter much.” Feeling a hand rub the small of her back, the scavenger looked up at Ben. “We’ll get the parts we need and get those stormtroopers on our side.”

* * *

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	15. Siren's Call

**Author's Note:** Hello! So sorry I took an extended break! I wanted to take a bit of time to really know where this story is going without writing myself into a pickle. Bear with the darker Rey for now. She's headed for happier times. I wanted to lay a seed of what might happen in the next few chapters in this one. It's a reveal some may find out of nowhere for a certain character, but conflict has no discernable preference for Force users these days. I'll see you in the next update! It should be in the next few days!

Also, I'm totally unaware of the mechanics of ships and speeders, so I apologize in advance if those conversations are kept vague. And while I am using a map of Jakku for reference, I decided to take a few creative decisions with the landscape to fit into my story. Nothing major. Just letting you know!

Happy reading!

* * *

**CHAPTER 15**

_Jakku_

_REY_

* * *

Smoke rose from the tents at Niima Outpost: at least from the ones left standing. The only structure in moderate condition was Unkar’s concession stand. As Ben piloted the Falcon down, Rey stood up, eyes wide as she surveyed the corpses littering about the outpost. Blood stained the sand, though the wind had done its job in trying to cover up the evidence by carrying the stained grains away. 

“Jannah, stay with Desren on the ship. Don’t let anything happen to it.” 

The scavenger raced around the curve of the hall until she stood at the ramp. Pressing the button, Rey leapt down even before the craft safely landed. Closely behind her, Finn shouted her name, though he was all but forgotten as she ran toward the outpost. Whipping her saber into her palm, she slowed her pursuit once she reached the fence line, more bodies hidden by rubble and fallen stalls were exposed from the ground.

“No…”

The world blotted behind a curtain of tears. A thick ball of shrapnel lodged in her throat as the pit of her stomach twisted like a knife stuck in her gut. Rey gasped, jerking back when her foot accidentally kicked someone’s boot. Bending down, she tossed back a thick cloth cover for the trinket stall she’d always admired as a girl. The wares were melted or covered in bloody dirt. Unveiling the body, Rey shivered as she searched it for evidence of the story that had taken place here. She didn’t recognize this person, but upon further examination, this woman was killed by a blaster: six blasts total on her torso alone.

When she pulled her hand back, this woman’s blood stained it. Standing up, Rey felt the cold substance drip from her fingertips as she gripped her other hand tightly around her saber. Fisting her bloodied hand, she wiped her eyes with the back of her wrist and sniffled. Ben ignited his saber behind her, moving closer to her as other sets of footsteps followed soon after. She sensed him reaching for her, but she stepped away from him, keeping her back to the rest of them.

“Blasters. They were massacred by blasters.”

“Rey…” Ben’s voice tightened, breaking each time she slipped from his attempts to hold her.

Blinking more tears away, the scavenger walked carefully over the charred tents, bodies, and items, making her way to the concession stand. “Unkar!” 

The closer she got to it, though, she saw Unkar’s thugs lifeless around it. The wind whistled past her ears, and eventually, the only things she heard were her footsteps scratching against the sand, the sound of her thrashing heartbeat, and the quick breaths that made her head light. Rey stood still, but the stand switched from closer to farther as a tunnel sharpened her vision. Cold, quiet screams picked up as the wind delivered the secrets of what transpired here to her.

Voices trickled in, sliding over her sharpened senses attuning single sounds, but what her companions talked about remained a mystery. For so long, she’d suffered patiently under the harsh Jakku heat. Its elements were treacherous, but there was beauty buried beneath the pain. Back at her AT-AT, she’d found the plant barely flourishing. That plant had kept her from turning down the path that most on this waste of a planet traversed. She’d only hurt others when they’d attacked her. Everything she’d done had granted her to live another day while she fooled herself to waiting just one more day for a family she’d never know.

Rey’s chest caved as the pain sank too deep. Looking down at the sand, the scavenger’s body trembled, and the Dark whispered in her mind, though not even the Force could steal her focus. Nothing could distract her from her slow approach to the concession stand. It remained open, and when Rey approached the stand, she calmly set her deactivated saber flat against the inspection table.

“My Girl!” the Blobfish cheered. He’d never sounded more relieved to see her. Even when she found him all the perfect parts for his growing collection of ships and other assorted machinery. “You came back,” he celebrated. Until his eyes fixed on her deactivated lightsaber.

“You know what this is, right?” Rey swallowed, and she didn’t know how she was able to speak. Her voice was too thick and scratchy to be hers.

Plutt shifted his attention from her to the saber for at least a minute. In all her life, she had never possessed as much patience as she spared this man right now. He sank back, expunging air from his chest as he observed the others behind her. “Where did you get that?”

“Before the Force, I could hurt you only a few dozen ways. I didn’t think about it too often, but when you ever cheated me of the correct portions for my stash, only when I thought my stomach was slowly eating my body from the inside out, did I desperately picture how I could end you.”

“The F-Force?”

Rey’s features flattened. “I think you know there are now thousands of possibilities, Unkar Plutt.”

“My Girl…” The Blobfish laughed uncomfortably, raising his hands and his eyes darting to the others. “ _I_ didn’t do this! They killed my men!”

“You run this whole operation. Each and every scavenger is at your mercy, Unkar. What happened?”

“Rey…”

“I can take whatever I want, Unkar.”

Unkar’s breaths came in short waves. The longer she stared at him, the more panicked he became. “Alright, My Girl. Months ago, the troopers came, and we arranged the standard agreement. Parts in exchange for portions. I thought, at first, it was just a handful of them. I... _may_ have undercut their portions on _rare_ occasions. But when they found my stash of portions, they stole everything and made my whole network theirs. They gave me little choice than to serve them.”

“Why did they slaughter this outpost? Why are you still alive?”

“A man and his daughter got caught up in one of their ships in the graveyard. They took his girl and left him out to die, but he made it back here. He rallied a few dozen of my scavengers to try and pressure them to give him his girl back. That’s when we found out there were a few thousand of them held up in the graveyard. They paid us a visit early yesterday and...things got a bit messy.”

“Why...are you still alive?”

“The troopers need access to my suppliers for rations. More than a hundred of them came here and shot up the bulk of my remaining scavengers. The rest will slowly die in the desert...too afraid to come here now. I only have enough portions for me to sit here and wait for my guys to bring in more for their stash.”

Wiping her eyes, Rey reached for her saber and slipped it on her belt. “Jakku is officially under the control and protection of the Gray Order. I will deal with the ex-stormtroopers, and you will live out the rest of your days here at the service of the scavengers, which you will fairly compensate.”

“Another Order? First I’ve heard of it…” he grumbled.

Finn moved until his chest hit her back. Leaning down, he reached for her arm and whispered, “Gray Order? Rey what’s going on?”

Hearing Ben sigh behind her, he dragged Finn away from the scavenger, who ignored her friend. “We’ll fill you in later.”

“Get your hands off of me!” 

Turning, Rey watched as Finn looked up to Ben, eyes glistening with uncharacteristic anger. Hatred. Gently letting the Force brush against her mind, Rey sensed a dark conflict moving through him. The pit in her stomach engorged on all she felt, but she closed her eyes and prayed for the patience that had, at one point, come so easily to her. 

“Careful, Finn,” Ben hissed, eyes narrowing and teeth bared. “We’ll talk about everything later.”

“I’m the Co-General of the Resistance, Solo. You don’t get to order me around.”

The Force buzzed around Anakin. When the scavenger looked over to Skywalker, she took stock of the curious expression he sent to Finn: eyes narrow, mouth tight and flat, throat bobbing as lifted his head and shared a brief look with her. He saw something she could not. Rey watched him as he withdrew his saber and ignited it, doing nothing but standing close to Ben and Finn.

Ben coiled his hands into tight, shaking fists. A sardonic chuckle eased from his throat. “Don’t threaten me.”

Finn stepped toward her husband, chin shaking as his features twitched. “Or what, Ren? Are you gonna kill me?”

A grumble interrupted the tension, and Padme pulled Ben away from Finn. Tears poured down her face, and she covered her mouth, head shaking the longer she took in the horror surrounding them. “This is not the time nor the place. We’re surrounded by a mass grave. Show some respect for them and Rey.”

The need to focus cut the scavenger to her gut, so she shook her head, waiting to give them her back only when Ben and Finn stood apart. The scavenger removed her attention from them and instead focused on Unkar Plutt. “Do we have a deal?”

Sighing, the Blobfish stared at Rey’s outstretched hand. Eventually, he took it. “Why are you doing this? I see it in your eyes, My Girl. You _want_ me dead.”

“You once took a girl at her parents’ request. You gave that girl a means to survive, which she did. My debt is paid in full. I no longer owe you anything,” Rey said. Looking around, she looked away from all the chaos around them. “You will bury each and every body properly. They deserve more respect and dignity in death.”

“There’s no one to help me, My Girl.” Though he chose to press her patience, Rey sensed the fear that ran his blood cold.

The scavenger regarded him, her eyes and expression cold and venomous. “Help? You killed your help,” Turning, Rey saw her old speeder underneath a dingy cloth across the way from two others. “Are those speeders fueled?”

Unkar grumbled. “Enough for at least a week within generous use.”

“We’ll be back in a few days.”

The scavenger shoulder hit Finn’s on her way toward the speeders. Emotions circulated in her mind, and something cold pressed against her heart, but Rey could not be swayed. Life out here was hard enough. It was time someone did something about it all. The more she let go of the fury swelling in her chest, the more of reality Rey became aware of.

“REY!”

Pausing, Rey stopped and threw her hues over her shoulder. Sweat drenched his skin, and his chest heaved like he’d been struck. The Finn before her looked exactly like the man desperate to flee Jakku those years ago. Eyes scanning the others, she saw that Padme sobbed against Anakin. Skywalker fought between opposing emotions, though the anger subsided slightly when Ben reached for his shoulder. Her husband surprised her by giving her some space to deal with Finn alone for the moment.

Finn invaded her personal space, blocking the others from view. “The Gray Order? What was that back there?”

“You wanted us to raise a new generation of Jedi, Finn, and I can’t do that; however, I’ve seen what running does. Masters Yoda and Luke exiled and allowed the Force to cripple under an Empire and First Order. I’m no master, let alone a Jedi, but the four of us briefly discussed it. The Jedi Order, the Resistance. Let it be a part of something that course corrects the galaxy’s future.”

“Sounds like you’re thinking like a dictator, Rey.”

Rey stepped closer to her friend, eyes dark and temper dangerous. Pointing to the outpost, the scavenger’s body trembled, and she moved closer to him until their noses almost touched. “Corpses stain the sand just _paces_ from us! Some of them I knew...grew up with.” Grabbing his face with her bloodied hand, she snarled, the anger intoxicating her. When he tried to move from her, she froze his body with the Force, her fingers smearing the nearly dried blood on his darker skin. “The Dark side swells within me, Finn. Of that you may have some hesitation to trust me, sure, but I would never persistently remind you of what frightens you the most.”

Finn jittered under her control, struggling to speak but unable to do so. His eyes watered until the tears were too heavy to hold. A battle raged within him, but her own emotions threatened to best her for the moment. Maintaining what was left of her control was her top priority until she could put great distance between her and the outpost. However, with each time Finn and her were together, he’d always made her feel dangerous in one way or another. Much like he constantly reminded Ben of who he had once been, that Rey was a Palpatine in any way held a grand significance in the thin thread stitching their friendship.

Was he trying to make her lose control? The thought was as ridiculous as it was of a small betrayal on her part. Finn had always believed in her. In a very small but significant way, he’d helped her stay away from going to the Dark side with Kylo Ren. Her friend always made her feel loved and wanted: everything she imagined a brother should have been. They were family. No matter what he struggled with, she should not think him capable of intentionally hurting her.

Searching his eyes, her expression cracked, softening the more time the guilt had to nest in her heart. Tears distorted the world around her as they fell down her face. “I am a Palpatine, Finn, but I’m _not_ Palpatine. I will _never_ be Darth Sidious. I’m _not_ here to slaughter the stormtroopers. We’re here to save those who wish to see a peaceful galaxy. Of that you have my word.”

When she let go of him, Finn shuddered back, looking away. The blood smeared on his face went ignored. Instead, he tried stepping toward her. She fell back a step. “Rey...” His voice cracked, and only then did her tears shed.

Rey shook her head and grabbed her stomach, the ache building until she stood breathless before her friend. Swallowing, she tried to steady her erratic breaths. “I-I’m going to need help with these speeders.” Three of them that looked operable. “I would suggest us going back to my AT-AT, but it’s open and rather vulnerable if these stormtroopers have any kind of ships. It’ll take about four hours’ ride on these speeders, but there is a cave system in one of the larger ships in the Graveyard of Giants. The Falcon fit when we were leaving Jakku those years ago. The ship will provide us enough cover, and the caves have an underground spring we can use. We’ll have enough shade, so you won't be too exhausted from the constant heat.”

Anakin moved toward her, holding Padme’s hand. Even on a deserted, barren graveyard of a planet was this woman breathtaking. Her beauty had little to do with the unfortunate garb she wore, which would have been appropriate had they landed on Naboo. The scavenger hoped the ambassador had more suitable clothing once they arrived at their destination.

“Do you forget where I come from, Rey?” Skywalker said, approaching one of the speeders. Padme walked at his side, only letting go of his hand when he searched it. “Tatooine is not unlike this planet. I see sand, and I feel heat. This is just great.” In their brief time together, she’d never heard him whine. Rey would have laughed had the circumstances been different. 

Padme placed a hand on his back and rubbed up and down a few seconds. “It could always be much worse, Ani.”

“Ben?” Rey turned over her shoulder, eyes searching for the other half of their dyad. She reached out for him, and he took her palm even though it was stained in the blood. “You’ll beat us there on the Falcon, so wait for us inside the fallen starship. Don’t go in the caves without me. Take Artoo, Padme, Jannah, and Desren. Finn, Anakin, and I will ride on these speeders. They won’t attract as much attention like the Falcon would.”

Ben cupped her cheek and kissed her forehead. “Reach out for me if you need anything.” Squeezing her hand once, he reached for a canteen and poured water on their joined hands before letting go. Most of the blood was washed away. 

The scavenger leaned her head against his chest, but a metal squeal made her jump. Anakin had torn a panel off one of the other two speeders and now tinkered with a few wires and parts. Rey softly chuckled. “Not up to your standard?”

“No, this model of speeder is quite old and was rather popular on Tatooine back when I was a boy. In its current condition, there’s no way this will keep up with you two, so I’m overriding a few things to help give it a boost.” Anakin knelt down and reached just on the inside with his mechanical arm, narrowing one eye as he worked on the speeder. After a few seconds, he ripped one of the parts out and threw it on the ground. 

“You about done?” Finn asked, arms crossing as he leaned back against the last speeder. “I’d rather not stay here any longer.”

Rey saw Ben roll his eyes, and Anakin stalked toward Padme, the two of them sharing a brief but touching kiss. He whispered something to her, and the scavenger moved toward her old speeder, shoving her print on the reader to start it. After all this time, Rey was shocked no one had bypassed her print scan. It was clear Unkar had claimed it for himself after she took off in the Falcon.

Finn got on his speeder, and Anakin soon followed. Rey pointed west, and Anakin took off. She’d be able to catch up to him with ease if she left in under ten seconds. Finn was the next to leave the outpost. Before she followed suit, she looked to Ben.

_Don’t hesitate to search my memories if you get turned around._

Ben walked to her speeder and reached up, his hand resting on her thigh. Thumb brushing her softly, his mouth lifted. “I’m not sure how much more we can push the Falcon. These speeders will help us stay mobile without killing her.”

“Most of the parts we need may still be in the ship we’re heading to,” Rey answered, biting her lip as she watched Anakin and Finn get smaller on the horizon. “I’ll see you.” When Ben’s hand slipped from her body, Rey sped off after Anakin and Finn.

* * *

**Consider leaving your thoughts in the form of a review before you leave. :)**


	16. Too Late To Apologize

**Author's Note:** Howdy! This chapter gets a bit dark, but I'm spoiling you next chapter with a solo Rey/Ben mini exploration (smutty) chapter as my way of thanking all of you for bearing with me these last few chapters! I'm so excited about this chapter because I kinda explore something I thought would have been neat to see or hear about in the sequel trilogy. Alas, another missed opportunity. Oh well!

Again, sorry if you think this comes from nowhere. I'm not character bashing. I genuinely love each and every character introduced in the trilogy (for the most part). And I know I'm really running with this whole Finn-loves-Rey thing. That's just the vibe I always got from my own viewing of the entire trilogy, but it stops in this chapter because I'm going to focus on the next wave of the story (mostly the feel-good stuff we all came here to see and enjoy mixed with the main plot of this story). Plus, Finn deserves his character arc. And gosh darnit if I'm going to try to give him one.

This chapter ends kinda in the middle of a scene, but that's only because I just cannot publish a 9k+ chapter lol. I had to stop somewhere. It's not really a cliffhanger, though, so no worries!

Happy reading!

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**CHAPTER 16**

_Jakku_

_REY_

* * *

Anakin and Finn’s canteens had run dry over an hour ago. While Rey knew the importance of staying hydrated in this climate, she’d opted to only drink from their canteens twice the whole journey, her sips sparse so not to take any more than she needed to stay alert. Skywalker looked drained, but his history with a desert environment aided him a little, though it had been a while since he’d actually lived on Tatooine. The fact was that even he looked exhausted. Finn’s clothes were drenched in sweat, his skin slick and shiny. He hunched forward on his speeder, panting like water had yet to be invented.

Swallowing, Rey’s mouth lifted when the displaced image of the fallen star destroyer emerged from the horizon. The sun set, which allowed them a respite from the intense midday heat. A patrol of stormtroopers had blocked them from using Pilgrim’s Road. Rey had easily guided them an alternate route, but the new course had cost them two more hours of travel. The scavenger, in her blind emotional state back at the outpost, had broken one of her top cardinal rules of survival. Her stash of food and her canteen were still on the Falcon, so she was at the mercy of whatever scraps of food Anakin and Finn offered her. The whole way Rey hadn’t asked. She could go at least a week without food. A few hours were nothing.

The closer they approached the decayed starship, the more relief flooded her chest. It would get cold soon, so their arrival couldn’t have been more perfect as far as timing went. Rey utilized the thrusters to leverage more speed, surging past the two of them. The sooner she saw Ben, the sooner she could relax. It was almost silly. They’d spent so much of their time apart in their bond than together, but being away from him the six hours now left her almost itchy with the need to be with him.

The speeder rushed toward the ship and eventually, she entered its large, gaping maw. Across the other side, Rey saw the Falcon and little mines exploded in her belly, the fire transforming into butterflies that tickled her gut and made her toes curl. Biting her lip, the scavenger looked behind her, seeing Anakin and Finn catching up to her. In the sand on either side of her, she saw one of the fallen TIE fighters she and Finn had lost on their way out of this planet. Perhaps the vessel could still have a working part they needed for the Falcon if it hadn’t been fully stripped yet.

The three of them neared the Falcon, and Rey was the first to hop off, immediately finding Ben and wrapping her arms around him. He kissed her temple even though her body was lathered in a thin layer of sweat.

“You smell awful.”

Pulling away, the scavenger gently shoved him away. “Welcome to Jakku. Hopefully, though, I will be able to bathe,” she retorted. Rey hugged Desren when he launched at her. Kneeling down, she smoothed his hair, fingers fidgeting with his silka bead strand attached to the growing hair braided. The boy was officially a padawan, and the look suited him. “When I get back, you’ll have to tell me everything about your training.” Cupping his face, she stood up, turning toward the direction she would find the cave entrance, but Desren caught her hand. She turned to look down at him.

“But you only just got back!” Desren fussed, his expression broke her resolve.

Rey shook her fingers at the top of his head, but his shorter style didn’t mess up as it once did before his training. A thin smile disturbed her flat lips. “There’s work to be done. I’m not going far. I’m just going to make sure the spring is safe for us to use while we’re here.”

“Then I wanna help!”

Rey lifted her brow. “Do you remember what happened when we were running low on water and I let you help me carry it back to Master Luke’s home?”

“I only dropped the water because my kyber crystal fell out of my pocket! It never happened again.” The boy rushed to his master, tugging on his cloak and pulling him back to Rey. “Tell Rey I can come!”

“I’m afraid that’s not quite how this arrangement works, Desren,” Skywalker mused, though a grin tugged his mouth to life. Untangling his hands in front of him, Anakin cupped Desren’s shoulder and chuckled softly. “I’m your master; therefore, I give _you_ orders,” he said, sighing and looking to Rey. “Although I am curious about these caves. I suppose we could join you. It might be an interesting opportunity for Desren to learn a few things and further his training.”

The scavenger swallowed, features pinching as she checked back toward the entrance. “I really don’t need any help. I won’t be gone too long.”

Ben moved toward her, kissing her damp hair and pulling back, wiping his mouth. When she looked up at him, she laughed at the funny, disgusted expression twisting his features. “Rey, you’re not alone anymore. If you think you’re going in there alone, you’re wrong.”

“Someone needs to stay here and look after the Falcon,” Rey argued. Crossing her arms, the scavenger rolled her eyes and lifted her brows. “And be my guest if you want to go down there,” Rey added, pointing her thumb in the direction of the entrance.

Ben narrowed his eyes and checked over her shoulder, remaining where he stood. “I’m sure Finn would be happy to stay behind with Padme and Jannah.”

A slick laugh cut him off. The woman’s wild hair of tight curls bounced as she moved toward them. Looping her fingers on her belt, she scoffed. “No more assuming I’ll do anything. I’m here on behalf of the Resistance. One of my generals is here, so he’s the only person I will take direct orders from here on out.”

“Will everyone just stop?” Padme said, a low grumble escaping her throat as she squeezed in the middle of the small circle they’d all formed. “I understand we all have our differences, but right now we _have_ to work together.”

“It’s insulting that anyone would think I will willingly listen to an Empire overlord dog or his Supreme Leader First Order pup. I didn’t defect to only have to listen to these people a few years later.”

Anakin stepped forward. “What was that?”

“Ani,” Padme warned, placing her flattened palm on his chest. The ambassador looked to Jannah. “I can’t begin to understand where you’ve been or what you’ve endured. All I know is that we’re both on the same side. That’s all that should matter for now at the very least.”

“And then there’s you!” Jannah stalked closer to Rey, their noses almost touching. 

Rey relaxed her arms at her sides. “What about me?”

“For years you hid away from everyone, always running from the Force when you were the only one who could have taught me and Finn a thing or two. Maybe you didn’t want to begin a new Jedi Order, but maybe we could have!”

“I thought that, too, when I found Luke. I didn’t see it then, but I understand a bit better now,” Rey replied. Sighing, the scavenger rubbed one elbow with her palm and knit her brows together. “Simply put, the Force is what binds the universe together, Jannah. That people—Jedi and Sith alike—ever thought it was something that was ever ours to claim is the problem. All the power we fantasize being ours is all borrowed. We’re at the will of the Force. Not the other way around.”

Finn rested his hand on Jannah’s shoulder, though it was Rey he looked to. “Luke let his fear drive him into exile, Rey...as did you. You didn’t give us a chance to build it right.”

They were talking in circles. How many ways could people talk about the same subject before results popped up? The same restlessness from when she went to Kylo Ren to save Snoke swelled in her chest. Flexing her fingers, Rey sighed, slipping between Ben and Anakin to stalk toward the cave entrance. Finn called her name out, but Anakin stopped him from following her, blocking his approach with his body.

“Leave her be, general. No need to smother her. Give her some time, and I’m sure we will all reach an appropriate conclusion,” Skywalker said, his voice aloof and even. Monotonous. 

“That’s the last time either of you touch me,” Finn seethed. Holding out his hand, Rey’s saber flew past Anakin and into his palm. Ben shoved Jannah and Desren back, while Anakin stood between Finn and Padme. Igniting her saber, Finn shook and his jaw trembled. “The only one between the three of you I care about is Rey.”

While Rey reached out toward her bag, Jannah’s breath caught, and she looked like she was awoken from a spell. Moving around Ben, she held up both of her hands. “Finn, are you mad? This isn’t you! Come back to us.”

Finn didn’t spare her a glance, but he didn’t swing Rey’s blade. Yet. Closing her eyes, she tried to slip into Finn’s mind, but something far more powerful than the ex-stormtrooper was capable of at the moment blocked her attempt. Neither Anakin nor Ben ignited their own sabers, but both did have theirs readied in case they had to defend the others.

Gripping her saber’s hilt, Finn stepped back toward Rey. “I’m not mad. I’m finally seeing everything clearly.” Holding his hand out to Jannah, he pushed her with the Force until she was knocked unconscious as she impacted the hard metal ship in the distance. Finn turned, ignoring Padme’s cries and Anakin’s attempt to control the Resistance general. His eyes were heavy with tears that poured down his face. Biting his thick bottom lip, he held out one hand to the scavenger. “Rey, I don’t care if you’re a Jedi, a Sith, or nothing. We started this together. Teach me what you will. I’m done being used.”

Rey stood her ground, hand still reaching in the direction of her bag, as he stepped closer to her. When she heard Anakin’s saber ignite, something in the galaxy clicked into place. Searching his dark eyes, she swallowed. “Darth Maul.”

The general’s features broke, but a flicker of defiance remained, holding together his flimsy resolve. Tightening her lightsaber in his grip, he retracted his hand and held the hilt in both of his hands, trembling before her. “I didn’t know it was him until it was too late.”

Rey shocked him by stepping forward. Finn froze a few paces away, but she closed the distance. As she walked closer, she said, “It was you who tampered with Poe’s mind. Not you alone; acting for Maul. No one else could have possibly had enough access from within the Resistance and enough trust from the most powerful groups in the New Republic that would have the opportunity.”

“Thankfully you got in the way, though. I’ve never had as much control on my abilities as Maul has over my mind right now.” Finn’s chin trembled. “Rey, I’m tired of fighting for control. He’s too strong. You have to help me!”

“He offered to you what you could not refuse.” The heat from her saber nearly pinched her cheek, so she stopped her pursuit. “What was it?”

“It’s not like that. It started with whispers. Your voice. About a year ago. The longer I went without being trained, the more desperate I became for help. At first, you told me you were off gathering resources for the new Jedi order, so I did what you told me to do and started rounding up kids and folks who were also Force sensitive.”

“Why did you never try reaching out to me if you heard my voice? You should know I would never steer you toward the Dark side. That’s part of why I stayed away from you.” Rey shook her head, holding the weight of his gaze in her own as his spirit crumbled before her. “I could have killed Poe because of you.” Her breathing started stuttering as she inhaled quickly, but Ben’s warmth infiltrated her mind and impregnated her heart with the Light, calming the storm threatening to rage at any second. “Do you know what I sacrificed for you and the Resistance when I woke up and left Snoke’s throne room?”

“Rey…” Finn stepped back when she stepped forward, holding back her saber so not to cut her face. “It was supposed to be us. I just don’t understand why he matters at all. He’s a monster.”

“Yes, he was.” The walls of Rey’s throat slammed together, cutting off her air supply until she swallowed the thick ball of sharp emotion back to her belly. Flexing her jittery fingers, she allowed tears to roll down her face as she simply stared at Finn. “And I loved him even when I drowned underneath all the shame and fear that accompanied that fact. Our tether, at first, was a shackle. I could only get so far from the Dark. But then everything changed. He touched my hand, and it was like the whole galaxy breathed new life. For the first time in my whole life, I wasn’t alone. He saved me, Finn.”

“He killed Han, his own father. He could kill you!”

“That’s not possible, Rey retorted, head shaking as she chuckled. “And I’m not going to apologize for how I feel about him or what we’ve been through together, Finn.” Wiping her eyes, Rey scoffed. Chest concaving as a sob wracked her body, she briefly looked down and covered her hand with the back of her wrist, slowly sliding it down her chest until she grasped her stomach. Rey straightened her spine, eyes hardening. “I won’t do it.”

A hasty wind whistled between them, and sand dusted the small space separating them. The dry, hot world beyond the destroyed starship almost felt miles away. Like it didn’t even exist. Finn shook his head, a nasty snarl curled his upper lip as he looked her over. “There’s nothing you can tell me that makes this make sense, but I can’t stand beside you if he’s there. Not after everything he and his grandfather have done to the galaxy.”

“Right now, I see no difference between the men they left behind and you. You risked Poe’s life because you let in a creature of the past.” Someone somewhere shoved a knife right in her gut. It had to be real because the pain sank too deep in her heart. Releasing the breath caught in her lungs, the scavenger stepped back, nodding. “Finn, the Resistance—the legacy Leia left behind that you and Poe always speak of—all of it would have crumbled to the ground. And it would be because of _you_.” 

Finn tightened his grasp on her saber. “Stop it…” he whispered. “Thanks to you, it never came to that.”

“And there’s more you’ve done.” The breaths flowed swiftly in and out of her body, stuttering as she shivered. Eyes narrowing, she pressed against his mind and shook her head. “I sense it in a place in your mind I cannot go right now. That’s the point the Jedi failed to see, Finn. The Light? The Dark? We’re not deities immune to either side of the Force. We’re people who feel—probably more than anyone living amongst us. All of us are capable of great and terrible things. The thing that bridges the deep divide between the Dark and the Light sides is compassion.”

“Compassion?” The general laughed. “Is that what you call all the times I’ve tried to fight at your side and you just left and shoved me out of the way? What about all the times I threw everything I believed out the window if it meant to save you?” Finn turned around, pointing her saber to Ben. The tips of their blades buzzed as they crackled against each other, but neither made any sudden movements. “Not only did this monster torture our friends, he lured you right to his master Snoke. He knew what he was doing all the times he hurt you. Everyone says that he’s Leia’s son, but I think Kylo Ren was right. He told Han, before killing him, that his son was dead.”

Ben sealed his other hand on his saber, the violet shade of his dark crossguard hilt shaking under his violent grip. Lip curling and eyes twitching in sync with his jaw, her husband breathed erratically as he opened his mouth, no words spoken at first. “Are you stupid enough to believe that I don’t know I’m not worthy of her?”

“I really don’t think you get it, _Ren_ .” Finn’s stance stabilized as he bent his knees and twisted his boots in the sand. Bringing her saber back to his right shoulder, the general spit in Ben’s direction toward the sand. “You go from leading our greatest opposition to dead and back to living again. For seemingly no reason. Only now you’re with Rey? _And_ you’re not being held accountable for all the shit you did? Instead, it’s the stormtroopers’ fault. Like you and your First Order didn’t pry each and every one of us from our families to build your stupid army.”

The scavenger didn’t know where Finn ended and where Darth Maul began. Upon reflection, Rey conceded that, although lonely, life on her own had been much simpler. Fisting her hands, Rey cut Ben off. “Finn, he’s my husband. You don’t get to talk to him that way. He has yet to treat you so fouly since returning.”

Her diversion worked because he snapped back in her direction. “I don’t _get_ to talk to him that way, huh?” Stepping toward her, Finn’s features broke the longer he looked at her.

Rey swallowed, but squared her shoulders and jaw. Although she didn’t look to Ben, the scavenger blinked as she passed on a message to his mind. _Lower your lightsaber, Ben. He stands little chance against you if you provoke him._ Exhaling, she managed to slow her heart rate by dragging it out until every stitch of air left her chest. Waiting a second before inhaling, Rey bit her lip and released it. “We have to get Maul out of your head.”

“Don’t change the subject.”

“I’ll do it by choice or force if I must.” Rey narrowed her eyes and sighed. “You have an idea of what happens if you manage to leave here and become his apprentice. He wants me, and you know it. You’ll never possess a fraction of the power I have at my disposal. You’ll be discarded because that’s how it’s always been. For those before Anakin and those since.”

The Force showed her that he would try to strike at her, so she called Kylo Ren’s saber to her and blocked his futile attack with the blade that killed Han Solo and thousands of others. Probably much more. Although the hilt was too long and too thick for her to leverage the perfect grip on it, Rey felt connected to the man who’d once held onto this saber to cut down those in his past as well as protect her once. It was probably wildly inappropriate to love a man capable of such violence, but Rey came face-to-face with the truth: her love was unconditional. Ben was her soulmate, but it had been through Kylo Ren with whom she’d first explored the depths of what love was: even while she fought against the idea. 

A small smile flickered warmth in her cool features as a tear slipped down her face. Finn grunted, using his physical strength against her, but she willed the Force to lend her some power to anchor where she stood; it was he, instead, who was pushed back. 

Though Rey was slower at the lightsaber than Anakin and Ben, two people who’d trained most of their lives at the blasted weapon, she held every advantage against Finn, though he had held his own against a wounded Kylo Ren on Starkiller. He wasn’t totally helpless, so to underestimate that would be her folly. The scavenger, easily deflected his attacks and only swung when necessary to avoid his onslaught. The Force, though, was unable to pierce whatever hold Maul had on his mind right now as she tried to freeze his body. With each attempt to do so, Maul’s sinister chuckle only got louder, but she wouldn’t let it distract her.

“You don’t love me, Finn!” Rey said, her voice steady and calm. Groaning when she reached a wall as she backed away from him, she bared her teeth and shoved him back, but he caught his balance before he tripped down. “At least not in the way you think!”

“Don’t tell me what I believe!” Their blades hissed when he swung at her again. Rey hopped up, avoiding his low swing. “I’ve always believed in you! I’ve always followed you!”

“No...You’ve always been afraid to lose me, but, Finn...you never had me. I wasn’t yours to lose,” she shouted. Raising Kylo’s saber flat above her face, she looked up at Finn, the red glare hissing against the yellow hue of her saber. “I know why it’s easy to confuse what you feel for love. I know it, too, because I’ve never had much in the way of possessions. All because I had to grow up here alone. You were taken as a boy, Finn, and you want so desperately to hold onto the things that feel like the family you will never know. It clouds your mind even now! Like me, you allowed it to take over your entire soul. It’s unbearable, but you’re not alone. You’ll go to Maul over my dead body. You have Finn, Rose, and Jannah. The whole of the Resistance! We’re all each other’s family. You must see it!”

The longer she talked, the thinner the barrier keeping her from his mind got, so she leveraged the opportunity and slipped inside of his mind, traversing the endless trails that sparked across his thoughts. Flashes of their time together zapped before her, but she moved deeper, seeing an infestation of a blurry red glow. Grinding her teeth together, she slipped beyond through a narrow crack, hearing some of the whispers crescendo louder and louder until reality fell away from her and it was all she could perceive.

The incoherent words thrashed until images projected into her mind. Back on Naboo, the scavenger watched as Finn inspected the ship they’d crash landed on Ajan Kloss. Something blinked in his hand. At first, she thought it was an explosive, but upon closer examination, she recognized that it was a tracker. The general quickly attached it to an obscure part of the craft. Rey’s eyes flashed to Finn’s as she gasped. They looked clouded, blurry. 

Suddenly, Anakin cupped his shoulder, asking something. Rey studied Skywalker, noting the curious expression laced with suspicion. They briefly chatted, but she couldn’t hear. 

“I’ve waited too long to speak with you again.” Darth Maul’s voice echoed around in the void space that feasted on Finn’s mind. “I may be too late for you yet, but I’ve discovered other ways to sway you back to the Dark.”

“What makes you think you can win me? Kylo Ren was incapable. So was Darth Sidious. You died an apprentice.”

Maul phased before her, both ends of his saber staff burned red and ready to pierce her organs if that was what he wished. His dark grin unnerved her. “Kylo Ren was weakened by _love_. And Palpatine? He was foolish to believe he could sway you with simply his blood connection.”

Rey gripped her hands, feeling naked and vulnerable without the saber she held back in reality. “There’s no way you will win this.”

“Child, you must use a bit of the imagination you leveraged as a child...playing by yourself stranded in the middle of the desert where your pathetic family abandoned you.” Maul’s grin died, but he stepped toward her. “Ben Solo’s death was just long enough for me to harness my talents and search the Force for more power while you closed yourself off to it. But there is more power that belongs to me in you, and I will smoke it out the only way that matters now.”

“No.”

“Yes, _girl_ . You will watch as every part of your life catches fire around you. Even you have a breaking point. Fortunately for me, you, too, suffer a similar weakness as Kylo Ren did. You love too much.” Before she could speak, Maul stabbed his saber through Rey’s heart, but the scavenger didn’t fall over dead. Instead, she snapped back to reality and was hurled from Finn’s head. _I look forward to breaking you, girl._

The heat of her saber almost collided with her neck, but Ben shoved her back from where he stood and shot Finn in the leg with Han’s blaster. The general groaned and released his hold on her saber, which deactivated as it rolled to Rey’s side. Both Rey and Finn fell to the ground.

The scavenger’s eyes were wide as she clutched her heart and suffered a sharp ache in her lungs. Convulsing as she brought her head to her knees, Rey sobbed quietly as a few flashes of the bodies of those whom she loved the most surrounded her in the throne room on Exegol. It was just like the few years she suffered quietly. Alone. Though the Force had been closed off to her, a stray nightmare had managed to haunt her a few nights each month. 

Crossing her feet at her ankles, the scavenger composure broke as the image of Ben’s severed head on a pike next to her grandfather’s throne kept her company as she assumed it. Gripping her hair, she didn’t stop herself when her nails began to dig into her scalp. Low mumbles incoherently choked her as the Rey in her vision showed her Han standing where she’d stood against her grandfather. He had no saber. Only his blaster. In the distance, Chewie’s lifeless, charred body permeated the air surrounding them. The vision Rey stood and slowly paced toward the old man, igniting Kylo Ren’s saber and shoving the red blade through his heart before he had a chance to speak.

Hands grasped hers, and the scavenger tried shoving away at whoever, but Ben’s strength, physically and in the Force, eclipsed hers right now, so he remained steady as she jerked away from him. Enveloping her in his arms, Ben quieted her by smothering her mouth with his until her outburst subsided. The edges of his thumbs wiped away tears that fell from her brown eyes just as she inhaled, opening her mouth to him. They both grabbed onto each other’s clothes, fingers trembling in sync with their bodies against the other. The smooth expanse of his tongue warmed her, and the cold pinching her waned just enough for her breathe a sigh of relief. 

Moaning, Rey reached for his chin, her touch featherlike as she touched the curve of his neck like he had done with her so many times. Whispering each other’s name like a quiet prayer with the power to revive those they’d lost, they brushed sweet, quick kisses over each other’s mouths, noses, and chins until their frenzy lulled. Ben’s fingers were lost in her unkempt hair, while she nearly snagged the fabric of his black long sleeve shirt. 

Right above his heart.

Ben pulled away from her mouth in order to sink against her, holding onto her like she’d disappear from him the way he did to her. Rey’s eyes fixed on Finn, who held a hand over where Ben shot him on his thigh. What held her focus was Anakin’s lightsaber pointing down at her friend.

“Ben.”

Her husband jerked as he tensed and threw his gaze over his shoulder. They stood together, but it was Ben who reached his grandfather first. Holding his hand out, Ben swallowed. “Anakin, deactivate your saber.”

The look in Skywalker’s eyes was something the scavenger knew well. Understood even. He’d seen what Rey had, and he knew that Finn, in some way, was the reason why his wife’s life was in danger. “I sensed something was off back in Naboo,” he said, teeth bare and grinding against each other. The air flowing between the small crevices of his teeth made him sound like he hissed like a creature. His attention targeted only Finn. “I lost Padme once before because of my failure to see what was right in front of me.”

“Anakin! You won’t hurt him! He’s unable to control what he does,” Padme yelled from back where she tended to Jannah’s unconscious body. Standing, she shifted her skirts and rushed to her husband, placing her hand on his arm as she stepped between him and Finn. Her shoulder nearly grazed the edge of Skywalker’s saber. “You will not hurt him. You’re going to go through me first.”

Ben reached out for his red saber, still ignited and slid it underneath his grandfathers’. “Grandfather, she’s safe now. No one won’t hurt her with us around to help protect her.”

Padme scoffed, her eyes switching between both men. “I need for everyone to stop pretending that I’m totally helpless here. I know how to use blasters. I may be unable to use the Force, but it was average, everyday people who died saving the galaxy beside the heroes. If I recall correctly, it was a fleet of cargo ships and transports that tipped the scale in the aerial battle at Exegol.”

Anakin tore his gaze from Finn to his wife. Tears stung his blue eyes, and looked down and nodded, though he did not deactivate his saber. “I cannot lose you, Padme. I wouldn’t survive it.”

Padme avoided the pulsing blue glow of his saber and threw herself on him. Anakin immediately killed the weapon and wrapped his arms around his wife, bringing her in for a passionate kiss. Somewhere in history, these two people who loved each other as fiercely as she loved Ben had hidden their entire life together. Their love had destroyed the galaxy’s fate, but Rey couldn’t deny the warmth that flooded her chest as she stared at them. Luke and Leia probably never knew they were born of such a powerful love. If they did, neither of them had spoken on the matter of their mother. Ben deactivated the restored red saber and took her hand. 

When Padme pulled away, she took Anakin’s face in her palms and smiled up at him. “We have the chance to build a new life together, Ani. We have to do better this time. Hiding isn’t something that matters anymore. This new Jedi Order can be a way to start over...to live out the rest of our lives the way we always imagined before I lost you,” she whispered. 

“You’re right.” Anakin put his saber on his belt and wrapped his arms around her small body, resting his forehead to hers. “I’m sorry I almost lost control.”

The ambassador pressed a quick kiss against his mouth before pulling back and smiling. “All that matters is that you came back to me.”

The scavenger looked away from Anakin and Padme, opting to throw her attention down at Finn. Letting go of Ben’s hand, she knelt down and winced when she saw the blaster wound. Although Ben had strategically shot the outermost part of his leg, the wound wasn’t as shallow as she would have liked. Blood oozed out of the wound at a leisurely pace. 

“Get this cleaned and dressed,” Rey said to no one in particular. Reaching out for her saber, the scavenger cut off a long part of the fabric that dangling around her legs. Folding it, she handed it to him, but he stopped her hand with his.

“Just let him kill me, Rey.” Finn’s body convulsed as he adjusted to the pain. Rey looked to her friend, who stared at her from where he sat on the sand. “Everything you said is true. I could have destroyed the Resistance. I endangered Poe...and Padme’s lives. I don’t know how to resist this. I’m not like you.”

“No one’s killing anyone, Finn.” 

Standing, she dropped the fabric onto his lap and turned, walking away from the group and passing Desren. Stopping only long enough to ruffle the top of his head with her hand, Rey marched back onto the Falcon and gathered a few things: her canteen, an extra helping of food to accommodate the lack of it in her stomach at the moment, and a change of clothes.

* * *

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